


Lost in Translation

by Cynical_Cat



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Past Relationship(s), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 15:00:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 46,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20584427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cynical_Cat/pseuds/Cynical_Cat
Summary: Grossly unprepared for the responsibilities left in the wake of her father's death, Sara finds herself struggling to find a home for her people. Survival is all she should care about, yet an unlikely companion gives her hope that she can have a life in this galaxy. One she never thought she deserved.But hope is a dangerous thing and she might not have the words for it any more.





	1. Chapter 1

“And that’s the last one.” Lexi announced as she removed the last suture. The skin above Sara’s eye tugged uncomfortably with it, but it didn’t pain her. Not like it had at first. “We’re almost done, Sara. Let me get the table calibrated for one last scan.” Lexi tapped Sara’s naked shoulder to have her lay back down on the exam table and with an annoyed groan she complied.

“Lift your arm up for me please.”

“I’ve broken my ribs plenty of times. Why all these tests?” The newly named Pathfinder questioned as a little chime sounded, signaling it’s warm up.

“It’s field protocol. We’re dealing with a lot of firsts here and I’m not leaving anything to chance. Hold still for me please.”

Sara laid her head back and willed her body to relax as the medical instrument ran its tests. 

She had never been very good at staying still. She had many fond memories of being begged to go to sleep and less fond memories of Alic’s hushed reprimands to quit fidgeting when she had to attend another one of his “honorary banquets”. Worse than any of her father's political events, Sara hated the stillness of sick bays. From their small nook onboard the Tempest to the large centers on the Citadel, their sterile air, eerie uniformity, and the way they seemed separate from the time passing outside, she had spent far too much of her life in them.

"Almost done. You're doing great." Her freshly sealed cut above her eye itched and the cold polymer of the table dug uncomfortably into her bruised back. The flow of filtered air made her exposed skin prickle with chill-bumps as she held her breath then slowly let it out. She had learned ways to tame the impatience that plagued her childhood. Meditation had been a necessary part of her early biotics training and she had trained her mind to become her escape. 

Only… now …

_Lightning struck the ground behind her, its energy biting at her heels. Her bruised body protested as she pushed herself to keep going, to push harder, to move faster._

_She could see her father dart ahead, moving their small team deeper into this odd complex. She and Liam had found a research site above such a structure and she had felt its alien energy pulsed through the smooth metal. It had unnerved her then and it unnerved her now as Alic interfaced with it._

_A wave of energy washed over the room as it was activated and a collective breath was released. The angry sky was clearing up and she could hear the voice of the pilot announce their approach. They had done it. They were making it off this planet._

_If only she’d known how foolish that thought had been._

_The next moments were a blur as the ground bucked beneath her and something slammed into her. Hard._

_She reached out, scrambling for a hold when her right hand had caught the edge of the deck. Her arm could no longer feel pain but she could still feel it strain as she held on for dear life. _

_Suddenly, her head snapped back as something slammed into her. She didn’t have time to register pain as the sensation of falling pushed her stomach into her throat and she watched the ground rapidly approach her._

"…And that’s it. Everything looks like it's healing correctly." Lexi snapped her back to reality as her Initiative issued shirt was tossed at her. "Just try to take it easy. It's healing but-"

"-don’t go picking fights." Sara finished as she flipped her hair out from the collar with a shaky hand. 

She balled her trembling hands into fists and hoped the doctor couldn’t see the beads of sweat forming on her brawl. She shook the chill of the unwanted memory off as she got up.

"I didn't really plan on sentry robots. I'll have to be more creative in my mission prep next time." Her dry humor got a small smile from Lexi and Sara needed something to distract her mind right now. 

"Yes. That's really rather small minded of you." Dr. P’terro rolled her eyes as she played along. "Do try to think- oh… what's the human phrase?"

"Earth slang is Liam's area of study." Sara replied dryly as she slipped her shoes back on.

"Something about ideas leaving the square or box?" The doctor mused for a moment. "I'll have to ask him later. I'm serious though, Ryder. I won't lecture you, but please try to be more cautious. We have no means to measure the danger here."

"Like planets with toxic air and hostile aliens?"

The asari sighed, "Ryder, you-"

"Pathfinder! You might want to come up to the bridge." Kallo's panicked voice ripped through the ship's coms.

"What is it?"

"We're approaching an unknown object. Several very big unknown objects." His words made her skin now prickle for a new reason. She shared an unsettled look with Lexi.

"On my way."

Their conversation thoroughly finished, Sara rushed out of the med bay, cold blood rushing through her body, and made it to the control room in record time.

“What are you seeing?" She asked, her voice taking on a harder tone. 

"Whatever it is, it’s blocking our long range scans." Suvi's calm voice wavered.

"And we're locked in! Ryder-"

"SAM! Gil! What power can be diverted to the shields and thrusters?" Her blood was roaring in her ears and she only hoped her voice came out calmer than she felt.

"Accessory power can be rerouted and I can increase the shields efficiency by 11%." SAM reported.

"I can lower life support to emergency levels." Gil's voice was airy as the clanking of metal echoed in the background. "How much power are you needing?"

"Enough to get us out fast if things go bad." She gripped the console, her knuckles turning white.

"Exiting light-speed." Announced the pilot with a shaky voice.

The tunnel of lights suddenly snapped back into focus, but what she saw made her mind stiffen in fear.

In front of them, bulbous ships of various classes blotted out the stars. Their beetle like shells looked harsh and more like ancient earth tanks than space faring vessels. The drop ships that’d caused them so much trouble back on Habitat 7 instantly flashed in her mind, and she felt a wave of dread as she realized that they had stumbled over a Kett armada. Behind them, the twisting black fingers of the Scourge created a moving wall, effectively pinning them in.

The Tempest had beautifully sailed into their trap.

The largest loomed above them bathing the Tempest in a cold light.

"They're scanning us!", "We're being hailed." Suvi and Kallo's cried over each other.

Sara turned and saw the rest of her crew watching her pensively. Meeting their eyes, she nodded and gave them, she hoped, a reassuring look.

She just wished someone would return it.

Inhaling deeply, she squared her shoulders and gave Suvi a small nod. "Let it through."

The console threw up the holo screen and a kett glared back at her.

It’s ashy face was sunken in, giving it an air of unquenched hunger as jagged, bony platting framed its face only to come together to make a ring behind its head. Almost like a halo.

The twisting of her stomach made her think that they were anything but saviors.

"Who is the one responsible for awakening the Remnant?" His dead eyes roamed the screen until they settled on her. "Their DNA signature is there. Answer me!"

"I am Pathfinder Ryder of the Initiative. We travel this galaxy in peace-" she was cut off as the ship lurched and the lights of the controls blinked out.

"They've locked navigations!"

"We're being pulled in!"

"We haven’t done anything to you! What do you want?" She dropped the politeness and looked into his cloudy eyes unflinching. He had nothing on her father's glare.

"The unreceived shall know its avail soon." He said dismissively. “You have knowledge I seek. Knowledge that is beyond you.” 

No no no! She dug her nails into her palm as a bead of sweat slid down her neck. She had to get them out! Think Sara! Think!

"I almost have control of the navigations." SAM said through her coms earpiece. "I need 30 seconds, Pathfinder."

Buy him some time? Okay yeah, she could do that.

"We believe in sharing knowledge. Perhaps we could exchange? I tell you what I found at the research sites and then you tell me how you are using our language?" She blurted, saying the first thing on her mind. "Did you decipher it yourselves or did you find one of our translators?"

She heard a disbelieving breath behind her.

The cold eyes focused on her again. "Unaccended, you're prattle is trivial. All knowledge serves the holy kett empire."

She filed away that alarming command to think about later, because throughout her studies, the wake of armies marching under the banner of ordainedhood rarely ended in anything but blood.

Sara barreled on. SAM needed just a little more time.

"Have you completed Mother Tongues or just Galactic Common?" She said in English.

He paused, her words clearly not registering and his leathery face crumpled in rage.

"Enough! Take comfort in knowing that this day marks the beginning of your greatness."

Suddenly the interfaces lit up.

"Navigations are back online." Suvi yelled.

"Coarse plotted Pathfinder."

Without her needing to give the command, the Tempest shot forward into the twisting energy cloud as three Kett cruisers gave chase.

"SAM! Gil! Keep our shields up! Kallo-" the ship jerked and she was thrown into the console. Pain burst through her side as the air was punched from her lungs.

"One ship down!" The pilot cheered.

She gripped the console as another violent jolt shook them and a red warning popped up on her interface.

"This _khovek_ Scourge! It's draining our shields!" Kallo's voice yelled over the ship’s alarms. "We can't take another hit! Ryder-"

"Cora! Peebee! Lexi! Get to the lower decks!" She called over the coms. "We can't lose life support or the thrusters! Get a barrier up!" Shouts of acknowledgment rang out.

The landscape outside twisted and blurred into a nauseous tunnel of inky, shifting energy. She was almost too late. A tendril reached out for the nose of the ship and time seemed to move in slow motion as her arms flew up. Pulsing energy burned her skin as her biotics crackled over it. The energy was sent hurling out, wrapping around the bow as the dark clouds brushed against them.

She felt the Scourge rip and claw at her shield as her body shook from the strain. She willed it to stay strong, she saw in her mind the intricate weaving of a cloth, pulled tight but refusing to tear. She saw each thread, felt them strain and stretch but she refused to let them break. We are not dying here!

She let out a cry as the tendril gave one last flick before falling away.

Sagging against the console, she tried to get her vision to focus on the interface only to slam her eyes shut with a hiss as pain ripped through her head.

"We're through!" Kallo cheered.

"We made it." She breathed out as she slowly stood back up only for dark spots to swarm her vision.

"Easy there, Ryder." A clawed hand grabbed her arm to steady her. Vetra came into focus as she lowered her to the floor. The smuggler's mouth moved but her words were drowned out by the ringing in her ears. A droplet of sweat tickled as it rolled down her lip but her gloved fingers came back red when she whipped at it.

"I-I overloaded my nodes. Just g-give me a second." Trembling, she held her sleeve to her nose to catch the bleeding. Breathe Sara. It’ll pass. Just breathe.

"Ryder! We've got a problem!" Gil's panicked voice cried over the ship's coms.

"Give her a mi-"

"What's going on?" She cut off Vetra as she pulled herself up on shaky legs. With annoyance she noticed the finger shaped indents her right hand had left in the metal.

"We've got a fire in the lower deck, ruptured filtration lines, and busted fuel lines" she heard him let out an exasperated breath. "We've got to land. She won't stay spaceborn for long."

Finally able to see straight, she looked out and saw a dull gray planet with red veins stretching across its surface.

"Suvi, what are the scanners picking up? Is there a safe place to land?" She turned to the science officer.

"I'm seeing an area of 887 klicks that's within safe temperatures."

"Wait. That's where the navpoint is." Kallo looked at her with disbelief.

No sooner had she sagged in relief, a new notice flashed across her screen. Everyone froze.

"An unidentified ship is hailing us." Suvi said in a small voice.

Had they been followed? They were in no condition to run. If they were boarded they could fight, but for how long? She could barely stand and she knew the other biotics had to be in a similar shape. Half her crew was down and they could only hold out so long against a squadron of Kett. Was surrendering even an option with these dead eyed aliens?

"It…it's not Kett." Suvi said in disbelief. "It's a… different signal."

"Put me through." She straightened herself and assured the worried turian beside her that she could stand on her own. "I am Pathfinder Ryder of the Intuitive. We come with peaceful intentions."

A deep voice answered back in an unknown language. It sounded panicked and angry. Not a good combo.

“I’m sorry but we were unable to translate that.” She bit out nervously. "My ship is badly damaged and my crew needs medical attention. We mean you no harm and only ask for permission to land." Despite the numerous classes and training courses she had attended to preparing her for this moment, she felt small and out of her depths. That’s because you are. Alic should be doing this. Alic should be here, not you.

Two ships fell in beside them. Two heavily armed ships.

"They sent us a navpoint."

She let out a long nervous breath. "Bring us in nice and slow, Kallo."

* * *

While the Tempest broke orbit, Sara rushed to clean her bloodied face, change her stained shirt, and check in on her crew in the medbay. Gil had a gash on his forehead and a minor concussion from being slammed into the railing, Cora was being treated for node fatigue, and Peebee's arm was being dressed from where the duct fire had erupted. Lexi didn't fight her when she asked to quickly have her ribs wrapped again, and with a quick glance at the lieutenant, she rushed back out again.

Though it was brief, she and Cora shared, without words, a final order. If she didn’t make it back, the lieutenant would finally get her promised title.

Sara wasn't prepared for first contact. Then again, who ever was? Deep breaths hurt, her brain felt like it was about to drip from her ears, and her nerves were shredded. She should be in the sickbay but this was on her. She would have to hide the pain for just a little longer and try to make it off this planet without getting killed. They hadn't shot them out of the sky, so that was promising, but there were worse things than death.

Shaking her head to dislodge her morbid thoughts, she made her way to the lower decks to ready herself for the lowering of the ramp.

"We're in a delicate situation here. No one leaves the ship, no one does anything stupid." She spoke over the ship's coms. "Cora's in command while I'm gone and if things go south out there… SAM will be able to keep you updated and you get your asses off this planet."

"I don't like this." Drack's gravelly voice mused from the overhead walkways.

"I don't either, but what choice do we have?" More of her frustration slipped out then she intended.

"Take one of us with you. You'll need backup." Liam pleaded as he leaned over the railing by Drack.

"You know the protocol. It's less threatening when it's just one."

"Damn the protocol, Ryder! They could kill you on sight!" Vetra's mandibles twitched in worry.

"They've let us land in their port. That means something." She voiced the words she was trying to tell herself.

The ship rocked as it landed less gracefully than normal. It was time. Steeling herself, she slowly made her way down the ramp, hands opened and raised in the universal display of surrender. Well, it was universal in the Milky Way, she hoped it translated well in Andromeda.

Either way, she'd get her answer soon.

* * *

"Stay strong and clear." Jaal said in parting and he grasped another recruit- no, he corrected himself, they were soldiers now, he had seen to that. He proudly watched them load up the shuttle.

"Jaal," Na'har greeted being the last one to board the ship. He was one of the shortest of the group, only reaching his own chin. A fact that he teased his nephew about every chance he got. "I wanted to- I had hoped that-"

Like too many angara children, his nephew had become orphaned when his older brother and his wife had been taken by the kett. Na’har had barely been old enough to form his first electrical field when he had become a permanent member of his mother’s house. Though he was already training with the Resistance, he’d spend much of his leave time trying to coax the young angara out of his reclusive shell. In no short amount of time, Jaal could finally see him smile and live clearly again, though the weight of his grief snuck up on him from time to time. His family and himself were there for those starless nights.

Jaal laid a firm hand on his shoulder. "I will miss you as well. You will write, yes?"

"Of course! My mothers would search Voeld and drag me back if I didn't"

He let a booming laugh leave him. "That they would!" he pulled him in for a tight hug. "You better stay safe out there or I will be the one dragging you back. Stay strong and clear, Na'har"

“Stay strong and clear, Jaal."

Giving him one last squeeze. He finally released the younger man and silently watched as he boarded. Soon, the shuttle was just a small speck in the sky.

The venders were just beginning to set up their stalls in the market when he walked through. He had gotten up early so he could meet Na'har at the port to see him off. The soft morning sun was just now peaking so he had time to enjoy the cool morning air as he leisurely made his way to the Resistance's headquarters. Evfra had called for a meeting that morning and, if the last was anything to go by, he would need to enjoy the fresh air while he could. He had a feeling his day was going to be spent in an uncomfortable chair, in a stuffy room, listening to quarterly reports that he'd already read.

Inhaling the sweet fragrant air, he enjoyed one last lungful before entering the guarded building and preparing himself for a long mundane day.

* * *

General Anjik had been finishing his report when a wild eyed communications officer rushed in to whisper something in Evfra's ear. He was waiting for the gruff man to snap at them, scolding them for interrupting his meeting but when a horrified look quickly flashed over his face, Jaal knew something was terribly wrong.

"I have something that needs my attention. This meeting will continue at a later time."

Without another word of parting, Evfra ended the vidcalls and rushed out of the conference room expecting him to follow.

"Evfra! What is-"

"Our sensors have picked up a Kett armada exiting hyperspace outside of the Scourge."

Of all his years as a soldier, of all the times he had been separated from his squad or had been pinned down by enemy fire, fear had never frozen his mind as it did in that moment.

"...how?" He breathed in disbelief.

"Send word to Paaran! Get civilians off the streets and every disruptor cannon powered up!" His question was lost as Evfra barked orders as he rushed through the base. "Get our ships up in the sky! I want to know their every movement!"

"Sir!" A young comms officer waved him down. "I'm detecting another signal."

"Kett?"

"No sir. It's the same frequency as the Milky Way aliens' ships, but it's not any of the documented ones."

"A ship's passed through the Scourge!" Another officer called from a few stations down. "Not a Kett signal."

"Does anyone have a visual?" He radioed the patrolling ships.

"I've got eyes on them sir." A crackly male voice reported back. "There's smoke."

"Sir, I see them now." A second pilot chimed in. "Confirmed, I can see fire and hull damage."

"Send me your feed." He leaned forward when the main console blinked to life showing the most elegant starship Jaal had ever seen. Nothing like the Kett’s, this sleek vessel looked like an artisanal knife cutting through the sky. He barely noticed the tail of black smoke that trailed behind it as he marveled at its beauty.

"What are our orders?" The pilot's question brought him out of his gawking.

"Hail them."

A tense few seconds passed as the whole room fell silent.

"I am Pathfinder Ryder of the Intuitive. We come with peaceful intentions." Their translators filtered it and still he could hear the tension in their voice as an alarm rang in the background.

"You are trespassing in angara space. What is your purpose for being here?" The pilot sternly responded.

A long pause followed.

"We were unable to translate that." The alien hailed back.

Interesting. If they were unable to convert shelesh then that meant they weren't from that cesspool on Kadara. Were they from the space colony? He could see this curious ship coming from such a monumental station. He'd seen the reports but could hardly fathom such a construct.

"My ship is badly damaged and my crew needs medical attention. We mean you no harm and only ask for permission to land." It continued.

Evfra's burning eyes landed on him as he stepped close enough to be heard when he spoke lowly. "I need to know how they found Aya. How they navigated the skkuting Scourge."

"Could we not learn that from their onboard systems when we shoot them down?" Jaal’s logical side reasoned as his heart ached at the thought of destroying such art.

"Can we risk it? The information, if it is there, could get damaged." Evfra looked grimly at the display screens.

"And if they are working with the Kett?"

"You think the damage is staged?"

"Could be."

The grizzled man scratched his mantle in frustration as his field touched him with unnerved energy.

"We have to know for sure. We can not afford unanswered questions, especially ones so pivotal." The general reasoned sternly.

"You want to bring them in?"

He gave a curt nod. "Have Paaran ready the translation data. She'll no doubt meet them no matter what I say. I will oversee-"

"You cannot go down there! If this is a trap they will have access to both our leaders. We can't lose any more, Evfra." He protested.

Evfra grumbled but Jaal could see it in his eyes, he had gotten to him.

"Let me go."

"No. Jaal-"

"I can be your eyes. Assess them. Who else can you trust with this?"

Another frustrated grumble. "See to it." Gripping Jaal’s shoulder, he sent out a stern and worried current. Don't do anything stupid. "Escort them to the port. If they try anything, don't hesitate to kill them." He finally addressed the pilot.

"Copy that."

"I want the port cleared now! No shuttles on the landing platforms, no workers, no civilians."

Leaving his leader and friend to his barking, Jaal turned and left with purpose in his step.

Just as Evfra had predicted, the governor was waiting at the top of the port's steps, the small crowd gathering around her was only being held back by her city police. Fools with a title was more fitting. He had to push his way through the crowd, the crackling waves of fear, anxiety, and curiosity all crashed together as he passed, nearly overwhelming him. He caught a glimpse of a slender figure being lead through the bay by Evfra's men, guns drawn, and saw the alien stumble a step when one shoved it forward with the barrel of his gun.

When Paaran saw him approach, she gave him a stern look and let a jolt of warning flicker in her field. Behave.

"Evfra sent me." He said in passing as his eyes easily found the alien.

The governor was explaining something but it didn't reach him as his focus zeroed in on the odd being he loomed over. It was much smaller than he had first thought.

Barely reaching his shoulders, it's mantleless head was rounded, small, and bizarre tawny fibers sat on top it. It's skin reminded him of a creamy drink his mother use to make for him as its face turned up to him, undaunted. Lips a curious pinkish color were set in a hard line while a nose jutted out from its face oddly. Its small eyes were white except for its brilliant green iris that met his, unflinching. His eyes traveled down as a thin neck widened into familiar shoulders but then lead to an unfamiliar lumpy chest. Its thin hands ended with too many gangly fingers and its slim legs were unnaturally straight.

Though its face seemed brave, he noticed the slight trembling of its hands. It was scared. With guns pointed at its back, it had good reason to be.

He now wished he'd paid more attention to the Kadara reports. He had never visited the splintered alien colony himself, but he'd half read the data for meetings. Now he regretted not having a baseline to judge it from. Did its size indicate a lack of nutrition, a sign of youth, or its gender? Was its strange headpiece a display of status, rank, or familiar honor? Maybe it had been a mistake volunteering.

"Why have you come here?" It tensed as his voice came out louder than he intended. "This city is hidden, how did you find it?"

When it didn't respond right away he wondered if Paaran had given it a faulty language file.

"I apologize. We were ambushed by a kett fleet and were forced into the Scourge." Its voice was melodic and much higher than his own bass. Feminine then. "We were expecting to land on an uninhabited planet, not crash land in your city."

Her words were carefully picked. Honest but polite. He wondered if he was speaking with an ambassador. Her small stature and poised posture would suggest that and the title she used- Pathfinder- could be similar to their Counselors.

He decided to take her to Evfra. He'd get his answers and then decide what to do with her.

"Your crew will stay onboard the ship." He motioned to a guard knowing they were more than happy to enforce that. "Evfra wants a word with you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so surprised at the love the first chapter got! I plan on updating weekly until I run out of edited chapters. Until then, enjoy these anxious idiots.

Stepping out into the warm sunlight of Aya, Sara felt exhausted and dizzy from her meeting with the angara general. Considering she and her crew were alive, it had gone fairly well. The Vault she desperately needed to get to was here but it's location was long forgotten by all except one academic who was conveniently in the clutches of the Kett.

She rubbed her newly healed brow in frustration thinking about it. Every move she made in this damn galaxy seemed like it was one step forward then two steps back. To get to the Vault she needed to gain Evfra's trust, to gain his trust she needed to save this Moshae Sjefa, to save her she had to track down a science team that’s gone silent. How was she going to pull this off?

She was a Linguistics Technician who had fallen into a role she was comically under-qualified to fill. Everything she had accomplished so far felt like a lucky accident and now she was being asked to track down an angara team on an unfamiliar planet.

Speaking of the angara- she turned as she heard the loud footsteps of her newest crew member approaching her.

Jaal had volunteered to accompany her team as an envoy and once Evfra granted him reluctant permission, it was done. She didn't like the idea of having a possibly dangerous alien on the Tempest, where they eat and slept, but if she protested it would look like she had something to hide. She did appreciate him supporting her when the conversation with Evfra had hit a stalemate, but she was suspicious of his intentions. He had sounded… desperate. Like he needed to be on this mission just as much as she needed into their Vault.

She had to make this work.

"I have been told that you and your crew have clearance to the hanger and any tools you might need for repairs." Jaal's booming voice shook her as he stopped a little too close for her liking. "I strongly advise you to not leave it, through. The guards will not take kindly to wanderers."

Now that he was closer, she could see the details of his face that she’d only caught quick glances of before or was too focused on the gun barrels on her back to fully take in. His jawline was long and angular while his cheekbones were sharp and high. His full lips and flattened nose softened it while his enormous, round eyes pulled at her’s like magnets. They were an uncanny kaleidoscope of blues and speckled silver that was only broken by his slit pupil that now focused on her with uncomfortable intensity.

"I'll be sure to let them know." She nodded, the grim thought of his warning twisted her stomach. "It's going to take quite some time to finish patching the damage and even then it's not a permanent fix. I know you're very eager to get going but…"

"You need to return to your base?"

"Yes. The Nexus can fix it correctly and with the amount of fuel we lost, we won't really be able to go anywhere else. At least not safely."

"So long as you can ensure my well being, I do not see any problem in resupplying. You will need to be well prepared for the tasks ahead.”

His warning was unsettling.

"I'll have to update the director." She muttered, suddenly dreading _ that _ call. "But…uh- we'll start getting the ship ready for you then."

"Ready for me?" His sharp eyes stared down at her in suspicion. "What will need readying?"

_ Shit _.

"Oh no, it's just to make sure everything's safe and comfortable while you're traveling with us." She quickly corrected. "It's just protocol. We have to do this for every race and that's normally fine, but…"

"You need to know if your systems are safe for angara biology." He finished slowly.

Was he annoyed? Unnerved? She couldn't tell. This was going to be like learning to read turian mandible expressions and subvocals all over again. "Yes. I don't want to ask you anything that might make you uncomfortable, but I don't want any accidents. Not any that could’ve been prevented."

"Wise." He rumbled. "I will bring my own supplies and have one of our medical personnel meet with yours."

"Yes, that is… preferable." She was growing nervous as his eyes remained on her face. "Am I free to return to my crew or… are there any… other matters to discuss?" 

Did she seem like she was in a hurry to leave? She hoped not. Coming off as impatient or rude was not something she could afford right now.

"Hmm… yes. I believe Evfra has no more need of you." He nodded seemingly unoffended. 

"If he does, he knows where I'll be." The sudden thought of him changing his mind and gunning them down twisted her stomach into knots. "We'll be waiting for you whenever you have your supplies and are ready to load up."

She finally took a relieving step back from him as she waved a small good bye, not wanting to risk another bumbling handshake.

"I will not be late." He nodded, giving his own small parting gesture as two guards lead her back to her crew.

* * *

"Ryder!" Vetra was the first to see her walking up the loading ramp and, with her ridiculously long legs, she was at her side instantly. "Thank the Spirits! Are you okay?" Her subvocals betraying how worried she was.

"I'm pretty sure my blood pressure is through the roof, but other then that, I'm fine. Did the guards give you any trouble?"

"No, they just ran some external scans and let us put out the fires. They never even said anything to us. It was creepy." Liam joined them.

"Good, I was worried one of them would get spooked or one of the civilians would try something." She tried to not let what the bystanders said to each other get to her, but the hate and fear that laced their words made her uncomfortable. _ It should be in a cage, just shoot it and get it over with, they're taking it to Evfra, he'll deal with it. _It had been a long time since she was the new scary alien on the block. She had almost forgotten how self-conscious and anxious the scrutiny made her.

"So what's the verdict? Are we dead by sundown?" Peebee yelled from the railing above.

"Just get everyone to the conference table and I'll explain everything there." She was so tired but she still has so much to do. _ Just a little longer Sara. _

Everyone was waiting on her by the time her taxed body lumbered its way up the levels and with a steadying breath she began filling her crew in on their new situation.

Her crew all yelled at once. Their storm of opinions was not what her aching head needed.

"A rescue mission? No! I wanted to see the Vault!"

"Envoy my quads! More like spy."

"Ryder, we can't waste this opportunity."

"I know this isn't an ideal situation but what choice do we have?" She rubbed her temple, the throbbing from overtaxing her nodes earlier was now a rhythmic pounding against her skull. "We are marooned in _ their _ city. We need in _ their _ Vault. If we're going to survive and live in this galaxy then we have to make _ damn _ sure our new neighbors trust us." Her voice was surprisingly level as she pointed out their situation. 

She looked around the room and saw the reluctant acceptance pass over their eyes. Sara had won them over this time.

"What's the plan?" Drack grumbled.

She was quiet for a moment as her mind took longer than normal to process their needs.

"Gil, take who you need to fix the hull's damage. Kallo, can you work on the busted interior systems?" She finally said.

"Absolutely Pathfinder." The pilot quickly voiced.

"Great. Suvi, help him out. Lexi, Vetra, get a space ready for our guest and make sure any data terminals are secured. Drack, warn Kesh that the Nexus is about to get a shake up." As they scrambled to their tasks, she looked with dread at the holo screen contemplating her own task. Her call to Tan was not going to be pleasant.

* * *

"Aah!" She heard the yelp and a clanking of metal as she rounded the corner of the ramp to check on Gil and the repairs.

Her call with the director had lasted far too long for her tired mind and when he was finally satisfied with her report her back and knees ached and the allure of a long nap was all the more tempting. 

_ Check on the repairs _ then _ you can rest. _She bargained with herself.

Another curse came from above. "Damn it! I’m done with this hunk of junk!" It was definitely Liam.

"Everything okay up there?" Sara called out.

More clanking of metal. "No! No it's not!"

"He can repair rusted earth cars but can't do shit with a poly-melder." Gil disgruntled voice called down.

"Lexi says you should take a break. I brought some water and nutrient-bars." She announced.

After some scrambling and unbuckling, she soon saw the two riding the angara lift down from their perch on top the Tempest.

"Thanks Ryder." Liam barely said before gulping down his water.

"How's she looking?" She settled on a crate by the engineer who was wiping his sweaty, oil smeared face.

"She'll make it, it just might take a little longer than I first thought. That damn Scourge not only tore the ship a new one, but it fired all the localized systems." He winced when he wiped too close to his bandaged forehead.

"Do we have what we need to replace everything?" She asked between bites of her own crumpling bar.

"Not really, but I can cut a few corners to get us home in one piece. Just don't tell Kallo."

"How do you still have hands? Look at this! They’re going to be bloody stumps before we're through." Liam cried pulling at a busted and bleeding blister.

"I'll help out here Liam. Go inside for a bit." Sara sighed knowing her nap probably wasn’t going to happen. _ Just hold out a little longer. _

"Really? Oh you’re a lifesaver."

He inhaled the last of his rations then quickly disappeared into the ship before Gil could call him back.

Said engineer dug her out a spare stained jumpsuit to pull on, got her harnessed up, then set her to work on top the ship. He only had to give a quick demonstration before he realized she knew her way around the equipment and left her to her work.

The air had been pleasant earlier but now, with the sun high and metal under her, her thick suit quickly began heating up. She was almost relieved when she had to remove the thick paneling and drop down into the insulated cavity to continue the repairs.

"That was pretty crazy, huh?" The engineer called from his side of the ship. 

"It's been a pretty crazy day Gil. You'll have to be a little more specific." That earned a laugh from him.

"You know, getting ambushed by those homicidal fish-faces and scraping by a cloud of death."

"Yeah, that was pretty crazy." She agreed as she tried reaching a stubborn wire that was melted to a line casing.

"I don't know how you do it. You just started shouting orders and… I don't know… you just… could still function. I was frozen until you came over the coms. I was terrified."

"I think we all were." She abandoned the wire to look at the engineer as she heard the regret in his voice.

"What, even the _ legendary _ Sara Ryder?"

"You must know some other Sara Ryder cause this one’s _ far _from legendary." She chuckled as she wiped sweat from her eye. 

Though they had already been together for a little over a month, Sara hadn’t really gotten to speak much with her crew- and she was still getting use to _ that _ idea. She knew their files, their records, and miscellaneous data SAM dug up for her, but aside from knowing that Cora tended to leave her left side open and that Vetra was prone to relying on her scanner too much, Sara didn’t have any real desire to. She was actively avoiding the others from the first Pathfinding team, their pitying stares and too soft words left her skin crawling and with the steep learning curve that came with her new position, she just hadn’t had the time to try with the others.

There were a few exceptions though.

Aside from Vetra’s silent understand and Suvi’s kind words, Sara had found an unapologetic friend in Gil.

By no means did Sara consider herself antisocial. Quiet sometimes, sure, but never outright unfriendly. She would speak when spoken to but was content to remain silent otherwise. A fact her talkative engineer had learned and respected. He’d maintained a delicate balance of not shying away from her feelings while not pushing her beyond what she was comfortable with. 

“Did Alic train you for this sort of thing or did you do something before all this?“ 

She waved her hand flippantly, glad to hear the worry gone from his voice. “A bit of both, I suppose. Alic insisted on training me and my brother growing up, which I guess worked out well.” She shrugged trying to sound dismissive as she rubbed at her scarred knuckles under her glove. “I later got hired on by a Prothenain research team as a language consultant but then pulled double duty when they found out that I was competent in a fight.”

He hummed in amusement. “I’m sure there’s a fun story there.”

“Maybe after a few drinks, Mr. Brodie.” She said dismissively.

“I honestly didn’t take you for the type.”

Sara frownd. “And what’s that supposed to mean.”

“Nothing. Just read you wrong is all.” He laughed as her frown deepened. “Relax. I’ve been pleasantly surprised is all I mean.”

“And just what _ type _did you think I was?”

“Honestly, I wasn’t sure at first, but I definitely didn’t picture swapping Milky Way stories over a beer when I first saw you in the loading bay.”

Sara humphed. “Considering the day I’d just had, I’m not surprised.” She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “Sorry. I shouldn't joke about that.” She apologized for souring the mood.

He shrugged it off. “I’m not one to judge. Everyone copes with grief in different ways. If this is how you talk it out then that’s fine. Don’t have to apologize for that.”

The corner of her lips quirked in an almost smile. A small thank you.

Gil opened his mouth but then snapped it shut when something on the docks below drew his attention. He nudged her side with the toe of his boot, luckily not the one with her healing rib, and discreetly nodded towards the entrance of the hanger. There at the top of the stairs, a small group had gathered and were openly staring at them and whispering to each other.

"Um… Ryder I think you have company."

Gil's nervous voice was a welcomed distraction as she dropped what she was doing and popped her head up.

"Shit! He's early." Following his line of sight, she saw the magenta angara push his way past the rubberneckers and descend the steps towards them. He hadn't seen them yet so she took a moment to study him without being caught.

He seemed average in height and build, compared to the rest of his people, but his flamboyant coloring stood out among the more cool tones she'd seen. The folds around his face seemed fleshy and she was immensely curious if they had any biological function. He wore black leathery armor under a brilliantly blue layer that flowed behind him as he walked. As he drew closer, she could make out his eyes staring in awe at the Tempest and his mouth just barely hanging open.

At least he had good taste in spacecrafts.

"Just a moment! I'll be down as soon as I can!" She called down to him and saw him jump just a bit.

She cleaned up the hole she'd finished repairing and quickly replaced its cover.

Gill waved her away saying, "Go on. I'll finish reattaching it."

"Thanks. I'll send someone up to help you." Coaxing the lift to lower her back down, she frantically tried wiping the grease off her gloves with a rag Gil had slipped her. _ Great, of course he'd be early _ , she huffed in frustration. She had hoped to clean up and catch a nap before meeting again but it looked like she'd get neither. _ Well, let's hope he doesn't mind the smell of grease. _

* * *

Jaal walked up the steps to the conservatory as the late afternoon sun warmed his back. Most of his supplies had been seen to by Evfra and the few personal items he kept at his humble apartment had fit easily in the pack he had slung over his shoulder. He had spent the majority of his day walking through Aya's streets and visiting his favorite spots. He was savoring the view and lingered longer than he normally would, indulging himself before being spirited away by these strange aliens.

He didn't regret volunteering to go with them but his silent walking had given his mind time to conjure enough horrible scenarios to make his gut twist itself into an anxious knot.

He pictured walking into their beautiful ship only to be held down and cut open or broken for information. He pictured being woken in the middle of the sleep cycle with them standing over him while his body laid paralyzed beneath them, his lungs slowly failing to work. Each scene grew more grotesque as he pictured new creative ways to die.

_ That is enough _ ! His nervous current popped over his skin. _ This is not one of your brothers' nighttime stories! You are a Resistance soldier! If they become threatening, you will handle them. _Squaring his shoulders, he walked with more confidence through the conservatory's wide doors.

His sister was fairly easy to find as he made his way to the back room where only the staff were allowed. She was hunched over a desk, fine brushes in hand as she was meticulously cleaning a dusty artifact.

He gave a soft knock on the open door as he entered. “Do you have a moment, Lup?”

“_ Yallaon!” _ She smiled up at him, a smudge of dirt on her lavender cheek. “I always have a moment for you. I’m surprised you could make it over here, though. The headquarters must be swarming right now.”

She set aside her project and gestured to a cleared chair across from her sending him a pulse of happiness.

He chuckled and took it. “It very much is, but I wanted to see you before I left.”

“Evfra has you leaving again? You just got back.”

“I know, but this must be done.”

She gave a defeated sigh. “Is there anything you can tell me about it this time?”

“Uh… well…” he nervously rubbed his mantle. This was the part he was dreading.

“Oooo! Is it a secret?” Her current was playful and curious.

“Not… particularly. It’s just that…” She raised her brow ridge questioning. “I’ve... been… assigned to travel with the Initiative aliens as a temporary envoy.”

The room fell silent. His younger sister was staring at him, mouth gaping, her current still.

“Now it’s not-”

“Jaal Ama Darav! Have you gone mad?” She jumped from her seat, her current snapping in panicked disbelief. “You’re going _ with _them?”

“Lup, calm down-” He sent soothing waves to her.

“No! This is crazy! _ You’re _ being crazy! How can Evfra just let them take you?” Her hands flew wildly around her. “You can’t do this! I’m not going to let you!”

“I know this sounds bad and you have every right to be scared-”

“_ Scared _?” She shreeked. “I’m furious at your stupidity!”

“Listen.” He stood up and finally caught her hands. “We do not have any other choice. If we kill them, we lose a potential ally against the Kett. We need to know what they are capable of and if they can be trusted.”

“But-”

“We can not risk Evfra, Paraan’s delegates can not defend themselves if things go bad, and anyone of a lower rank would be an insult. I know what I am risking. I will not be reckless.”

She stilled and searched his eyes. She must have found what she was looking for as she gave an exasperated sigh and leaned into him. He wrapped his arms tightly around her.

“We’ve lost so many already.” Her voice was small and he felt like he was a child again, comforting his sister after another loved one went missing. “I don’t want to lose you too.”

It was so easy to let sorrow and grief take hold of his heart and drown in it. He had sat in agony too much as a young man and, in his quieter moments, he could feel the weight begin to settle in again. He mourned when he could and knew the dead couldn’t hold his attention for too long. The living needed him more.

“I will come back.” His soft current washed over them as he rubbed small circles on her back. “Our Mother would track me down and lock me away if I was in any _ true _danger.”

She gave a wet chuckle as she pulled away, wiping at her eyes. “She would.” Lup weakly settled back into her seat. “What did she have to say about your insane journey?”

“Uh… well…” He looked guiltily away.

“By the stars, you haven’t told her yet.” She breathed. “She’s going to throttle you.”

He groaned. “I know.”

“Then _ actually _lock you away.”

“_ I know _.”

A smile stretched across her face as she leaned forward. “It's so bizarre seeing _ you _ hide things from her.” Her giddy field crackled

“Please do not say anything to her. I will message her, I just do not know what to tell her just yet.”

“You better do it soon. You know she hears everything.”

He let out an exhausted sigh. “I will.”

A blue angara popped her head through the door. “Lup, do you have that- oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you had company.”

“It’s okay Lawh. Just give me a sec.” She turned back to him apologetically. “I’m sorry, do you mind if I take care of this real quick?”

“No, you are fine. It’s getting late anyways. I just did not want to board without seeing you first.” He stood and throw his bag over his shoulder.

“I would never forgive you if you did.” She huffed as she wrapped her arms around him one last time. “You better come back.”

“I promise I will.” He squeezed her back. “Stay strong.”

“Stay clear.” She returned.

He left the conservatory before he talked himself out of boarding.

The walk to the port was short but the closer he got, the more crowded the streets became. He pushed his way through, nodding at the guards that kept the onlookers back as he passed, and continued through the deserted bays. 

Rounding the corner to the last dock, he gasped as the aliens’ ship came into view. He barely acknowledged the posted soldiers as he descended the steps, mouth open in awe.

Now up close, he could truly marvel at its sleek design. Black and red stripes broke up its white body in long strokes that guided his eyes along its slim hull. He could see charred paneling and gaping tears in its side, wounds proving that they survived not only their encounter with the kett but their audacious escape though the Scourge as well. Not many of their own pilots could brag about navigating the deadly cloud, he felt a little better knowing he would be flying with such a skilled aviator. 

"Just a moment! I'll be down as soon as I can!" He jumped as a familiar voice shouted from the top of the ship.

He took a long steady breath. This was it.

Jaal watched as the Pathfinder’s odd shape was lowered by the dock’s lift.

“Sorry about the mess. I wasn’t expecting you to arrive so soon.” She apologized as she jumped down from the bucket, stuffing a grease soiled rag into her pocket. She was wearing an oil stained jumpsuit, its design eerily similar to ones he’d seen the dock’s mechanics wear, and a large black smudge streaked along her cheek. He thought she was a mediator, did she have some sort of engineer training? Perhaps human leaders had training in multiple fields. That was an interesting idea. “We still have quite a bit of work left to do, but if you want, I could go ahead and get you settled or if you still have some business to do in town-”

“I would like to settle my things if it is acceptable.” Jaal nervously adjusted the strap of his bag. He was about to school his uneasy field when he realized it was pointless. These aliens couldn’t feel it and that sent a flood of relief through him. One less thing to worry about keeping in check.

“Of course.” She nodded in understanding. “I always feel better on a new ship once I know where I’m staying.” She led him up the lowered ramp. “Follow me please.”

Measuring his steps to match her shorter strides, he followed her into the ship, blinking at the change of light.

“This is the cargo bay,” she gestured at the wide room. He saw various crates and equipment lining the walls and an impressive ground vehicle his fingers twitched to take apart. “Storage is there in the back.” She waves to the doors behind them. “And you’ll find-“

“Ryder! I thought I heard you!” A cheerful voice shouted from above as a blue alien leaned dangerously over the railing. “Is Gil done with yo- oh!”

He was shocked to see a completely different looking being smile down at them. Her skin was a more familiar blue but where the Pathfinder’s odd head ended with tied back fibers, her head smoothed back into tendrils. “He’s here already?”

“Peebee…” The Pathfinder sighed tiredly. “Jaal, this is Peebee our-”

“-leading expert of all things remnet.” She bowed with a flourish then gave a mischievous grin to her leader. “You said he was big but you didn’t say he was _ this _ big. _ Woof _!” 

He didn’t know if he should be flattered or concerned when her eyes then raked up and down his body.

“Uh… it is a pleasure to meet you.” He finally said.

“Oh no, believe me, the pleasures all mine.”

“Thank you, Peebee.” The Pathfinder shot her a dismissive look. “Gil could use some help up top is you have some free time.”

“Oh sorry, Ryder. Kallo’s calling.” The beautiful alien waved then disappeared with one final wink aimed at him.

“She’s mostly harmless with her flirting,” The human explained as she rubbed her temple as he would if a head-splitter was coming on. “but if she does anything to make you uncomfortable she’ll stop if you ask her.” 

He thought that was an odd thing to assure him about. If this Peebee had an interest in him, was it not expected to be said and then dealt with between them? Were alien captains expected to mediate crew relationships? Was this to insure a peaceful crew? The Pathfinder seem quite dismissive about it and was eager for her crewmate to leave. Perhaps they had been given similar orders as him and were to keep some distance.

She continued leading him through the ship. She pointed out the medbay, the galley, and the crew’s quarters. 

Gesturing to the large bunks, she said, “We set this one up for you. We have some extra modding pillows if you need them. We keep them stocked for Vetra and Drack, but if you need something different I’ll see what we can do to get it.” The Pathfinder explained. “If you want to drop off your things and see the rest of the ship we can continue, or if you want a moment to settle your belongings I can give you your privacy and we can continue later.”

He thought about it for a moment then asked to continue touring the ship. While he had the energy, he wanted to make sure he had the layout of the ship and note possible dangers before settling his bunk. 

_ I will not be caught unprepared. _

The tour continued as she introduced him to two more humans, a darker skinned man who smiled brightly at him and a paler woman who was crisp and formal. He then met another beautiful blue skinned alien, an asari, who he learned was their doctor and the large eyed, youthful salarian pilot.

The Pathfinder talked as they walked. She explained chores the crew rotated through, where message terminals were, and when dinner was served should he wish to join them.They were exiting a very promising tech lab when they were met by two aliens that made his blood run cold.

“Vetra, Drack, great timing. I’ve been introducing Jaal here to the crew.” The human turned to him and then gestured between the two platted aliens.

Their hardened layers weren’t the same bone white as the Kett, but the similarity was unnerving. “This is our smu- supply manager,” she then turned to the much angrier one. “- and this is our… chief.”

A strange rumbling, like rocks rolling down a hill, came from the alien and he was afraid he’d been displeased somehow, but then his eyes squinted and his lips stretched.

He was laughing. 

“Ha, chief! I like it, Ryder.” The bulky alien hummed amused then turned its piercing yellow eyes to him. “At least he looks like he can fight. Glad there wasn't another pink, squishy species to get under foot.”

It was the Pathfinder’s turn to chuckle. Before she could reply, he turned and waved dismissively as he walked away.

He didn’t know what was going on. Without a current to read, he wasn’t sure if this was meant to be a biting conversation or one to be taken in jest. Their tone was broad and flat but their words seemed unkind to him. He had a feeling that he’d be confused for a while.

“How far are you and Gill with the hull?” The taller one, Vetra, asked.

“The platings easy to meld on, it’s just that the Scourge fired most of our systems.” She sighed. “If you’re not doing anything at the moment, would you mind checking on him.” She pointed to the ceiling. 

“Consider it done.” The new alien’s voice hummed as an odd rumbling sound came from her chest. She gave a swiping gesture to her cheek then walked away.

The Pathfinder turned to look at her reflection in the polished metal then cursed under her breath as she furiously wiped at her face with her soiled sleeve. 

“Okay,” She cleared her throat, irritation lining her words. “Just a few rooms left.”

They continued on.

* * *

After touring the rest of the ship, eating a quick dinner alone, and watching the aliens settle in for the night, Jaal laid wake in his new bunk unable to silence his racing mind. The ship still sat in Aya’s port and he could walk out at any moment, but he steeled himself to test his new living space.

He’d written his mother a quick message assuring her that he was well and not to worry if he was irregular with communications. Leaving out the details of his mission wasn’t going to get him any favors, but he wasn’t sure what to tell her. He was still trying to sort it out himself.

The muffled footsteps, the clanking of metal above him, and the soft snores of his new crewmates around him could almost fool him into believing he was just in another angara crew cabin. He had been relieved at first when they couldn’t read his current, but now he was realizing how empty the air felt without other waves crashing against his own. Everything they said just felt so much… _ flatter _than his fellow angaras’ and he was beginning to doubt his ability to share quarters with such silence. 

As quietly as his large frame would allow, he crept out of the sleeping quarters and tried to remember his way to the galley from his mental map. 

He was tempted to message Evfra to pull him out of this assignment. It would be easy, but what then? Return with a shaky field and admit that he couldn’t bare all this alienness? No. This was his chance to prove his worth. To prove that he was more than just a good shot or a patient trainer. To prove that he could stand without the Ama Darav name paving his path. He would endure.

He was so caught up in steeling his thoughts he didn’t notice that the galley lights were already on and the soft shuffling of movement could be heard from inside. So when he rounded the corner, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he almost stepped on top of the red fringed science officer.

“Good heavens!” She shrieked as she jumped back clutching her chest. It wasn’t such a blow to his pride having not been the only one surprised. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you come in.”

“I apologize for startling you. I was not paying attention.” He said taking a step back.

“It’s quite alright. I just popped in here to grab the workers a little snack.” She nodded upwards. “Is there anything I can help you with while I’m here?” Her soft voice made it too easy for him to lower his guard. He had to watch himself.

“I just needed some water.” It wasn’t a complete lie.

“Oh, of course dear. The cups are right over there.” She pointed a spindly finger at the cabinets. “Anything else you need?”

“Thank you, but no.” He made it past her to retrieve a glass.

“Are you sure? I heard you tossing and turning in there. Are you comfortable?”

“Yes I-” He said when her earnest eyes caught his. “Well… it is just very… strange being on an alien ship. I am still taking it all in.” He carefully said, hoping he didn’t sound rude or ungrateful.

“Ahh, yes. I’m sure this all must be _ very _ strange for you. I remember how scared _ I _ was the first time I was stationed on a ship and that was at least a _ human _vessel.” She nodded in understanding.

“Yes, and the crew's quarters are very different from what I am use to. Not that they are not accommodating.” He hurried to correct himself. Even if he was on an alien ship, he didn’t want to offend his hostess. 

“It must be strange trying to sleep among so much _ newness _. Would you feel better if you were set up in a different room?”

He paused at her offer. “I do not want to impose…”

“Nonsense! You’re not imposing. Vetra’s taken up a corner in one of the storage rooms and Peebee’s made a space in the escape pod.” She waved away his concern. “I’m sure Ryder won’t mind you moving into the tech lab. There’s a nice spot in the back too.”

He hummed in thought. “If you are sure it is okay…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’ll be more action in the next few chapters, but I wanted to get a feel for Jaal and Sara’s personalities first and build up a tentative working relationship.  
I’ve changed some canon dates and backstory for Sara to better fit her character here so I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts on that. I’ve always enjoyed it when authors take some creative liberty with their fics but that always comes with its own set of challenges.  
But what do you think? Are you pro canon or pro head canon? Let me know in the comments.


	3. Chapter 3

Sara slumped in her chair with an exhausted sigh. Her left hand stung from blisters while her shoulders felt pinched and overworked. They had finally finished patching up the Tempest and had gotten her in the air by the time Aya’s sky had begun to lighten. Sara skipped her usual ritual of watching their takeoff to drag herself to the showers and then to bed. She was able to sleep a handful of hours before her dreams turned dark and she woke drenched with sweat. 

_ The sickly green sky was blurry as her blood and sweat stung her eyes. The broken glass of her helmet created jarring lines and shards of miscolored atmosphere. _

_ She couldn’t breath. _

_ She lied crumpled there, mouth opening and closing like a fish. When she finally did suck in a lung full of air, it stung all the way down her throat. _

Images kept flashing through her mind as she tried to focus on breathing rather than the phantom pain that clutched her chest. Her hands shook and beads of sweat rolled down her face. Memories crashed into her, drowning her in cold horror as the room was washed away.

_ The air tasted like bile and her hands fumbled around to try to find something- anything to save her. She painfully rolled her broken body over and pulled herself through the dirt. _

_ She tried so hard to shout- to cry out for help, but her voice didn’t work and her vision was beginning to go black. _

_ Sara was dying. _

“Pathfinder, your blood pressure is rising and I’m detecting a high level of cortisol in your system.” SAM’s terminal flickered to life. “Do you require Dr. T’perro?”

“No, SAM. I’m fine. It was just a bad dream.” She assured the AI, her voice too ragged and breathy. “How far out are we?” She focused on the intricate pattern of SAM’s interface as the hologram lit up her desk. She needed something to ground her mind.

“We will arrive in three hours and forty minutes.”

“Who’s all awake?” She stood and shook out her clenched hands.

“Only Kallo Jath.”

“Thank you, SAM.”

Steering her thoughts away from her dreams, she settled on musing about the symbiotic AI as she took advantage of the empty showers.

She had been outraged and embarrassed when her father’s scandal finally came to light. He had been quick to justify it, claiming the whole project was for their mother, for her recovery, but Sara had her doubts. 

Alic, who had spent years creating this “groundbreaking_ ” _program, missing birthdays, graduations, and countless family meals, had been disgraced. He had known the laws and the dangers, yet still… Alic Ryder did as he pleased. Consequences be damned.

He had been knocked from his pedestal and the man had been desperate for support, or as desperate as the proud soldier could be. He had tried to justify his actions, presented his case to his children and had fished for their understanding. 

She could still hear the hollow the click of the terminal as she hung up on him.

Now in Andromeda, SAM was integrated with her in ways she tried not to think about. He certainly had his uses though, her biotics were more powerful, her body performed spectacularly, and her reflexes were sharp and lethal. He was the reason she was here and not a cold rotting corpse back on Habitat 7. She just didn’t feel comfortable with what this new upgrade had cost her.

Not only did he have a constant eye on her, but her life was now tethered to his. If SAM were to be hacked or physically destroyed… the steaming water suddenly felt cold. 

She liked life to be simple. She liked knowing where her weaknesses were so she could accommodate for them. This new unpredictable variable made her nervous. This wasn’t a person she could watch and study, she couldn’t note the subtle changes in his face to tell if he was lying. He was data and coding, not flesh and emotions. 

She was surprised when a small chuckle left her as she turned off the water.

_ Scott would love this. _

Her brother would be simply giddy at the opportunity to talk to the synthetic conscious about its learning parameters and other tech jargon she never quite understood. When her brother began babbling about his new coding projects or the latest firewall he’d cracked she’d just nod and try and not seem too dazed. Few things could get her reclusive brother so animated and excited, it seemed only fair that she at least _ try _to keep up with the few words she could understand. 

_ I’ll have to ask what he makes of all this when I get back. _ Her hand stilled in her damp hair. _ Oh...right... _The quiet slaps of her wet feet echoed in the empty room as she finished drying off and redressed. She had planned to grab her morning rations on her way back to her quarters but her stomach suddenly churned too much to think about food.

As she entered her cabin, her terminal interface lit up and gave a small chirp. She had a waiting vid call.

Draping the towel around her neck, she settled back in her chair and was pleasantly surprised when she saw the name of the sender. With a quick flick of her wrist, the pixels rearranged into the long leathery face of the head of the science department.

_ “Doctor Herik!” _ Sara switched to sur’kesh. _ “It’s so nice to hear from you.” _

She knew it was a pointless jester, what with the translators, but she enjoyed stretching her linguistic muscles every now and again. Plus, she suspected the old salarian enjoyed it as much as she did.

Yes! This is what she needed to break up her dark mood.

_ “And you as well Sara.” _His large black eyes squinted as he smiled.

_ “How has the team been?” _

_ “Busy now, thanks to your data but it’s so nice to have something to do again.” _ He sighed in relief. _ “Actually, Lucan asked me to let you know he’s completed some project you’d given him?” _

_ “Really? I didn’t think it’d be done so soon.” _

_ “And you really do owe me for having to deal with those idiots down at Storage.” _

Sara chuckled at his putout tone. _ “I’m sorry. Did they give you much trouble over the lock boxes?” _

_ “No more than usual, it just took some convincing. You and Scot’s are waiting for you in the labs.” _

Sara nervously chewed at her cheek_ . “I’m sorry I had to ask you to run my errands, but when I heard about the thefts I-” _

_ “No need to explain. I would worry too.” _The salarian reassured.

_ “Thank you, I’ll stop by when I get a chance. It might be a while though, I’ve got a couple Pathfinder things to take care of first.” _

_ “Yes, I figured as much. I received an obnoxious notice about a ceremony.” _ He sniffed. _ “A waste of time and resources just to but on a pretty show.” _

She slumped in her chair. _ “I tried to talk them out of it.” _

_ “Apparently your advice has been unheaded.” _

_ “This is going to be a nightmare. _” She rubbed her temple.

The year of training the departments had to go through before launching had made her nervous. She had been shuffled and reassigned many times thanks to her father's insistence of her combat competence and her scholarly qualifications. She had trained with the reconnaissance team, the diplomatic team, the xenotranslantation team- only to be reassigned two months later. Her father said it was just them trying to find the best place for her and her abilities and that she had nothing to be anxious about. He’d make the same offer after that, join him and Scot on the Pathfinder team but her answer was always the same- no. 

With each reassignment, she had to play catch up with an already established group and try to wedge herself into their dynamics. Once again, she was the outsider.

It was six months before the launch date when Sara walked into Dr.Herik’s lab with low expectations. She operated on autopilot at first, not bothering to put any real effort into learning their names as she floated from station to station doing her job and nothing more. She was polite and helpful but she made sure she kept to herself. She was going to be gone soon anyways so why should she bother with pleasantries? 

Herik allowed her to keep this up for a week before intervening. He began loitering around her desk trying to get more than just a one word response out of her. He had been relentless in trying to pry her from her solitude and she slowly let him. More of the team caught on to the doctor’s plan and Sara’s station soon became a regular stop in everyone’s schedule. Her days became a comfortable flow of translating documents, office small talk, and catching up with her coworker’s lives over lunch. She didn’t even notice that six months had gone by until she was called in for her final health check. They were leaving for a new galaxy and she was officially part of the Science and Research team.

Sara had happily slipped into her cryo pod, finger tips drumming with excitement at the future that awaited her on the other side of her long nap and her place within it.

* * *

She pulled the front of her shirt down, trying to smooth out a few stubborn wrinkles as she walked down the hallway. The Tempest was now alive with the sound of its crew bustling around, rushing to get through their morning routines. 

Side stepping a dripping Peebee who had just a towel wrapped around her, Sara walked into the crew’s cabin only to stop short when she saw Jaal’s bunk stripped and the magenta alien nowhere to be seen. The sound of fabric moving pulled her attention as she saw her freshly put together science officer finish tidying her bunk.

“Good morning.” Sara greeted.

“Oh, hello Ryder.” The red head flashed her a pleasant smile. “You’re looking quite lovely this morning.”

Sara nervously inspected herself in the slim wall mirror. “Do you think so? I wasn’t really sure what to do for a ceremony like this. We don’t really have any dress uniforms.” She patted down her Initiative issue shirt and fluffed her bangs again.

“Yes, I think you look very respectable.” 

“Thank you.” Sara gave the long room one last scan. “Have you seen Jaal?”

Suvi shook her head. “Sorry, but I haven’t seen him this morning. He’s probably still in the tech lab.”

_ Why would he be up there? _

Sara left with a thanking wave and started making her way up the levels. 

Before Jaal had arrived, she and SAM had had a long talk. She had instructed the AI to keep a close eye on the angara and to monitor all transmissions that he sent and received, track his movement for any signs of violence, and to keep all the doors to her more private crew’s rooms locked during the sleep cycle. She would accommodate him to her best ability but he was still a threat. He had a small blade hidden on him that she didn’t acknowledge but Sara was confident in her ground team’s ability to take care of themselves. For added measure, she had given SAM specific orders to keep a particularly close eye on the others should anything happen.

If the concealed weapon put him at ease, she would take full advantage of the stilted information. Her father had always said that the greatest weapon you could wield was knowledge and it became even more dangerous when your enemy didn’t know you possessed it. 

The angara could keep his dagger but Sara was no fool. She was under no disillusion as to why he was flying with them; they had seen the angara’s hidden city and should they pose a threat, he would ensure the secret died with them. He was a killswitch. 

Sara stepped into the tech lab as the sleek doors parted. A long metallic workbench and cluttered shelving lined the right wall while storage crates sat piled up on the left. The artificial lighting gleamed off the various tools she had left out during her last adjustment. Movement in the back of the room drew her eyes and her brows pinched together in a scowl.

A half wall created a little privacy for a smaller workbench that was now lined with what looked like an angara communication terminal and other alien devices. A thick, oddly shaped sleeping mat had been laid out and was now neatly made against the back wall as smaller storage crates made a makeshift seating area around it. The alien envoy she was looking for was sitting, back turned towards her, on one of the larger boxes, rubbing oil into the crests along his head. 

_ I guess he’s made himself a comfortable hideaway _ , she thought with irritation. Sara stepped further inside the lab hoping the setup wasn’t permanent. She enjoyed the quiet, secluded lab when she had to work and didn’t look forward to doing the corrections with an audience. The inconvenience was annoying but she could understand him wanting his own space. She remembered the crave to claim _ something _as her own when she was a young, scared child on the very alien Citadel. 

She let out a slow breath. It was a loss but she needed him to feel comfortable on her ship and if this helped him adjust, then it was a loss she could afford. 

Softening her face, she took a few steps forward.

“How are you settling in?” She called out.

“_ Skutt!” _ He yelped as he jumped, sending a few small bottles clattering to the floor. He whirled around, stared her down with his large, startled eyes. “Pathfinder!” He finally addressed her.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” She rushed to say. She hadn’t been quiet entering the lab and she certainly didn’t want to put him on edge. 

“No- no, I was not paying attention.” He nervously smoothed out his poncho as he took a few too many steps to meet her. “I hope this-” he gestured to his nook, “is acceptable. Officer Suvi suggested the space.”

_ Of course she did. _

“I don’t mind you moving here.” She craned her neck back to look at him. “It _ is _a public lab though. You can lock the door during sleep cycles if you want, but it’ll have to stay open for the crew the rest of the time.” Sara tried to explain without sounding rude. She had given similar speeches to Peebee and Vetra and it wouldn’t be fair if their new guest was given special treatment.

“Of course.” He nodded in understanding.

A heavy silence fell between them. Normally it wouldn’t bother her, all conversations had their natural lulls, but the way his enormes blue eyes stared at her… it made her feel too exposed.

“Were our quarters that different?” She tentatively asked to fill the too heavy air and because she was curious. 

“Hum… yes.” Was his short reply.

“... how so?” 

“Are you asking for the layout of our sleeping quarters?” His accusing tone was back.

Sara tried to not let her unease show.

“Only to know if there was a… deficiency in ours.”

Her answer seemed to satisfy him. “Ah. There was not.”

He was not making this easy or comfortable. She wanted him to feel safe enough to be able to exchange conversations and maybe learn a little more about him and the angara but… he seemed content with his quiet staring.

“... What were you doing before?” She nodded at the fallen bottles grasping for anything to get him to talk.

“I was preparing for this… sacrament I have been informed of.”

“Oh! I was actually looking for you so I could go over a few things before we docked.”

“That would be… welcomed.” He nodded politely.

Her neck was already straining from looking up at him. She was afraid that stepping back would be taken as a cultural misstep and wasn’t sure if he’d take offence. “We’ll publicly meet with the Nexus leaders. The director will say a few words-” she pushed down the urge to roll her eyes, “- then you’ll be able to tour the station. Liam will show you around the port district but that’s as far as your clearance goes. Security doesn't want you wandering around for… safety reasons.”

“...I understand.” He seemed to ponder this but gave an accepting nod anyway.

Perhaps he was nervous about the Nexus or just her being here. He seemed full of questions when she had first shown him the ship but now it felt like she was pulling responses from him. Sara didn’t enjoy doing it and she doubted he enjoyed being on the receiving end of it. 

She’d have to try again when he was feeling more talkative.

“I have some matters to see to after the ceremony, but I’m just a call away should you need me.” She taped her omnitool, identical to the one around his wrist and began taking a shuffling step towards the door. “We’re still a few minutes out if there’s anything you need to finish up.” She could finally breathe as she put some comfortable distance between them.

Jaal nodded. “I will be ready before your ship docks.” He assured.

Turning on her heels to leave and finish her own prepping, a nagging thought made her hesitated as she got to the door.

She had been so careful with her tone and words when she was around him knowing she was representing the Initiative and knowing this needed to work. The scholarly side of her was praising her poised demeanor but the side that empathizes for the man… reminded her how far small kindnesses went.

_ You’re the Pathfinder, but can’t you still be Sara? _

She gripped the frame as she thought about what she’d say to him if her position was just a little different… if Alic was still alive and she was where she should have been… 

“I… I tried to keep this small but the station is really excited about meeting you.” She apologized as she turned to catch his eye. "Just... try to keep in mind that after everything with the kett… you're how the 'first contact' was supposed to go. It's given them hope… that if this can go right then... maybe… everything else can too."

Sara met his eye and saw something- she didn’t know what- pass over them. 

They were both silent as she finally exited the lab. 

Sara hadn’t been thrilled about this whole escapade from the start and definitely wasn’t feeling any better about it as they docked and she lead her crew up to a stiff, smiling woman. From her uniform to her facial features, this young attendant was a walking checklist of textbook appeals. Smooth, pulled back hair that looked clean and professional, check. Large doe eyes that were easy to trust, check. A crisp uniform that was, not so subtlety, the Initiative's colors, a pure white and a calming, trustful blue, check.

She fought down a bubble of laughter. Whoever put this, clearly uncomfortable, girl together was obviously only minding human physiological cues. If a turien was meeting the attendant they’d see an aggressive and frankly arrogant display while a krogen would take it as a territorial challenge. 

If their shaky alliance remained unbroken by the time she could get the Tempest off the ground again, she’d ask Jaal what his thoughts of the woman were. She was immensely curious now.

“Hello and welcome to the Nexus.” The stiff girl gave a little bow but didn’t quite resist staring at the new alien. “If you would just follow me I’ll get you in positioned for the welcoming ceremony. Pathfinder Ryder, if you would.” The greeter waved her forward.

The girl had made it through half of her crew before Sara heard her say, “That is all we need. I’ll show your group where you can stand to watch.”

Vetra, Drack, and Peebee were being waved to the side. Sara was moving towards the girl before any of them could take a step.

“I think there’s been some misunderstanding. They’re part of my crew as well.” Sara gently clarified.

“This is Pelessaria B’Sayle, Vetra Nyx, and Nakmor Drack?” She seemed panicked as she pulled up her omniscreen. 

“Yes, that is correct but-” 

“Wonderful!” She sighed in relief. “Director Tann instructed that a portion of the crew be seated.”

The girl was sincere in her delivery; her eyes had maintained contact, her voice didn’t waver, and her face didn’t show signs of disgust. Sara didn’t think the woman was being malicious, but she had no doubt that Tann would have hand picked the most presentable members of her crew to parade around. It didn’t look nearly as respectable having a known smuggler, a criminal asari, and a krogen defector on display.

“Did he give a reason?” Sara managed to ask in a level voice.

“I… no.” The poor girl seemed confused.

She suppressed the urge to sigh. “I know you’re just doing your job and I don’t want to get you in any trouble, but I need my _ whole _ crew out there.” Sara said coolly. 

“I’m sorry Pathfinder, but Director Tann insisted-”

“If he’s worried about space I’m more than willing to give up my spot.”

“Ryder…” Drack said almost in warning and her translator picked up Vetra’s disapproving sub vocals.

The attendant paled. “Oh no! The Pathfinder has to be on stage- _ you _have to be on stage! After everything you’ve done- the station won’t have it!” She was panicking now.

“Then how about you line us all up?” Her entire team had gotten them this far and she’d be damned if she remained silent as a ridiculous publicity stunt cheated any of them of their earned recognition. “If the Director is unhappy about it, tell him I authorized it.”

“...Very well.” The girl finally nodded, nervously biting her lip, and began reshuffling them.

“You know that wasn’t necessary.” The old Krogen grumbled beside her.

“If I have to suffer through this circus act, then so do you.” She joked it off with a flip of her hand then went back to her place in line.

She hoped this would be over quickly, there were far more important places she needed to be.

After marching out and taking their spots on the ornate podium, the ceremony became a bit of a blur as Tann wove one overly wordy phase into another after he had sent a disapproving scale her way.

_ We’ll speak of this later, _ it said.

She ignored it as she smiled for the crowd.

But as the speeches began, she suddenly felt her lack of sleep, so she began her game. Sara began mentally tallying up the people in the crowd just to give her mind _ something _ to do. Remembering if she’d already counted the white marked turian was more stimulating than trying to follow Tan’s words. She didn’t handle boredom well and the longer the Director droned on about _ “their shared prosperous future” _ and “ _ their mutually beneficial partnership” _ the harder her smile was to keep on.

She’d endured dull events like this before and she’d come up with a new game to get through them every time. Though back then, her brother was there to help. 

Suddenly the faces in the crowd were less interesting.

The rally ended, after what felt like hours later. The salarian finally gave the crowd one last thing to cheer for before a young asari motioned for them to follow as they were brought off stage. Sara’s mood soured even more when she realized she’d lost count of her tally. 

She ducked behind a tall group of turians before anyone could see her. From her hiding spot, she could see Tann and the other leaders give their full attention to Jaal and knew this was the only chance she was going to get to sneak away unnoticed. 

She hadn't completely lied to Jaal when she said she had matters to see to, she absolutely did, they just weren’t _ official _matters.

Blending in with the flow of the departing crowd, she slowly made her way out of the district and to the tram station without incident. She might be the heralded Pathfinder, but once she was out of the spotlight Sara’s average face was easily forgotten among the crowd. It also didn’t hurt that the news feeds hadn’t caught up yet and the human Pathfinder image hadn’t been updated, but... that was a double edged sword.

She kept her eyes down as she passed the blinking promotional screens. Alec’s ghost haunted her enough, she didn’t need to see his stormy eyes on posters too.

A cramped tram ride later, Sara finally shuffled out onto the Hyperion and navigated her way to the med bay.

The sharp smell of chemicals still made her uneasy but her nerves had a new focus as she passed the row of beds and found the permanently occupied one.

Her brother’s side table was cleared except for a small sample container half filled with red sand, the only real color in this bleak ward. She had silently promised to bring back a little something for him every time she left the station. Sara know how he’d feel once he knew he had missed out on the exploratory missions, and she hoped these trinkets would… give him a piece of it back. 

A ping of guilt twisted her stomach as she realized she came empty handed. Logically, she knew it would have been impossible- or at least recklessly irresponsible- to take anything from Aya, but she couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that she’d let him down, again.

As she neared though, Scott’s familiar face brought a smile to her lips and a prickle to her eyes. He looked so normal. She had almost expected to see his face sunken in and sickly despite her extensive research into the condition and treatments following the accident. She knew Harry was keeping his body healthy while his mind found its way back. The doctor had been kind enough to message her regularly on his condition. There was never anything noteworthy, but the reports made her feel better while she was away.

Speaking of the doctor- “Sara! I wasn’t expecting you to be here for another hour or so. Did the ceremony end early?” Harry Carlyle greeted warmly as he crossed the bay.

“I made good time getting here. Just barely beat the crowd.” Which technically wasn’t a lie.

“Most of the staff got off to see it. Anything of note?” The bearded man asked as he joined her by Scott’s bed.

“Uh...not really, I don’t think.” Nothing had stuck to her. “We had a little misunderstanding with an usher but that got sorted out pretty quickly. Tann just talked forever.” She settled into her seat Harry always left by Scott’s bedside. 

“Attentive as always.”

She rubbed her tired eyes. “There was nothing important. That I can assure you.”

But as she dropped her hand back to her lap, Harry caught her eye and held it, searching. His quiet concentration was unnerving.

“Dr. T’Perro has been sending me some... concerning reports.” Harry’s friendly voice suddenly turned repramancive. She was talking to Dr.Carlyle now.

_ Shit _.

“Harry… I’m _ fine _.” She groaned knowing where this was going. “You both worry too much.”

“It's only because you give us cause to worry. Do you remember the last time you ate or slept a full eight hours?”

“Uh…” She looked away from him.

“Sara, you can’t let these things slip.”

Sara shrugged. “I’ve not had much of an appetite and I’m still getting use to the new clock.” These were weak excuses even to her ears. Harry wasn’t going to buy them.

He sighed. “You've lost a considerable amount of weight and you know that can be very dangerous for a biotic. Sara… have you been talking to Lexi?”

She shrugged again. Sara know what he was asking and dreaded the questions.

“...Sara-”

“I’m still kinda… sorting it out.” She wiped her gloved palm on her pants. “I got to get it figured out for myself first, you know.”

He was silent for a moment then laid his hand on her shoulder. “What you’re going though… I wish I could have spared you- you _ both _from it.” Sara listened as she studied her brother’s face, too cowardly to meet the doctor’s eyes. “What you’ve lost and what you’re now expected to do… you can't force your way through this. Not by yourself. Talk to someone- anyone- and you don’t have to have it figured out. You never will.”

When she didn’t respond he removed his heavy hand and she heard him move away.

“Just think about it, please.” Harry pleaded as he left her to her brother.

She knew they were only looking out for her but she just needed… she didn’t know. Her brother? Her _ mother _ ? _ Guess that won't happen anytime soon _.

She was so tired, but she- the entire Initiative- didn’t have the luxury to just stop. She couldn’t just cry in bed for a week weeping for a father she didn’t know how to mourn and a brother she missed with a crushing ach. Until she had the time, she would force herself to eat and ask Lexi for something to make her sleep. She needed her body to be at peak performance and her mind sharp; that was the only way she was going to make it through this galaxy. 

Laying her head down on her brother’s bed, Sara found his warm hand and laced her fingers through it. Looking up at him, she could almost pretend that he was just over sleeping. His features were relaxed and soften, he seemed so much younger lying there. 

Life had been hard on them both and whereas her scars were carved on the outside, her brothers laid on the inside. He had chased after their father’s dream for them long after she’d let go of it. He had invested so much of his life and identity trying to reach the heights Alic had set that existing had become more of a duty than just _ living _ . She’d watched him push himself past breaking points and snuff out weaknesses until he had finally crafted himself into their father’s vision; it destroyed him when even _ that _ wasn’t good enough.

Sara had learned long ago that Alic could never be pleased. No school grade, no achievement, no physical feat was enough to catch and hold his attention long enough to remind him that they needed his approval. Growing up knowing that you were lacking, being told that you “weren’t there yet”, believing that the universe hinged on your success was hard. 

Now she knew how unfair he had been.

Her illusion ended when the great N7 soldier was off blazing his way through the galaxy while she was left broken in a hospital bed still grieving for their dead mother. He didn’t care that Scott was nearly killing himself on Earth trying to rise through the navy or about his secret mental breakdowns. It wasn’t Alic on the other end of the vidcall with Scott talking him down and keeping him together. I was her.

And now she was left to pick up the pieces _ again _.

_ I really need you Scotty. Please wake up. _

* * *

Jaal was in awe as he took in the aliens’ space station. Clean white walls rose to form towering buildings and structures while wide pathways formed the network of the ground levels. Artificial lighting gave the illusion of a day cycle and only made its angular city shimmer all the more. Though he was restricted to only a small portion of the station, as he followed Liam through the gleaming port, he could see seemingly endless levels. He could only imagine the portions he wasn't seeing. 

The talkative officer led him through the area pointing to odd structures or notable people and then explained their significance. The human man quickly grew on him as he smiled often and laughed easily.

Liam insisted that the blinking storefront that pulsed with music was the only worthwhile place to spend credits and invited Jaal to drink with him and the rest of the crew later that evening. If he had been among his squadron, he wouldn’t have hesitated in accepting such an offer, but he was not. He’d be drinking strange drinks among a crowd of strange aliens. 

He politely declined Liam’s invitation.

The refusal didn’t seem to dim the officer's mood as he continued guiding him through the station.

“Do you always welcome new races with such… demonstrations?” Jaal asked after being shown another small store front.

“Hum… sometimes? Back in the Milky Way, the Galactic Council always tried to encourage smooth first encounters and would celebrate when they could, but… bumping into a whole new race of people isn’t always something you can control.” Liam explained as he lead them to the next site.

“Indeed.”

“We have our protocols and training, but no one can predict how someone’s going to act. When humanity first met alien life we were caught in a three month war over breaking a rule we didn’t even _ know _ about.”

“And did you defeat your enemy?” 

The human bubbled with laughter. “Be careful who you ask that question to. Some cocky bastard might say yes.” Liam rushed on before he could ask what a _ bastard _was or why his question was humorous. “The Council stepped in to mediate before it could get any more violent and allowed humans passage through GC space. Now some other encounters… they didn't end all that well.” The wild fringed man rubbed the back of his head. “Now everyone’s trying to get away from old grudges.”

“Is that why you traveled across dark space?” Jaal looked over his guide’s expressive face. His pointed nose wrinkled, his dark lips stretched and pouted, and his fury brawl ridge dipped and lifted. From what he had seen of the Pathfinder, he’d been afraid all humans had limited expression, but once he began to watch Liam, he was amazed that their faces were just as articulate as an angara’s.

“Me personally? No, not really, but maybe some of the others?”

“Then why _ did _ you make the journey?”

He gave a nervous laugh. “The others probably have better stories than me. I just came because… I believed in it.” Liam must have seen his disbelieving look because the human shrugged and continued. “I just… believed in what the Initiative wanted to do. When I heard about the new beginnings and second chances it could give I wanted to be a part of it.” His dark eyes light up with passion. “That and Alic was _ very _ convincing.”

“And who is that?”

The human let out a booming laugh.

“He’s a legend! Alic is the total package: war hero, genius, political heavyweight and basically the co founder of the whole program.” His face suddenly lost its ecstatic energy. “...or… I guess he _ was _. Damn that’s weird to say.”

_ Ah, a fallen leader. _

“He must have been quite formidable to have gained such praise.” Jaal hoped his sincerity translated.

Liam gave a thin laugh. “Yeah, he was amazing. I wasn’t under his command for long, but he just had this _ way _about him. The man literally created an entire new squadron class just to make a team that could keep us with him! No one but Alic could’ve made the Pathfinder team.” He hummed wistfully.

“He was your patron?” Jaal asked.

“What? I mean, kinda but not really.” Liam chuckled. “He was the first Pathfinder-our Pathfinder.”

Jaal stopped walking. “I do not understand. Is Ryder not your commander? Am I misunderstanding what this title is?”

Liam paused as he considered his answer. “The title of Pathfinder is given to the leader of the pathfinding team- our team. Sara was given the title when Alic died.”

That made sense and explained a few things. He had been observing the crew and had felt a sense of newness from them and from the Pathfinder. The human was still finding her footing, it seemed.

Liam was silent as he let Jaal ponder their conversation. The human didn’t speak up again until he ushered Jaal through a wide, metallic set of doors.

This new building contained a long slanted hallway that had blue, blinking figures of light lining each wall. Only a few people lingered at the displays.

“This is the Cultural Center.” Liam announced as he extended his arms in presentation. “VI displays are housed here as public data catalogs to share history, culture, and other fun facts about the different races.”

Jaal tentatively walked up to a vacant display and marveled at the frozen pixels. The figure was as tall as him but its frame was much leaner. Its face was sharp and angular, very similar to Vetra’s except it’s bottom jaw seemed broader and the spikes on the back of its head were considerably longer.

“It’s an honor to meet you citizen of Andromeda.” Its sudden voice made him jump back. “My people are the turians. It would be a privilege to tell you about them.”

“Fascinating.” Jaal breathed as he regained his composure and stepped back up to it.

The human officer was laughing as he came up behind him. “Sorry, they take some getting use to.”

Jaal searched the display for any icons like the ones he’d learned to operate on his gifted omni-tool. “How do I operate this database?” 

“Just ask it a question.”

And so he did.

* * *

Jaal had lost himself in the stream of knowledge the VI’s provided him and he relished it. He’d jumped from one display to the next then cycled through again when a new thread of information lead him to a new race. He was absolutely fascinated by the different cultures and how they all formed so differently within their own pocket of space, but he began to see the similarities the more questions he asked.

The history each Milky Way species carried was overwhelming and, if he was being honest, he was jealous of them. Compared to the angara’s mere handful of recorded centuries, these aliens knew who they had been and what had made their people what they are today. He had never thought to be embarrassed about his people's lack of history, but he feared that these aliens saw value in heritage and would think less of his for their lack of it.

Shaking his thoughts away, Jaal returned his attention to the asari VI as it continued on, unaware of his lack of attention.

“-and because of our long lifespan- sometimes reaching 1,ooo years of age- we are patient in our decisions, and prefer long-term solutions over short-term gains.”

“They actually have _ that _as a public record?” An outraged voice scuffed beside him making him jump. 

“Pathfinder!” He addressed her in a reedy voice. “I did not hear you walk up.”

And he truly hadn’t. How many times would she get the better of him?

He looked down at the much smaller alien and thought she looked tired, but he couldn’t say what exactly gave him that impression. Her uniform was still just as pristine as before and her head threads were purposely and neatly arranged, if something was wrong with her, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to discern it.

She didn’t address him as a deep frown settled on her face as she looked at the VI like it had offended her. “That sounds like some pre-expansion propaganda.”

“Is there something wrong with this data?” Jaal asked.

He noted her change in tone from their previous… professional conversations. She had never been out right cold to him, she just normally kept her voice level with few inflections, but now… now she seemed… looser. Something about the VI’s speech had genuinely caught her attention. 

“Let’s find out,” She then stepped closer to the pixelated figure. “Tell me about the Purging Wars.” 

The light flickered then answered the Pathfinder. “Did you mean daily pruning chores?”

The Pathfinders frown deepened. “Tell me about the Ardat-Yakshi.”

Another flicker and another. “Did you mean air dried yak skin? Please refer to the human section.”

“Hmm, that’s what I thought.” She looked disturbed and her tone worried him.

Had he been listening to faulty information? Liam didn’t seem to have any problem with them when he was showing Jaal the exhibits, but as he turned to give the officer a searching look he was nowhere to be seen.

Behind him, the hall was cleared except for the asari custodian and a dark plated turian with a white scarf around their neck who was currently listening to the salarian VI. Though the lights hadn’t changed within the center, he could see the docks outside the window and that the station had dimed. _ Artificial day and night cycles? _

How long had he been there?

He cleared his throat to hide his embarrassment. “Is there a problem?” 

She hummed seemingly pondering her words. “Did any of the other VI lectures seem… odd? Like it was too… clean?”

“I do not understand.”

“Did you learn anything bad, anything negative about the races or their history?”

“No. Your history seemed quite-.” Ah, now he understood. “...polished.”

She nodded. “And that’s the problem. They have… _ cleaned up _ the files.” The words became a snarl. “Its an old practice some races would do when submitting historic records to the galactic archives. A practice banned years ago. Why did they _ even _upload these?” She said more to herself.

“_ Clean up? _Why would anyone change their own history?” He was horrified. They had the blessing of having your ages documented only to then forge it? A Singer would have been put before the city for such a crime.

“No!” She denied quickly as she looked at him with fiery eyes. Never had he seen her so open- so clear. “History should never be edited like this! This-” she threw her arm out at the blinking display, “-is an outrage!”

“You seem quite passionate about this.” While he had her like this, he wanted to see if he could learn a little more about her. “Why is that?”

“Of course I am, this is my job- or rather…” She looked away from him to scowl at the VI again. “It use to be.”

“And what was that?” What was this alien’s trade? He was tired of guessing.

“Xeno-sociologist and Logistics Technician.” She must have seen the look of puzzlement on his face because she smiled apologetically as she continued. “I study alien society and languages.”

He was genuinely surprised. Such studies were highly respected among his people as it was thanks to them that the divided colonies were even able to become whole. He looked at her young face as if the answers he was looking for would be written there, and she was that- young. Though he wasn’t certain how their ages compared, her rounded face and hesitant demeanor had given him the impression that she couldn't be many decades old.

“Society is shaped by our past- by who we were and what we did. It’s not always flattering. We make mistakes, but that’s the whole point. We’ve learned from them and have grown. If you dress it up or try to hide it-” She crossed her arms over her chest then spoke almost in a whisper. “If we can’t learn from the mistakes of the past, we’re doomed to repeat them.”

If this alien could speak so passionately about the sovereignty of history- about the honor of those who came before and treasure them, then perhaps… perhaps he was in capable hands after all.

“We take much pride in our history and the preservation of it. If this VI is unreliable, then would you be willing to answer some of my-”

His question was cut off as the Pathfinder looked behind him, wide eyed and alarmed then lunged with surprising speed. On instinct, he braced himself for her attack, hand reaching for his hidden blade, but was halted as her cold hand stilled it over the hilt. 

A grunt followed by the sound of struggling drew his attention as he turned to the scene behind him.

The turan woman he’d seen observing the displays earlier was snarling at the Pathfinder as she blocked her way. The Pathfinder’s hand tightened around the stranger’s fist as she angled her body to stand between them. Something gleamed in her hand but the Pathfinder swiftly twisted the turian’s arm into a painful angle before he could get a good look at it. 

The Pathfinder turned towards him as she gave him a warning stare and gave his hand one last squeeze before letting go. 

Jaal took a cautious step back as the Pathfinder shoved the taller alien against the wall pushing her bent arm further up to keep her pinned. The turian hissed in both anger and pain as she struggled.

“You’re a traitor!” The attacker snarled at the Pathfinder. “You’re supposed to protect us! Not whore us out to these barefaces!”

“Are you mad? He’s done nothing to you!” She hissed back.

“You think I haven’t heard about the attacks on the Outcasts? On Kadara? You Initiative _ varren _ tossed my son away to die and then _ you _made sure of it!” She spat at him.

Two armored aliens rushed in and with a quick exchange with the Pathfinder, cuffed the turian woman and drug her out as she continued to snarl and shout.

“We trusted you and _ now _look at us! My son is dead and we’re all going to follow!”

He was watching their retreating forms when the Pathfinder came up beside him, her face a storm of sorrow, regret, and guilt. She let out a long exhausted sigh. “I’m… really sorry about that, Jaal. That wasn’t supposed to happen.” She rubbed nervously at her scared brow. “She shouldn’t have been able to make it past security. Kandros is going to catch hell for this.” He wasn’t sure if that last part was for him.

He opened his mouth to reply but then snapped it shut when he couldn’t think of anything to say. His mind was still going over the quick encounter and the venomous words that had been directed at him. The woman had attacked him- or had tried to at least- and had clearly seen him as a target for her sorrows and pains. Though he personally hadn’t had any dealings with the alien colony on Kadara, he’d heard of the fights that’d broken out with the local angara. Relationships there weren’t peaceful. Then again, he’d never heard of there being peace on that miserable planet, aliens or no.

Though his mind rationalized this, his heart ached at the pain and desperation that had laced the woman’s cries and had shown in her glossy eyes. It was a look he’d seen too often in the eyes of his people and it was unnerving to see it on someone so alien.

“_ Khovek _!” The Pathfinder hissed.

Puzzled at the untranslated word, he turned to her to ask for clarification, but then freeze. 

The weapon he’d only seen a glimpse of before was a small, thin tool whose flattened end had been sharpened into a makeshift shiv. He could study it now in great detail because it was currently being held still within the bleeding flesh of the Pathfinders hand. Its long metallic neck disappeared into her thin, gloved palm only to reappear on the other side darkened with blood.

Rich red liquid traveled down her arm as she bent to grab the piece of clothe his attacker had dropped during her struggle. She wrapped it carefully around her hand with a grimace.

He took a step towards her, his field already trying to send out soothing pulsed as his hands opened and closed uselessly beside him. If she were an angara, he’d lay a comforting hand on her as they walked to the med bay, but she wasn’t. She couldn’t feel his field and, as he watched the oddly beautiful blood soak the makeshift bandage, he realized he didn’t know the first thing about human first aid. Was there blood dangerous? Did their body have a natural defence? Would he unknowingly hurt her further?

She let out an annoyed sigh. “That’s just great. Lexi and Harry are going to be up my ass for this one.” She grumbled as she turned her wrist, wincing as she activated her omni-tool. “Liam, I need you to come to the Cultural Center and escort Jaal back to the ship.”

After a few moments, muffled music came through the communication device nearly drowning out the officer's voice. “Sara! It’s so good to hear from you!” Liam’s slurred words were obviously not the response the Pathfinder was expecting.

An annoyed scowl settled on her face. 

“Please tell me you haven’t been drinking?”

“like a fish!” Peebee voice shouted over Liam’s meek- “Maybe.”

The Pathfinder closed her eyes and took a measured breath in and out before continuing. “Is anyone from the ground team not intoxicated?”

A much longer pause followed. “... we were celebrating.” Liam explained with guilt.

Clearly not happy, the Pathfinder closed the interface and rubbed her brow again with more force.

“SAM, remind me to deal with officer Costa in the morning.” She then rounded on Jaal, taking him in with calculating eyes before he could ask who Sam was. “Humm, looks like you’ll have to stay with me for a little bit longer. I’ve got to get this-” she nodded to her still bleeding hand, “-taken care of and I’d rather you not be alone right now. There might be others who don’t... approve of you being here.”

If it meant getting to see more of the station, he didn’t mind being in the Pathfinder’s company for a little longer. He at least understood her caution. 

So with a curt nod, he followed her as she lead him out of the cultural center and up to a new level of the bay.

As they walked through quiet hallways, he was surprised at how… at ease he felt. If she had led him down this pathway any sooner, he’d be watching the corners and her intently for any signs of an attack. Though he was still giving the darkened corners a cautious glance, he no longer felt the need to keep a critical eye on her. If she’d wanted him dead she’d have let the blade land like the attacker intended. Though he wasn’t sure about the rest of the aliens on the station, he at least knew, with some certainty, that this one intended to keep him alive. She was clearly capable of it too.

His mind tried to replay the incident- to slow it down. She had her full attention on him one moment then the next she was a blur. She had stilled his hand when he had reached for his blade while deflecting the one meant for his back. How did she know about his _ firaan _? 

He eyed the smaller alien in front of him. Her form wasn’t intimidating, but the way she just… reacted, he knew there was more to this well spoken, scholarly alien then he had first assessed. He was instantly curious and eager to see what she was capable of now.

She stopped at a plane door, but before she interfaced with its access screen, she turned to him with an apologetic look. 

“They’re going to ask a lot of questions. This shouldn’t take long though, so…” She shrugged. “If they make you uncomfortable just tell them to leave you alone. They’ll back off.” Her uninjured hand rose to open the door and he almost missed her whispering, “... at least I hope they do...” as it slid open.

He was lead into a white room that was filled with strange equipment and blinking screens with diagrams and symbols he didn’t understand. The table tops were piled with data pads, loose readouts, and abandoned ration packages in a chaotic system that seemed to vary from station to station.

He had only a second to notice the lab’s inhabitants, a group of five aliens that were seated leisurely at the back of the room, before they were noticed and chaos broke loose.

“Sara!” They all seemed to shout in delight as they rushed to meet them.

He was ignored for a moment as their attention was solely on the Pathfinder. Jaal was content to take a step back and watch the affectionate display as her small body disappeared within their hugs while arms reached to pat and ruffle her fibrous fringe.

For a moment, he was struck by the… familiarity of it. During his time with the Tempest crew, he’d not seen much physical contact aside from a friendly pat on the shoulder and he’d began to think it was some sort of… taboo among their races.

As he watched this new group of aliens coo over the Pathfinder, he was glad he was proven wrong.

A pained hiss made his stomach pinch and made them all jump back suddenly. The Pathfinder cradled her hand to her body while waving the other apologetically.

“I really missed you all too, but I think I need to take care of this first.”

A gray skinned salarian that had hung back before now pushed his way through the group and gently removed the soaked makeshift bandage from the Pathfinder’s hand, examining it.

An exasperated yet thoughtful hum rumbled from him. “Why is there a screwdriver in your hand, Sara.” His tone was similar to his true mother’s when he’d return home from playing with his older siblings with his knees bleeding and his clothes torn. “Actually, never mind. I’m sure I’ll hear about it in the morning reports.”

She ducked her head in a guilty grimace, “Ahh… yeah. You probably will Doctor Herik.”

He lost sight of her as she was lead to a vacant chair and the four other aliens turned their attention to him. Their group was made up of two humans, a pale plated turians, and an asri who were all dressed in similar white and blue uniforms. They stared at him like he’d just materialized in front of them. Wide eyes racking up and down him.

“Wow! You’re the new alien.” The freckled human breathed in awe.

“Don’t be weird guys. He’s had a long day, can’t you just-” Sara was cut off as his new spectators closed in on him, making him take a step back.

“Can I scan you?”

“Uh-” He suddenly didn’t know what to do.

“What is your protein base?”

“How old are you?”

“Is your race mono-gender?”

“Could I get a tissue sample?”

“I-wha… I don’t kno- no?” Jaal stumbled over his words.

“You’re huge! What is your muscle density? Are the strands striated?”

“What are your diseases like? Do you have common illnesses? Pleages? Did they serialize your system yet?”

Heat was rising up his neck and he shuffled uncomfortably. They just asked questions like that in public? “I- umm…” Jaal struggled to understand as they all spoke over each other, their eyes shimmered with excitement and curiosity.

“That is enough!” The salarian boomed, silencing the others. “You’re all acting like children! If you can not conduct yourselves like adults then you can leave.”

The small group looked down shamefully and muttered an apology as they all took a reluctant step back from him. The turian offered him a seat as the room grew silent except for the clattering of tools and a pained hiss as the Pathfinder’s wound was seen too.

The heavy silence only lasted a moment more before he broke it. “You know the Pathfinder?”

The turian gave a chuckle and a node. “Oh yeah! Sara was our translator and field supervisor before the pathfinding team stole her from us.”

“You are a team?” Jaal questioned further.

“We sure are. We’re the Science and Research unit. We’re the ones who study and make sense of the data the pathfinding team collects. ” The asari answered. “From what I hear, now _ your _team.”

He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“You called her _ Sara _before. Was that her old title or-”

“It's my first name.” The Pathfinder answered from behind him with a strained voice.

“But everyone on the Tempest addresses you as _ Ryder _.”

“Humans often go by their last name- or family name- with less familiar people or in more formal settings. Their first name- or given name- is saved for closer relationships and people they consider friends or family.” The turian lifted a tallon and explained.

“Lucan, have you been studying?” The Pathfinder asked sounding genuinely interested.

Jaal heard a wet sound he tried to not guess the cause of then a loud clunk of heavy metal being discarded. When no sounds of discomfort followed, he assumed the Pathfinder had finally been given something for the pain.

“As a matter of fact I have been.” The man fluttered his bony mandibles with, what Jaal assumed, pride.

“You’ve met someone, haven’t you.” The Pathfinder hummed amused as the man’s hide like neck became blue.

“Wh- Sara!” Lucan sputtered then looked away shyly. “I- yeah, maybe.”

The sound of fabric being cut drew his attention and he finally looked behind him.

The Pathfinder was examining her bandaged hand as the salarian scientist cleaned and put away his tools.

She looked over at Lucan fondly. “Your sub-vocals were going crazy. They must be something special to get you like this.”

Sub-vocal? He hadn’t heard anything. He would add this to his growing list of alien concepts he didn’t understand.

Lucan coughed nervously. “Yeah… they are, but let's talk about _ your _something special.”

A troubled look passed over the Pathfinder’s face before realisation swept it away.

“Oh! My armor set. Dr. Herik called earlier and said you’d finished.”

His boney mandibles flutter strangely as he laughed. “Not to brag or anything, but it's probably the nicest set of armor you’re _ever _going to wear. Which is great because it’s the _last_ set you’re going to need to wear.”

“That good huh?” Her lips pulled into a teasing yet playful smile.

After meeting this odd, eager group of scientists, Jaal realized that this really was the Pathfinder’s team. It was this strange group she went to for help and who welcomed her with warmth. They spoke freely between each other and laughed openly, and now that he thought about it, this had been the only time he’d seen her smile.

He was pulled from his musings when the Pathfinder finally stood up and moved to stand by him.

“I’ll stop by tomorrow before we leave.” She promised as she began opening a strange looking container that had been tucked in the corner. “I’ll have someone come by in the morning to pick up the armor and storage safes since I'm short a hand.”

He had a hunch which officer she was going to send out. He was beginning to like Liam and hoped human hangovers weren’t like the ones he’d experienced after celebrating victories… or after attempting to forget losses.

He watched the Pathfinder pull out a worn leather jacket and carefully slide it on over her bloodied shirt. The next item was an odd, decorated cord that she draped around her neck then looped through a simple ring that had been woven into it. The exotic jewelry looked quite lovely as it rested against her chest but when he saw the Pathfinder’s face he suddenly looked away. 

She was looking down at the braided cord with anguished yet loving eyes. He knew instantly that this was a very… private moment that he was not welcomed to. He wondered what the trinket meant, though. Was it an heirloom or perhaps a cultural symbol? Whatever it was, it meant _ something _ to her.

Resealing the container and waving a final farewell, they finally left the lab and began making their way back to the port. It wasn’t until they were ascending the Tempest’s ramp that they finally spoke.

“...Jaal, I’m sorry about today.” The Pathfinder turned and looked him in the eye. “I promised you you’d be safe here and you were attacked. If you want to return to Aya I- I’ll completely understand.”

He was genuinely surprised. He had been shaken by the attack but it had been a lone civilian who attacked out of grief instead of a trap setup by the whole Initiative. He’d faced similar assaults in Aya’s marketplace when someone blamed him for a soldier's death or had a grievance with the Resistance. She had been successful in both keeping him safe and avoiding an even worse situation. If the Pathfinder hadn’t stilled his blade, he would have looked like an assassin with his hidden weapon and would have likely destroyed any diplomatic footing they had.

That realisation suddenly made his stomach churn.

“Thank you, but that is unnecessary, Pathfinder.” He gave a polite node. “You fulfilled your promise and we still have a mission to see too.”

She gave him a small thankful smile. “Yes, we do and, Jaal,” she stopped and turned towards him. “You don’t have to address me by my title, I want you to feel like you’re part of the crew.” She began to reach for his shoulder but then thought better of it when she remembered her injury. “_ Ryder _ is fine to use if you want. Hearing everyone call me _ Pathfinder _all the time is… weird.” Her nose scrunched up. 

“If that is what you prefer.” He dipped his head with acceptance as they began to split paths. “I very much enjoyed seeing your station, the cultural center was especially captivating, all things considered.”

“Yes, _ that _ will be corrected _ very _soon.” She nearly growled as she tiredly rubbed her temple. “But I’ll see what I can get for you in the meantime. Good night, Jaal.”

“Yes, it has been a fairly pleasant night.”

She looked at him oddly for a second before chuckling. “No, I’m sorry. I meant it as ‘I hope you sleep well’. It's a common Milky Way valedictory to say before going to bed.”

_ Ah, interesting. _

“I see. We say _ isharay _, though you do not need to be going to sleep to use it.”

“_ Isharay _ .” She parroted, testing the word. “Well then, _ Isharay, _Jaal.”

That made him smile. “_ Isharay _, Ryder.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve enjoyed playing with the different languages in this. The way the games use the translators to wave away miscommunication feels too easy. I’m trying to stay as close to what words we do know from the games, but there really isn’t a lot recorded. In other words, I’m totally winging it until someone corrects me.


	4. Chapter 4

“I don’t like it!” The pixelated face of his mother pinched together with outrage. “Evfra never should have sent you on this foolish mission and you never should’ve accepted it!”

“Mother, please-” Jaal adjusted his grip on the terminal’s metallic edge to better conduct his current. His reassuring waves either wasn’t being received or, the more likely explanation, his mother’s anger was unfazed by it.

Guilt had finally eaten through his resolve as he decided to get the unpleasant call to his mother over with. She had handled the news as gracefully as he’d expected.

“No! You should  _ not  _ be on that ship. Return to Aya or come home, just  _ anywhere  _ other than that  _ skutting _ vessel!”

He sighed, “Mother, it is not like that. Evfra, nor I, are foolish enough to blindly trust these aliens, but we cannot ignore them. We must know their intentions and motives.” His mother eyed him with skeptic yet attentive eyes. “And during my time among them they have shown no ill will towards me.”

_ At least not all of them _ , he thought with a mental grimace. The incident at the cultural center had been handled gracefully by Ryder and he saw no need to dwell on it. The last thing they needed was to let the hatred of one person derail their alliance so early in its infancy.

“Just because a kaerkyn doesn't show its fangs doesn’t mean it won’t use them.” Sahuna cautioned him with a tired breath.

He knew this couldn’t be easy for his mother. Having lost so much of their family, he knew it wore on her spirit. She was stronger than he thought he could ever be, but he could see the fear in her eyes- hear it in her voice- when farewells and partings were passed and her children walked out the door. She embraced them like all angara mothers hugged their children: like it would be the last.

And that was why he was on this ship. 

If there was even a slight chance that these aliens could tip the scales of this war then he  _ had _ to see this through.

“Mother,” He caught and held her eyes. “I know you do not like this arrangement, but I must do this. We have been fighting for so long and for the first time… I have hope for an end.”

He heard her breath deep, steadying herself.

“My son, my brave  _ foolish _ son,” his hands buzzed with the grasping, desperate waves she was sending him through the conduit, “If your head is clear and your heart is strong then… I trust you.” Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “Please, stay safe. I  _ need _ you to come back to us.”

“I will, I promise.” His throat was dry and his tongue felt too thick.

_ I will come back. You will not sing in morning for me. _

Sahuna wiped her wet face with a chuckle. “Now that we have that business out of the way, tell me about these odd aliens of your’s. I’ve seen the reports coming out of Kadara but what are they  _ really _ like.” Her curious waves fluttered against his palms.

He chuckled, happy for the lighter subject and did just as she asked.

Jaal spoke of his past week onboard the foreign ship and among its assorted inhabitants. Though he had been reclusive at first, he eventually gained the courage to roam the halls and began settling in. 

Like all the ships he’d been assigned to, the Tempest had a flow and rhythm to it that felt both alien and familiar. The crew rotated shifts to share daily chores that ranged from small maintenance to the ship to personal upkeep. He’d been given a translated data pack about the mental strain extended time on a spacecraft could cause and a mandatory slot in his schedule to tend to such needs. Similar lectures had been drilled into him during his earlier days in the Resistance so he knew how to care for himself. 

The others, though, had curious ways of meeting their needs.

Peebee examined and cataloged her collection of Reminet artifacts, of which he was quickly shooed from. Cora trained in the cargo bay and, once she explain the strange crackling energy she commanded, he found he enjoyed watching her sessions, with her permission of course. The engineer often orchestrated a card game that many of the others joined him for, but the man seemed to be the only one who walked away happy from it. The rest of the crew was far more private with their time.

“Such peculiar people.” His mother shook her head in disbelief but he could see the excited fascination in her eyes. “Now, what about this Pathfinder I keep hearing so much of? It’s all anyone on Aya is talking about.”

Though he didn’t know her well, he had a feeling Ryder wouldn’t enjoy knowing that.

“I mistook her for a Counselor at first.” He mused. “The Pathfinder is very... purposeful.”

“You say that as if it’s unbecoming.” Sahuna hummed with amusement.

“I… it’s not. Not really.” He paused in thought. “She is mindful, yet… distant? Polite yet… cautious.” 

She nodded in understanding. “It seems they are just as wary of us as we are of them.”

This gave him pause and he couldn’t stop his thoughts from drifting.

_ He found himself pacing the ship’s hallways days after leaving the massive station. His mind had grown too restless with thoughts of their mission and his fears of their possible failure that sleep evaded him. He’d grown tired of the upper deck and had just begun to make his rounds in the lower when he saw light within the galley. As he cautiously passed, he saw Ryder hunched over a pile of datapads sprawled across the crew’s dining table. Her thin fingers racking through her dark hair, and, just for a moment, he thought he heard her muttering to herself. Jaal was just about to pass on quietly when he recognized the schematic she was looking at and without much thought found himself entering the room. _

_ As he approached, he watched her body suddenly go stiff then her head snapped up to look at him. Had she heard him? _

_ “Hey, Jaal.” She leaned back into her seat in what would have been a relaxed position if her muscles hadn’t coiled up as if she were suddenly on a training field. “What are you doing up so late?” _

_ Not wanting to admit that he’d let his worries rob him of his sleep, he made his way over to the cabinets and pulled out a cup, raising it for her to see. _

_ She nodded and made an accepting sound, her eyes dropping back down to her tablet. _

_ His lips pulled into a tight, unsure line as he filled his glass, suddenly nervous of what to say. When had he ever found voicing his thoughts difficult? _

_ He had enjoyed their small conversations onboard the Nexus and found himself curious about this strange alien. She had been informative and eager to share, but he didn’t want to test her patience just yet. Perhaps if he could get her talking again... _

_ He cleared his throat. “Are those Havarl’s maps?” He knew they were but he didn’t want to seem rude for spying over her shoulder. _

_ “Hum?” Her eyes darted back up. “Oh, yes. I was just going back over them.” Suddenly her browls shot up. “I’m so sorry, I’m taking up the whole table! Here, have a seat.”  _

_ She scrambled to gather the pads into some semblance of order and waved to the now cleared side. _

_ He hesitated just a moment before accepting her offer with a polite thank you. _

_ The Pathfinder had made a nice nook for herself. A cup sat among the data pads, a faint trail of steam rising from it while a small pile of ration wrappers was bringing to form. Her clothing looked lose and made for comfort more so than her usual uniform.  _

_ “Have they been of use?” Jaal gestured with his cup at the schematics. _

_ Her eyes seemed to turn thoughtful. “Yes…” he nodded along, “... and no.”  _

_ Jaal frowned but she rushed on before he could speak. _

_ “Most of the maps and data you sent me were heavily… redacted. Which I understand.” She straighten a few of her crooked piles, not meeting his eyes. “It just makes understanding them and planning the ground missions… difficult.”  _

_ “Ah.” He picked up the datapad she had been studying and looked at it himself and sure enough, vast portions were blacked out or missing. “I apologize. This must be frustrating.” And he truly was sorry. He hadn’t realized the files Evfra had cleared had been so sparse.  _

_ Ryder shrugged. “It is, but it's okay. I’ve worked with less.”  _

_ The way she refused to meet his eyes, he suspected she hadn’t. _

_ He rubbed the side of his craw. He knew how stressful it was to go into the field without knowing your environment. The uncertainty, the unaccounted variables, he at least had the benefit of trusting the ones giving him the missions. Ryder did not. _

_ “Havarl is… sacred to us. It is believed to be the birthplace of my people.” Her eyes flicked back up. “We’ve become very protective of it and Evfra means no offence by shielding it. Many find refuge from the kett there.” _

_ “They’ve not attacked it?” _

_ “They have tried, but it's wilds have proven most inhospitable for them.” His satisfaction in knowing the kett couldn’t survive the jungles of his childhood made his current snap with pride. “They choose to send their resources elsewhere rather than trying and failing to gain a foothold.” _

_ “You’re making me nervous now. How dangerous is this planet?”  _

_ “Very.” He assured her. “But we will be landing at a well maintained station and will not be venturing into the jungle’s depths. You need not worry.”  _

_ She twisted in her seat so she was better facing him as an air of attentiveness settled over her. “You sound like you know this place well. Have you been stationed there a lot?”  _

_ His mouth settled into a firm line. Evfra’s warning rang in his ear but the genuine interest that Ryder was showing after having settled into a tentative ease made him want to try. If he was careful with his words… _

_ “Havarl... is my home. I grew up learning to be cautious of its dangers.” _

_ She was silent for a moment as if she was processing this new information. Her mouth opened only to snap shut, thinking better of whatever she was about to say. _

_ “We’re lucky to have you as our guide then.” She finally said, giving him a small grateful smile. _

_ Jaal hummed, relieved she didn’t press him for more. _

_ They settled into a semi comfortable silence then. He leisurely scrolled through the pads’ data, and though he couldn’t read the new translated text, he recognized enough of the maps and readouts to fill in the gaps where he could. _

_ He had just scrolled past an environmental chart when Ryder moved, catching his eye, as she scratched at her gloved hand. He’d noticed her doing that every so often as he chipped at the pile of tablets. _

_ “Does your injury trouble you?” He then caught himself. “That is, if such matters are appropriate to talk about. I’m still learning your taboos. Forgive me if I have overstepped.” _

_ She stopped rubbing her covered hand, looking surprised, as if she just realized what she’d been doing. Ryder gave him an amused half smile as she waved away his discomfort.  _

_ “You haven’t offended me, but I would be careful asking others. Some injuries can be quite… personal and can be difficult to talk about.” Ryder then began to remove her left glove. “It stung at first, but now its just itches. It’s more annoying than anything.” She shrugged dismissively as she displayed her palm. _

_ Being the first time to be able to study it ungloved, Jaal leaned in as she turned it, shamelessly drinking in the details. Thin, lightly tanned skin was laid over a concerningly delicate arrangement of bones and vessels. In fact, he could follow the faint blue of her vain underneath. How did this species survive so long with such vulnerable skin? And hadn’t he seen her bleed red? This was maddening. _

_ He followed the streak of color up to her ridiculous fingers. The odd digits were splayed to show their independent spacing and their impractically thin structure. Fine, pale scars decorated her knuckles only to be overshadowed by a strip a silver running on top of raised pink flesh in the center of her palm.  _

_ His mind stuttered and his face pulled into a frown. _

_ Her wound, gained not but three days before looked as if it were weeks old. _

_ “I do not understand. How is it healed already?”  _

_ Pulling her hand back, Ryder gave a nonchalant shrug.  _

_ “Our evaluation didn’t give us thick hide like the krogen or platting like the turians, but we did get the useful trick of being good at knitting ourselves back together.” She lazaly picked at the metallic dressing. “We break easily but we heal easily too.” _

_ “Fascinating.” He breathed in awe, resisting the urge to grab her hand. “To what extent can you heal? Can you grow back bones? Organs? Limbs?” _

_ Her lips pulled into a tight line. “No, unfortunately we’ve not figured that out yet.” She let out a humorless chuckle. _

_ He realized he’d let his curiosity get away from him and he’d said something insensitive. Ryder must have realized the change as well as she cleared her throat and fixed her half smile back into place. _

_ “So, I’m assuming angara don’t heal like this?” _

_ He gratefully accepted her taking control of the conversation. “No, not quite. The time it would take to heal a wound like that would be roughly thirty cycles.” _

_ Her face pinched in confusion. “Cycles? Are those your days? As in the full rotation of the planet?” _

_ “Hum, yes. Most angara settlements go by Aya’s time. It’s the main port of trade and…” He paused thinking back to his childhood lessons on the matter. “... and I believe it became the standard during the first Great Reuniting.” _

_ Even more puzzlement showed on her face. _

_ It might be best to save the finer points of angara history for a later date. _

_ “So if its thirty Aya days then…” Her mouth moved silently as she worked out the math. “That’s nearly three Earth months!” _

_ “Less if the injured is getting the correct amount of sunlight.”  _

_ She leaned in closer, though her face was still pinched in confusion.  _

_ Jaal held back a chuckle at the familiar sight. He’d made that same look so many times as an over eager child. “We need regular exposure to sunlight to maintain our health. Do humans not require such nurishment?” _

_ She hummed in thought as she carefully chose her words. “I’m not certain on the actual biology, I’m afraid that’s not my strongest subject, but we do need it to some degree. Most rations have supplements added to them to keep us within the healthy limits, but I’ve been on ships that have specialized rec room for sunbathing.” _

_ Sunbathing, he liked that phrasing. It was a simple thing, just standing under the sun, but they had a term for it that made it sound indulgent. _

_ “Interesting.” He breathed out amused. _

_ “I wish I could tell you more.” She flicked her wrist, the orange display of her omnitool lighting up as, he assumed, she tipped in a note. “We normally have translated information packs, but…” Her eyes met him with an apology. “I’ll see what I can do about that.” _

_ This soft, purposeful alien had seemed so tired and on edge when he first found himself spying from the doorway, yet now… now she seemed thrilled to listen to him and to be listened to in return. _

_ “Yes, I would very much enjoy that.”  _

He pulled himself from the memory and finally nodded at his mother’s question.

“Perhaps, if this is to work, she is the alien to do it.” Though they were but a breath, he couldn't stop his heart from believing them.

_ Stars light my way as this foolish hope leads me down uncertain paths. _

His heart battled itself within his chest. He hoped, so desperately, that these aliens were the fulfilment of his childish, stargazing wish, yet his soldier mind whispered cation.

The question-  _ what if _ \- dangled like a blade over his head.  _ What if _ they lied?  _ What if _ history repeated itself?  _ What if _ he was being a hopeful fool? But a small, yet persistent question always followed them-  _ what if _ they were their salvation?

His mother’s sigh stirred him from his thoughts.

“I’d hoped to see you.” Tender, regretful waves lapped at his fingertips. “Of all the times to be reassigned...”

A chuckle rumbled out of his chest. “Do not fret over it. I doubt I would have had time to visit any way.”

“You would’ve  _ made _ time.” The way she said it left no room for excuses. “Even Na’har makes time to visit his dear grandmother.”

“He is settling in then?”

“Oh yes! He’s been assigned to the second scouting unit. He’s already making a name for himself.”

He hummed relieved. “I do not know why I worried. I knew he’d be a natural.”

“You know he misses you as well. It’d do his heart well to see his beloved uncle.” Her tone was baiting.

He sighed at her stubbornness. “If we can keep to our time tables, we  _ should _ arrive on Voeld before your rotation is over.” Her thrilled waves snapped at his palms. “ _ If _ we have the time. You do remember that I am on an assignment, not a personal galavant?”

An unamused huff was her reply.

As much trouble as it was to try to appease her, his heart clenched at the overwhelming longing. He missed his mother. He missed his family. He’d stayed away too long this time and that hole only made his current situation feel all the more daunting. 

He would need to visit soon.

“I will message again when we are closer.”

“Very well.” She sighed. “Stay strong, my sweet, foolish boy.”

“Stay clear, mother.”

* * *

The last clasp clicked into place as Jaal straightened his  _ rofjinn _ . He felt better after speaking with his mother, but now, as they drew closer to his home world, all his worries began to sour in the pit of his stomach. 

“Orbiting Havral.” The pilot’s voice suddenly announced over the ship’s coms. “Ground team, be suited up and ready in the loading bay by touch down.”

Jaal took a steadying breath. 

He’d been itching for the chance to actually do something- anything- other than reviewing reports or training yet another batch of recruits. His daily routine had grown mundane and monotonous as he’d grown all the more desperate for action. He wasn’t foolish enough to wish for strife when he’d been fortunate enough to have some peace, but the endless planing and the mind numbing debates made him stir crazy and restless. The opportunity Ryder’s presence offered… he couldn’t have passed it up.

And Havral was the first step.

The Resistance had lost contact with the Moshea’s science team and lacked the resources to track them down. That is, until Ryder insisted she be given the chance to prove herself and the intentions of the Initiative. 

He’d been delighted at the chance to return to Havral but a sobering thought had crept into his mind during the quieter moments- what would these aliens think of his home? He’d seen very little vegetation on their station and the Tempest’s crew had been vege about their own worlds. Would they look at its wildness and only see them as primitives? Would they see them as weak for being unable to tame it?

As a child, he’d been hotheaded and quick to retaliate whenever he felt he was being looked down on. Most fights he’d gotten into had been started because someone had accused the weight of his family name for his successes. Later, he learned to grow thicker skin, but if the first impression of angara society led these aliens to believe they were less than the proud, resilient people that they were… he wasn’t sure he’d be able to bite done his pride.

He passed the workbench that displayed his nightly projects and walked up to the sleek door. The metallic paneling slid away, but he paused. 

Stacked neatly in front of the door rested a small pile of brightly colored pamphlets with a tiny note perched on top.

Jaal looked around the open deck but saw that it was completely unoccupied. He stooped to gather the curious offering and frowned when he saw his name written in crude shelesh. 

He unfolded the note.

_ Will not be the better translate, but I wishes it help.  _

His lips pulled into a smile as he read the fumbling sentence. He quickly flipped through the first, an info packet on the asari, if the cover was anything to go by, and immediately saw white little notes littered throughout its pages, the same messy lettering covering them. Then he saw the next pamphlet, this one displaying a human. The little note on top reading  _ biology _ .

He thought Ryder was just being polite offering to find a way to get him the information she’d lacked. He hadn’t expected her to actually do it herself.

Jaal let a small smile pull at his lips as he tucked the packets away to read later. His bioelectricity humming lightly as he made his way down to the galley for his rations.

He could hear voices trying to speak over each other as the echoes of a friendly conversation bled into the halls. The room was far more crowded than it had been last night. The lieutenant, the engineer, the science officer, and Liam all sat around the table talking as they saw to their own food.

“-oh but then he when and- Jaal!” Liam greeted bombastically when he spied him in the doorway. “Get in here!”

He gave the man a nod. “Officer Liam.”

The human’s face scrunched up in disgust. “Ah, no reason to be so formal.” Then a look passed over his eyes. “I mean, unless that’s impolite? Did I mess this up?”

“No. You have not offended me.” Jaal waved away his worries. “Angara do not use such formality among one another but I have heard you-” he waved at the group of humans, “use it.”

That seemed to satisfy the man as he relaxed and grinned at him. “Oh good.”

Jaal made his way further into the room and quickly found his paste packets.

“How are you finding the tech lab?” Suvi asked him as she brought a steaming cup to her lips.

“Quite easily now. Your ship is small and easy to remember.” He replied as he took his first gulp.

But by the look on her face and the grins on the others he’d said something wrong.

“Oh dear, no. I meant how are you liking it. Is it more comfortable?”

Ah, so it was like Ryder’s “good night”.

“I see. Yes, thank you. It is most suitable.” He leaned back against the counter. He hoped it read as relaxed and friendly as he didn’t feel comfortable sitting with a group just yet. “I have interrupted your story, Liam. I apologize.”

“Oh, I do want to hear the end of this one, Costa.” The engineer pressed.

The darker man cleared his throat in show. “Where was I?”

“Uh, Alic had just punched the reporter’s bot out.” Suvi supplied.

He laughed. “Yeah, yeah, right. So then he went right up to the guy and told him to either fuck off or start unloading supplies. Alic wouldn’t allow anyone into the colony or to interview the refugees unless they helped my team first.” His eyes seemed distant. “It was a hell of a first impression!”

“That sounds like him.” The lieutenant finally spoke up, smiling as she leaned into the table. “I wasn’t there for that one, but I remember when a c-sec officer tried to hold our ship in port. We’d just finished refueling after towing a turian scouting crouser. They had been crippled during a pirate attack and seeing the Alliance pull in a Hierarchy ship… needless to say, we had offended someone’s pride.”

Though the names were unfamiliar, the story was one he’d heard many times before. He itched to ask for clarification, but he stilled his tongue, wishing to hear the rest of the human’s story.

“The officer’s son had been stationed on the ship and had accused us of purposely dishonoring his family and so he was going to do everything he could to hender us. Alic walked up to him, looked the officer in the eye, and said that he could be angry at them for saving those soldiers but he could not stop them from leaving the port. As Alic was boarding the ship, he yelled back, ‘if you have a problem with it, take it up with the Council’ and we left the station. Not a single officer tried to stop us.”

The table erupted into laughter as Liam banged his fists in mirth. With all the commotion, the humans missed him turning as motion at the door caught his eye.

Ryder entered, eyes flicking up from her data pad at the loud group, an amused smile pulled at her lips. She was in her usual uniform, her hair arranged neatly, her posture straight, yet not overly rigid, but… something seemed off. Was the coloring under her eyes that prominent last night? The purple circles were a handsome shade, but against her paler skin, they seemed… wrong.

She gave him a nod as she approached his spot by the counter, still unnoticed by the crew. “Good morning, Jaal.” 

An odd greeting, but one he thought he knew the meaning of.

“ _ Yav novoa _ , Ryder.” He greeted her. “And my thanks for the pamphlets. I look forward to reading them.”

She shrugged, busying herself as she rummaged through the cabinets. “Uh… you're welcome.” She produced a mug and one of her food packs. “I’m not sure how much use they’ll be, though. I didn’t have a full database to pull from and the algorithm in place now is… a little off at times, but I hope it helps.”

He knew the verbal translators had trouble sometimes but he hadn’t given the written one much thought.

“It is more than I had before.”

“I guess that’s true.” She began pulling down other containers, preparing her morning drink. “Well, if something doesn't make sense, feel free to-“

“Oh, Ryder!” The engineer had finally noticed her. “I didn’t even see you come in.”

The others echoed their own greetings.

“Sounds like I missed quite the joke. What’s got you all so cheery this morning?” Ryder asked over the rim of her steaming mug.

But then, Jaal observed an odd change. All the humans suddenly stiffened and exchanged nervous looks, all except the lieutenant. If the Pathfinder noticed the change she gave no sign of it.

“We were just swapping Commander Alic stories.” Cora explained. 

“Ah, I see.” Ryder nodded as she unwrapped her food. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Uh… no! No, no, no! You're fine, you didn’t interrupt.” Suvi quickly denied.

Liam uncomfortably squirmed. “Yeah we should probably be-“

“What was your favorite mission of his? He must of had so many stories.” Cora eyes seemed wistful before turning towards Ryder.

But she was silent as she took a slow sip of her drink.

“We didn’t really talk about work stuff.” She finally shrugged. “He liked to… keep things like that compartmentalized.”

Her answer confused him. Wasn’t she Alic’s second? How could she  _ not _ know his feats? Had he been modest and chosen not to spread such stories? Was this a human thing he didn’t understand yet? Still so many questions.

“None? That’s disappointing.” Cora smiled sadly as she stood up to leave. “Well, good luck out there.”

The others soon scrambled to put away their things and find somewhere else to be.

Such strange creatures these aliens. They shared familiar body language, facial expressions, and emotions, yet he felt like he’d missed so much of what had happened. He could read the signs but he lacked the context to understand them.

He turned to asks the Pathfinder for some clarification, but her cup was already in the sanitation bastion and she was nowhere to be found.

“Breaking orbit. Legs done in 20.” Kallo’s voice announced overhead.

Now was not the time to be pondering about his strange crew mates. He had a mission to see to.

* * *

Sara pulled her under suit on a little rougher than necessary. She wasn’t mad at her crew or even Cora for bringing up her father. She was glad they could comfort each other with their stories of Alic, she just wanted to… 

Her hands stilled. 

She wasn’t sure what she wanted. To be able to contribute? To have her own heroic stories of the man? To share what stories she  _ did _ have? No, they didn’t need those and she didn’t want to share them.

_ That’s enough of that. _ She chided herself.

Her fingers traced the smooth braided cord of her necklace, grounding her thoughts, before tucking it into her suit. 

She ran on autopilot as she slid on her new armor. It was lighter than the last Initiative issue set she’d busted and the black hexagonal mesh reminded her of her old gear from her dig days. It was the perfect balance of maneuverability and protection. 

As she secured the last clasp, her suit emitted a soft hum before going quiet again, signaling it's syncing. She smiled, almost giddy to test the suit’s functions to their fullest out in the field, yet a part of her hoped she wouldn’t need to.

Sara slipped on her helmet, holstered her pistol to her hip, and slid her rifle onto her back. She made her way down to the loading bay, the soles of her boots barely making a sound against the floor grates as she approached her waiting team.

There was an alien planet out there to explore, she didn’t have time to get lost in her churning thoughts. She needed her mind here, in this moment, not stuck on a man she’d never see again.

Sara spotted Jaal, his colorful cloak and skin making him seem all the more alien against the drab gray bay. They would be the first ones out in hopes they would come off as less threatening to the scientists. Sara didn’t want to surprise them and unloading her ship of wildly different aliens didn’t seem like the best way to play this.

The Tempest rocked gently as they landed, her ears popping as the bay pressurized. She took one last settling breath, the hiss of the hydraulics filtered through as the ramp lowered at an agonizingly slow speed.

“This is it.” Jaal announced as he passing her with and encouraging look.

She followed him down the ramp then froze with a gasp.

“Welcome to Havaral.”

They’d settled on a landing pad that had been overtaken with vegetation. The towering, wild jungle that made up the clearing’s edge had nearly reclaimed the settlement. Sara saw fanning leaves of rich purple, deep navy, and striking cobalt make up the dense wall of foliage while lavender moss carpeted the ground. 

A thunderous bellow forced her eyes up, watching the stormy sky. A large shadow swam through the rain heavy clouds, dipping out of them to reveal a long, segmented creature that rolled its fins. As its body disappeared into the storm cloud another dive to take its place. Utterly transfixed, Sara stared in awe as a group formed and continued on their way, uncaring of the hypnotized human below.

Soft tapping made her readjust her eyes as she watched fat water droplets hit then run off her faceplate.

Rain. Real, fall from the sky, non-acid,  _ rain _ .

Without a second thought, her fingers found the clasps of her helmet and released them as her face was washed with damp, cool air. Her headgear hang forgotten at her side.

She closed her eyes as she breathed in a deep, greedy breath, unfiltered air filling her lungs as the rain peppered her face. A drop hit her forehead then tickled as it slid down her face, getting caught in her eyelashes. Another ran over her lips, dripping from her chin. They traveled over her skin slowly as if the storm was categorizing her alien face, curious of the strange creature that stood below it.

Though she might be a stranger to it, it was like an old friend to her.

_ The gray sand was cold as she buried her feet, now thankful her aunt had set a blanket out for her. The waves rolled in, reaching just a little further as if they were grasping for her as they lulled her with their rhythm. Gulls cried above her, sailing lazaly through the ashy, wet sky.  _

_ She wished she could stay in this moment. Lost to this song of waves and storms. Emptied of thoughts. Sara wanted to blur into this beach like how the ocean and the sky bled into one gray horizon. _

_ “Za’hra!” She heard a voice call from the house behind her. “You down there?” _

_ She stayed silent, ignoring her mispronounced name as she watched the tide roll over itself. She still didn’t turn when she heard footsteps in the sand. _

_ She heard a gravely sigh then felt a body settle beside her. _

_ “I guess this is as good of a place to work as any.” She tried to not enjoy the warmth that radiated from him. “The sand might be a fun new challenge. Hum?” _

_ She shrugged her shoulders. _

_ “Come on then, up you get.” He offered her a clawed hand. “I’ve got a whole new list for us today.” _

_ Why wouldn’t he just leave. She’d already told her aunt she didn’t need the therapist and she certainly didn’t need the engineer. She was doing fine and could take care of herself. _

_ “I know you don’t slow down in the cold.” The turian made a grasping gesture. “I’ve already been tricked once by that one.” _

_ Fine. She ignored his offered three fingered hand and stood up, finding her balance with the first try. _

_ The sooner she got through his dumb list of adjustments the sooner he’d leave. _

Sara shook her head returning to the present. 

Her hair was damp, her face chilled, and her chest ached. She hadn’t really thought about the Milky Way since she woke up, her new duties kept her mind too occupied to cram in something so trivial. Funny how a little precipitation made her painfully miss that small, lonely beach and...  _ his _ voice.

Movement in the corner of her eye reminded her that she wasn’t alone. She turned and saw Jaal, eyes painfully focused on her, as a strange look settled over his face.

Great, how long had she been staring off into space looking like an idiot?

She cleared her throat, reluctantly putting her helmet back in place. “So-Uh.. you ready to talk to this contact of yours?”

He was slow to answer, his eyes still raking over her as if he was hoping to see something again. “Hum... yes. This way.”

She was glad that her faceplate was opaque, suddenly self conscious of the embarrassment that burned her neck, but she forced her body to walk confidently. Sara willed her face to relax, putting her diplomat mask on while she tried to calm her racing heart. 

They neared the outpost and she stilled her mind.

* * *

The conversation with the remaining scientist had been tense, but Sara couldn’t say she blamed her. The angara woman had been terrified, alone in the bordered up lab, now suddenly face to face with an alien. Jaal had convinced her that they were here to help and slowly pulled the story from her.

Her team had left for a local Reminet site but communication had been lost. She feared the worst and begged them to investigate. With a quick look to Jaal, Sara had agreed and began calling down her team.

If the wilds were as dangerous as Jaal implied she’d need Drack and an extra mind to help her if the Reminet proved difficult, which Peebee was more than happy to volunteer for. She left Core in charge of the rest, not wanting to leave the ship unguarded in such an unpredictable place. She had spotted Suvi trying to comfort the angara woman as they were leaving and, knowing the soft spoken science officer, she’d probably make more headway with her then she had.

The foliage was thick and the soft ground uneven. Unfamiliar bird songs and chattering echoed around them as Jaal slowly lead them further in. His modified kett rifle was drawn and his body seem cautious and tese.

Though this was his home, he was alert and wary, proving his claims weren’t made lightly.

Sara was picking her way over a fallen tree when Jaal finally broke the silence.

“Do you not have such wilds in the Milky Way?” His tone was curious yet hesitant.

Peebee beat her to the answer. “Yeah, we’ve got them but they’re mostly supper dangerous and normally a hideout for drug traffickers.” She lazily swatted at a bug as it buzzed by her. “Now there are some resorts that have seeded and engineered some for show and to draw in tourists. They’re fine if you’re into that kinda thing, but they weren’t really my speed.”

“Hum, I see.” Jaal nodded. “I… it is just… before, Ryder, you seemed to-”

She’d hoped he wouldn’t bring it up, but that was just her luck.

“I’ve seen jungles before, just… never one quite like this. It’s beautiful.” It wasn’t a lie but she really didn’t want to talk about it. Not among practical strangers.

He stopped suddenly, his eyes piercing her with that searching look again as she nearly ran into him.

“Thank you.” His gaze, thankfully, turned away as he began walking again. “That is kind of you to say.”

She had to swallow a thick lump in her throat before continuing. “I-uh… you’re welcome.” Why did he have to give her such heavy compliments? She hadn’t said anything profound, it was just an observation. She had never been good at accepting someone’s gratitude, let alone one expressed as intensely as Jaal’s. 

She pushed back a leafy branch, trying to balance herself again. “I grew up on the Citadel, a space station we based the Nexus off of, and plantside environments still catch me off guard sometimes. I’ve… really missed the rain.”

“Really?” Peebee sounded surprised. “Didn’t really take you for a space brat. Aren’t you humans, like, really into Earth or something?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think that translated. You said they liked dirt?” Jaal asked.

“The humans’ homeworld.” Drack grumbled from the back. “A crazy hunk of rock that’s can’t decide what climate it wants.”

“Yeah, it’s supper weird.” Peebee huffed as she struggled to catch her breath, the incline growing steep. “It’s mostly one massive ocean with land masses scattered throughout and they all have different weather and temperatures.”

Sara chuckled at the exaggerated description of the birthplace of her civilisation. 

“Fascinating.” Jaal breathed in awe.

“I remember the stories the kids on the station use to pass around. They made it sound like something out of a fiction vid.” Sara remanised as she picked her way down a rocky slope, lose rocks crunched under her boot. “It wasn’t quite as crazy as I was made to believe, but it  _ was _ strange to have seasons.”

The asari slid down beside her. “I visited when I was studying the runes on Mars. You have some nice clubs.”

“Uh… thanks?” Sara helped her up as the asari dusted off her backside. “I never really went to any. School kept me busy.” Not that she’d go to one either way. Way too many people. Way too little space.

“How do you… acquire your education in the Milky Way?” Jaal asked tentatively.

“It's usually pretty different between the races.” Peebee piped up. “You’re small little kiddy schools go over the basic stuff, then they start getting more specific and more complicated as you go on.” She flippantly explained. “Then you go off to a university.”

“And what is that?” Jaal slowed down.

“It's basically your, like, adult professional studies.” Peebee sounded annoyed. “Just a bunch of boring old people who think they know everything. I didn’t really care for it. Too slow and too stuffy.”

Sara watched Jaal’s back as he walked on silently.

“I didn’t really care for my first few years of it either.” Sara supplied trying to add to the conversation. “I didn’t really want to be there and-”

“You did not want to be there? I do not understand.” Jaal finally spoke up, his voice sounded strained and clipped. “Was it hazardous?” 

“I…no. I just-” 

“Were you unwelcomed?” His scrutinizing eyes looked down at her.

Her right shoulder suddenly felt tight and soar. “I... wasn’t really in the best… frame of mind at the time.”

They dipped into silence after that. Jaal turned his eyes away, leading them on as he picked up the pace, much to Peebee’s dismay. They had to backtrack and find a new path a few times to avoid some nasty looking creatures but Jaal assured them, in a stiff tone, that they were close.

As she picked her way through the underbrush, Sara replied their words in her head. Had she said something rude? She hadn’t thought so, but they were still figuring this whole thing out. Aside from the previous night, she hadn’t gotten much of a conversation out of him. This was new for all of them and new things were strange and scary. She’d tried to make the ship accommodating and had given him space to adjust, but… wars had been started over smaller misunderstandings. 

She shook her head, dislodging her churning thoughts.  _ He’s just being quiet, there’s no reason you should be worrying about war. _

Sara picked up the pace to catch up to him.

“Jaal.” He didn’t turn around but his head tilted, telling her he was listening. “Before, did I say something-“ 

The sound of rustling leaves made her pause.

“...before, did you what?” 

She put her hand up to silence him. “I thought I heard something.”

A high pitched ring met her ears.

“Get down!” Her hand snatched Jaal’s arm as she dove away, the air crackled as something flew by.

The foliage around them exploded with movement as gunfire and large bodies tore out of jungle.

She crouched behind a fallen log pulling Jaal down with her and cautiously peeked over. Peebee and Drack had managed to find cover but the bodies advancing on them…

“They’re angara.” She breathed in disbelief. “Jaal, why are they attacking us?”

“I don’t care why! They’re shooting at us, that makes them enemies!” Drack growled over the coms.

“No!” Sara quickly shouted. “Do not engage.” She rounded on Jaal. “What is this? Who are they?”

A snarl twisted his face. “ _ Roekaar _ . Angara fanatics that wish to purge our galaxy of aliens.”

Sara quickly ducked back down as a chunk of wood was shot off above her.

“What? Why are you just now telling me this?” She understood the redacted documents, she understood their cation, but keeping peartental dangers from her… that was just reckless. 

“They should not be here.” He tried to defend. “This is not-“

“Ryder! They’re getting closer!” Peebee’s concern rang in her ear.

“Stay down and keep your shields up.” She commanded then turned her attention to the advancing angara. “We’re the Pathfinding team from the Initiative. We‘re here with peaceful intentions.” 

Another blast threw more pieces of her cover away. 

“ _ Skkutting vessaal! _ ” An angry sneer was thrown back at her. “Your greedy hands will not touch this place!”

“I’m here at the request of the Resistance. Evfra-”

“Those traitorous fools can rot with the rest of you!”

They were nearly across the clearing, she didn’t have much time. She wasn’t about to get her team or herself killed, but these were the people she was trying to build trust with. If she killed them, even out of self defense, she would be no different then the kett in their eyes.

“Use your stun rounds.” She finally ordered as she tightened her grip on her pistol. “We didn’t come here to kill.”

She popped up and got off two shots as she tried to take count of their attackers. Three stalked towards them, one stumbled as her round connected with his leg and three more were picking their way down to the other’s cover. 

“I’m seeing-“ Her words were cut off as one burst from the foliage behind Jaal. 

Two shots caught the attacker in the leg and shoulder, bringing them down with a hard thud but before she could breathe a sigh of relief a wall crashed into her. She barely managed to twist out of the way of their blade as they hit the ground and tumbled down the slope. Her gun was knocked out of her hand and the air was punched out of her lungs as they rolled over each other in a tangle of limbs.

“Ryder!” Peebee voice called over their communicators. “Ryder are you okay?”

She gasped, “Fine- watch each other's backs!”

Sara was the first to recover as she rolled away, regaining her footing and catching her breath. The angara snarled as they scrambled back up, gnashing their teeth at her as they lunged with their knife again. She ducked the wide swing and let the tight ball of energy she carried at her core spread into her limbs and settle into her fist. Her knuckles crackled with blue energy as she let out a quick gab to the angara’s open side then ducked away as they swung again. 

From their pained grunt, she guessed they hadn’t expecting a hit like that but they recovered quickly, lunging again.

They were easily twice her size but they moved with surprising speed. Sara managed to keep just out of their range as they danced around each other until a shot to her shields made her stumble.

She managed to rolled away from the tip of their blade as she saw another run down the slope at them.

Time to test this suit out then.

Just as the two were on her, she dove away and activated the armor. 

The black hexagons flickered then faded away as Sara’s silhouette disappeared. The faces of the angara twisted with panic as their eyes darted around the rocky basin trying to catch sign of her movement.

The air didn’t shimmer in the typical telltale sign of a stealth suit, but her window of time was limited. Crouching low, Sara sprung, grappling the rifleman’s arm and pushing him off balanced as she twisted his arm until she hear a sick pop and a scream. She rolled away with the gun as the other rushed to get her off their comrade. She disappeared once again.

The soles of her feet burned as her biotics propelled her forward, catching the other from behind as she knocked their knee out with a sharp kick. The rifleman lunged for her but was too slow as she whipped around and slammed the butt of his gun into the side of his head. 

He crumpled to the ground. His friend roared, charging at her despite his new limp. His blade echoed a cry as it hit her arm guard, cracking as he swung wildly. He pushed her back with each hammering swing until her foot slipped on the loose rocks and went tumbling backwards. He followed her down, pinning her with his weight as he pulled his arms back readying to plunge his knife into her.

Its came down with a sinister glimmer as her right arm came up to block it. Her hand gripped the blade, both of their arms shook with the effort as the knife was held at a stalemate above her throat.

Energy collected in her free fist as she slammed it into their ribs, trying to get them off. He grunted in pain as she connected but failed to push them off. As she pulled back again, she let a little more energy flow into it but she missed the crackle of electricity running down the blade as she swung. 

As her biotics slammed into him, burning jults scorched her arm as her body convulsed. 

She vaguely heard him slam into the tree as her body shook involuntary, her nerves screaming.

He hadn’t been carrying a stun device or anything that she’d seen. Had it been the blade? Was that even possible?

Slowly, with her limbs still trembling, Sara managed to roll over and get her knees under her. When she saw his body, heaped motionless on the ground, she turned her attention to the commotion above her.

“Is everyone okay?” She called over the communicators as she used a fallen tree to pull herself up.

A loud gunshot rang out form the plato above her then heavy silence settling over the valley.

“All clear now.” Came Drack’s gravely reply.

Sara let out a sigh of relief.

“Is any one hurt?” Sara slowly made her way over to her fallen opponents, checking for a pulse. 

Peebee huffed out, “I’ve got a scratch on my knee and a bruised as-“

“We’re fine, Ryder.” Drack finished.

Their pulse gently beat against her fingers. Relieved she hadn’t been too rough, she dragged their bulky bodies over to a small alcove and pulled two restraining ties from her belt. They would hopefully be out of sight from predators while being close enough to be found by their team. Once they woke up, that is.

Still working out her twitchy limbs, Sara slowly picked her way back up the hill to her team. Collecting her pistol on the way up.

They were dragging the unconscious angara, wrist already bound, and dropping them in a pile in the center of the clearing. When Drack spotted her he stomped across and slammed his finger into her chest plating.

“Why the hell would you tell us not to kill these bastards?” He growled out as he towered over her. “That was the most-“

“ _ Was it too hard for you?” _ She switched to Kradda and she nearly laughed at the shocked look on his face. She needed this conversation to be private and to unbalance the angry krogen. “ _ We need their trust. Killing them won’t win us any favors.” _

He recovered and snarled at her again.  _ “They ain’t the ones we’re trying to win over. You heard the  _ envoy _ , they’re an exiled clan.” _

_ “They are their people. They share the same face. You think that doesn't matter to them? It does.”  _ She held his eyes and refused to step back.  _ “If we show them that we are strong enough to defeat our enemies without killing them then we show that we have restraint. We show the Resistance that we are nothing like their enemy- that we’re a strong allie to have.”  _ She pressed on knowing she had to use blunt logic.  _ “If these outsiders are too blind to see that we are nothing like the kett, then they’re not even worth killing.” _

He narrowed his eyes and let out a hot huff, but she didn’t miss the small twitch at the corner of his lip.  _ “I still think it was dumb, but I don't follow weak people.”  _ He finally took a step back. “I want to know who taught you the clans’ tongue.” He settled back into Common.

She gave him a shrug as they joined the others. “Some other time, maybe.”

Jaal had his back to them, crouching over the bound… what had he called them? The  _ Roekaar _ ? As she got closer, she could see the uneasy look that hardened his face.

“What do you know of these guys?” Sara finally asked him, her voice sounded tight. She hadn’t forgotten the danger he’s secrecy just put them in .

He went stiff. “We had not given them much thought before, their numbers were small and they did not cause much trouble. Now though…” He gave her a hard look, “They have gained support. Many see your arrival as an invasion and see fit to put an end to it.”

His words made her uneasy. Was that a warning or a threat?

“Before, they sounded like they hated the Resistance.”

An irritated hum rumbled from his chest. “They believe we are fools for trusting you.” He stood up, not meeting her eyes. “Come, we are not far now.”

* * *

And he had been right. Less than a mile later the trees parted to reveal the black Remnant structure. It’s looming, jagged tower looked harsh and out of place among the rich plant life and Sara couldn’t help the chill it sent down her spin. 

These structures were mysterious and exciting, but the dangers she’d already faced in their depths drenched her curiosity with cold reality. Their sprawling, maze like guts were unpredictable. One moment they could be looking out over a seemingly endless expanse of columns and walkways and the next fighting their way out of a claustrophobic, shifting room. 

Interfacing with it… was wholly unnerving. Every time she link her mind with one of its consoles, it felt like being dropped in the middle of the ocean, unphathumly endless and terrifyingly disorienting. She was getting quicker at centering her thoughts and ultimately finishing the job, but each sync, for just a split second, it felt like the abyss was looking back at her.

Freeing the science team felt no different.

They had found them trapped in a strange energy field, alive yet unmoving and once she disabled it the room erupted into chaos.

The missing angara seemed to not even realize they had been trapped as they continued their frozen actions uninterrupted. So to them, Sara and her team had just popped out of thin air. Jaal was quick to defuse the situation, though he seemed to be growing frustrated with having to repeat himself.

Eventually, they accepted their story.

Sara tried to help them, as much as they allowed her, as they hastily packed up their equipment and began the trek back to their lab. They traveled much slower this time but Sara used the chance to keep pace with Jaal hoping to have a few of her questions answered. She was still irritated at him for withholding information, but her curiosity was eating her alive.

“Before, with the Roekaar,” Sara tested out the new word. “One of them attacked me with a knife, one a lot like your’s, and they were able to… stun me. What was that?”

“Roekaar do not carry  _ firaans _ .”

The tense energy from before was back. Sara fumbled for a response. 

“A small blade with carvings in the metal?” She felt the air grow heavy and knew she should drop the subject, but she pushed on. “Is that not a  _ fir-” _

_ “Roekaar  _ do not carry _ firaans!”  _ He turned and shouted. 

Anger rose like bile in her throat, but she kept it down. Everyone had turned at Jaal’s raised voice and the heat of their stairs left blisters on her back. Everyone was watching. 

Real bile rose in her throat as she realized the position he’d just put her in. 

She truly hated Jaal in that moment as she took a step back.

“I apologize. I must have been mistaken.”

She saw his hard eyes flicker with regret at her small voice, but she ignored it as she trudged past him. Sara had needed this. It was a reminder that  _ they _ were the aliens here and gaining the angaras’ trust wasn’t going to happen over night. She walked on, repeating that thought until his anger no longer hurt.

Their stale silence was interrupted when Sara heard the sharp rattle of gunfire in the distance.

Her finger tapped the side of her helmet. “Cora I heard gun fire from your direction. What’s going on?”

No response.

Cold fingers squeezed her stomach as she turned to see the same look on Peebee and Drack’s face.

“Lieutenant, please respond.”

An explosion shook the forest, the researchers shrieked as they stumbled. Sara was already running.

“Stay with them.” She shouted back as she disappeared into the thickets. 

Sara ran while still trying to contact the rest of her team. She threw aside branches, leapt over roots, and blinked out of sight when SAM alerted her to predators, hoping she remembered the path correctly. The soles of her feet burned as she poured her biotics into them, propelling herself forward at a breakneck pace. 

Something was wrong, she just knew it.

The same sickening dread had twisted her gut on Habitat 7. She could still hear the haunting cry of officers begging for their lives before being gunned down, still feel the choking paranoia of the kett stalking them, and the terror that came with being separated from her father’s team. There was a reason only two other original Pathfinder officers choose to stay with the team. 

The sound of gunfire grew louder as she slid to a low crouch, taking in the clearing.

Smoke was coming from the lab and her team was scattered, tucked behind stray crates and rocks as they took on fire. Angara, outfited in armer and shooting too close to her poorly covered team, were quickly gaining ground. 

Sara heard shouting above the screaming of blasters and saw a blur of purple and gray. Vetra and an angara laid on the ground, not far from her hiding spot, grappling for a gun while trying to toss the other off. Vetra threw her bony elbow only to be caught and kicked off with a winded gasp.

Sara was dashing out of hiding as the angara snatched up the gun and took aim at the pron smuggaler. She pushed her tired muscles as she leapt, throwing her full weight into her shoulder as she drove it into their side, completely off guard. They both toppled to the ground, the gun misfiring into the air as it fell from their hands. Carried by her momentum, Sara rolled back on to her feet first and kicked the side of their head before they could reorient themselves. 

They laid motionless as she gasped for breath above them.

“Ryder!” Vetra stumbled over holding her side. “Thank the spirits.”

“What happened?” Sara questioned as they ducked into cover. “I’ve been trying to message you all but-“

“The bastards jammed our coms. They just came out of nowhere!” She eased over their cover and fired off a few rounds. “Who are these guys?”

Sara let out a frustrated huff. “Angara fanatics who apparently hate all aliens. We had a run in with them ourselves.” She took a few shots at a Roekaar who was getting too close to Liam’s cover. “A fun little fact the brochures forgot to mention.” She emphasised her words with each snap of her gun.

The onslaught of bullets stuttered and they ran to new cover as their attackers reloaded. They fell into that rhyme as one after another Roekaar fell. Sara laid down cover fire until her gun clicked empty.

“ _ Khovek _ !” Sara spat as she holster the useless weapon.

She staggered back as a bullet hit her shield, biting off another curse as she rushed to funnel her biotic into a barrier just as another shot was fired at her. She saw the shooter creeping up from their left as two more flanked them on the right.

“Vetra!” Sara ground out, sweat rolling down her face. 

“I know, I know.” She could hear her anxious subvocals as she changed her aim.

Bullets peppered her barrier as she forced her mind to keep up all sides. She spread her awareness to blanket the both of them, trying to give Vetra the chance to fire back.

When she finally took a chance and cracked a blurry eye open, Sara saw movement as a black sphere sailed through the air.

Oh no.

“Get down!” She shouted as she pulled the taller woman to the ground and snapped her biotics in tight around them.

The world exploded as heat and rocks tore at her shield, throwing them into the air. They came crashing back to the ground with a clanking of armor as they laid groaning and wheezing, a deafening ring echoed in her ears.

Blinking the world back into focus, Sara saw Vetra unmoving beside her and the Roekaar moving through the smoke. She let out a pained hiss as her body protested her rolling over, but she ignored it, scrambling to get her feet under her and hooking her arms under the turian. They couldn’t stay here.

“Come on.” She groaned as she drug them both, crawling her way to cover.

A hulking figure emerged from the black smoke, the Roekaar raised his gun as he advanced. Gunfire snapped through the air as he fired.

Her hand swung out, the air bairly shimmering as she formed a sliver of a barrier- the bullet bounced off, planting itself into the ground at her feet. He fired and she swung again. Her arms were sluggish and heavy, but she couldn’t stop.

She barely heard their gun hit the ground- empty- before an enraged cry ripped through the air as they charged for her.

Her biotics were spent, her body was exhausted, and her guns were useless- she lowered her stance and activated her omniblade- she wasn’t done fighting, not yet. 

His blade came down hard and fast, but she twisted, sliding her blade against it, deflecting it away from her. The towering angara recovered quickly, snarling as he lunged and swung at her. She grunted with the growing strain as she redirected his blade again. This time he stumbled back a few step, gasping for air, like she was, as his eyes raked over her, frustrated but calculating.

He bellowed as he bolted forward, murder clear in his eyes. The smoke swirled around him as he rose his weapon to-

A yellow blur crashed into him-hard- sending him tumbling to the ground. The snapping of bones rang hollow as a satisfied chuckle rumbled through the air. Drack rolled his body back to its full height, his yellow eyes seemed to glow with exuberance as they found her’s through the smoke.

“So you leave us with the jumpy thinkers so you can run off and have all the fun?” The krogen huffed, but Sara couldn’t help a relieved chuckle from escaping. “Next time, you get stuck with clutch sitting.”

She smiled, despite knowing he couldn’t see it through her grimy faceplate. 

“Sure thing.” She finally breathed out.

Blue energy cracked across the clearing and the snap of gunfire echoed from the jungle’s cover. Help had arrived not a moment too soon.

“Take care of the kid.” He patted her shoulder as he nodded at Vetra’s unconscious body. “We’ll take care of this.”

He was gone, charging into battle. His war cry ripped the air as he drew their fire so Sara could stumble back to Vetra.

She found a safe nook for them behind a crop of mossy boulders, tucked away to steal a moment to catch her breath. Vetra, though unmoving, seemed fine after scans showed no life threatening injuries. Her visor was cracked and a thin trail of blue blood ran down her mandible, but she was breathing and would wake with only a headache and a sour attitude.

Sara took stock of her own aching body. Her still healing hand throb painfully, no doubt reopened during all the excitement, her head pounded with the overuse of her biotics, and her entire body felt heavy and tight with pain. She had pushed herself today, but as gunfire rang out behind her, she reminded herself that the day wasn’t over yet. Her bone tired fingers fumbled for the small covering on her shoulder and sighed when the latch finally gave.

“I would advise you to take the moment to rest, Pathfinder.” SAM’s voice suddenly cautioned her through her private channel. He had been silent during the mission so far, a thankful absence that she didn’t have to worry about causing a distraction.

“Thank you, SAM, but I can’t rest just yet.” Her fingers found the internal panelling and activated her suits medical release. A small pinch in her shoulder and the slight burning in her veins told her that the stims had been released. 

She normally hated to use the chems, always hated how it made her feel, but she needed her body to keep moving while it didn’t want to.

“Very well.” SAM almost sounded… dejected. “I will monitor your vials.” And he was silent.

She knew he was just following his programing and looking out for her health, but she couldn’t help the slight chill that ran down her spin at the reminder of his omnipotent presence. A thought she shoved away as she snatched up Vetra’s rifle and ran towards the fight.

* * *

The landing pad and the surrounding clearing had been secured, the tide finally turned to their favor as the Roekaar were subdued. 

Sara was still on guard as she crept up the stairs to the lab, gun ready and body buzzing- alert as she swept the area for any remaining threats. Jaal had silently fallen in line behind her as they cleared the exterior. They split up, Jaal moving to the bottom labs while she slowly made her way to the upper rooms. Muffled clattering and shouting made her muscles tense before silently moving to the door.

“Hurry up!” A voice, one Sara didn’t recognize filtered out of the room. Metal clanged together followed by a sharp yelp. “ _ Skutt _ ! That hurt!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Suvi’s voice frantically apologize. “I’ve not used these before and I don’t-”

“Shut up! Just finish it!” The stranger grit out painfully before jumping to his feet with a bark of surprise finally seeing her in the door. 

Before she was even in the room, there was a flurry of motion. She barely ducked back behind the frame before blaster fire scorched the doorway where her head had been.

Suvi shouted. “Ryder! Please don’t-“

“I  _ skutting  _ told you to shut up!” The angara hissed at the whimpering officer.

This was not good. She hadn’t seen who all was in the lab or how many weapons they had.

She cleared her throat and spoke. “I’m Pathfinder Ryder from the Initia-” 

“I  _ skutting  _ know who you are!” They- a male voice- shouted back, but he sounded young. “You’re the filthy alien that just  _ killed my family! _ ”

“The Roekaar?” She tried to sound calm as she tried to see into the room. Tables and equipment were scattered and she saw discarded bandages stained with dark blue blood. “Yes, regrettably, some are dead, but many are not.”

“Lier!” He spat.

“I didn’t come here to kill you. My medic is seeing to the wounded we captured and we’ll release you to the Resistance once our business here is done.”

“They’re no better than you! They lead you here, didn’t they? They let you leave our capital alive!” He was getting historical. “I won’t make that same mistake!”

Suvi sobbed as she heard russaling of bodies.

She had to get her out of there.

“Please, I just want to talk. I’m going to put my gun down, may I come in and speak with you? Face to face?”

She felt sweat trickle down her neck as she waited for his response.

“... are you alone?” His shaky voice finally filled the silence.

She tried to swallow the nervous lump that’d formed in her throat. “My other teammate is searching the lower labs. It’s just me up here for now.” Honesty was the best play here. Or so she hoped.

Another pause.

“...drop your weapons and come in slowly. I want to see your hands.”

Sara made sure he heard her gun hit the floor and removed her helmet as well. Hadn’t one of her professor lectured about the humanization of eye contact in negotiations? Hopefully that concept carried over into this galaxy.

Surely Jaal had heard the commotion by now. If this really took a turn for the worst, he was her back up.  _ Let’s just hope it doesn't come to that. _

“Okay, I’m coming out.” She announced as she slowly entered the room, her hands palms out and away from her body.

The rest of the lab was just as trashed as the sliver she’d seen before. The scientist from before laid unmoving on the floor, but her eyes flew to the back of the room where the armed angara pulled Suvi- crying uncontrollably- closer to him and the barrel of his gun. 

She saw blood trail down her wet face from an angry cut on her cheek, but the woman seemed mostly unharmed. The same could not be said for the young angara.

The armor on his thigh was chard and a thick river of blood was flowing down his leg despite the bandages in place to stop it. His sea green skin looked ashy and less vibrant than what she was use to seeing and his eyes were glossy and scared. They were the eyes of someone who knew they were dying.

“My name is Sara Ryder, what’s yours?” She tried to keep her voice light and her eyes soft as she held his gaze. She walk further into the room.

“That’s close enough!” He bark, jabbing his gun roughly into Suvi’s temple. 

“Right, okay.” She nodded.

“...Maarle Ta Umbrum.” His eyes seemed to soften for the first time. “My name is Maarle.”

Well that’s some progress.  _ Just take baby steps Sara. _

“Hi Maarle, do you mind if I sit down?” She nodded over to a dented metal stool.

The question seemed to stump him for a second before he nodded slowly. She made sure he could still see her hands and that her movement was measured and smooth as to not startle him or his trigger finger. 

He looked unsure but some of the tension drained from him as he looked down at her now. 

“She’s alive.” He jerked his chin at the prone scientist. “I just hit her enough to knock her out.” He sounded guilty, like he was apologizing to his mother for breaking a vase.

“I’m sure she appreciates not being dead.” She tried to lighten the air before pointing at his leg. “You’re hurt.”

His throat bob as if he was trying to keep his stomach down. “I’ll be fine.”

“Maarle, you want out of here and I want my crewmate back.” She forced her voice to stay tender while her words tired to sort out this mess. “I can bring up one of your squadmates, show you they’re alive and that I’m telling you the truth, and they can take care of you.” Sweat poured down her back. “How does that sound?”

His eyes dropped down as if the answer was on the floor buried under the wreckage. Sara watched his face, trying to make out his thoughts as it shifted between them. He finally looked back up, conviction clear in his eyes.

He opened his mouth but was silenced as a deafening blast ripped through the room and Sara lost his gaze as his head snapped back. 

Time seemed to suddenly crawl as she watched the scene in front of her.

Maarle’s body slumped to the floor, a pool of his blood quickly grew around him and her eyes suddenly refused to look for his gaze again. They knew what they’d find even when her brain didn’t understand it yet.

She saw Suvi’s face, wide and twisted with horror, mouth open in a scream as she fell like a cut puppet to the ground. It was only then that Sara realized the deafening ringing in her ears and the aching chill that settled into her bones. She was aware enough to think to turn and saw Jaal, face stern and rifle smoking, crouched in the doorway.

He just- but she was about to- they’d almost-

Her mind sputtered, unable to settle on one thought- not even anger.

Her body moved on its own, somehow knowing what needed to be done as she crouched in front of Suvi, using her body to block the officer’s eyes from the carnage behind her. The woman’s uniform and face was splattered with blue and other bits her eyes refused to focus on.

Sara though she said something then, but even her own voice was muffled nonsense in her ears. Whatever it had been, it must have been the right thing to say because Suvi gave a weak nod and gave Sara her shaking hand. She focused on her straining muscles, grounding herself in the pain as she held the limp officer in her arms and carried her across the room.

She saw Jaal kneeling, checking on the angara scientist, but snapped her eyes up before he could meet them. She couldn’t look at him right now, not with her hands trembling, not with her gut about to empty itself, and not with her thoughts clawing at her mind.

Her body got them out of the building but the open air didn’t get the smell of blaster discharge and blood out of her nose. The wild song of the jungle didn’t erase the ringing of gunfire form her ear, and the rain couldn’t quit manage to wash the blood from them. 

Sara managed to find Lexi in her half cognitive state and gently settled Suvi in to be seen to.

Before the doctor could get a good look at her, Sara snuck away, locked the Tempest’s bathroom door behind her, and emptied out her stomach. She sat there, hunched over the cool toilet bowl until her heaving turned dry.

Minutes or hours pass- she wasn’t sure- but her skin finally protested against the dry sweat that begun to itch. She got back to her feet and found her way to the sink- losing pieces of her armor as she went.

She didn’t care that steam rolled off the water when she turned the knob. She didn’t care that it burned as she collected it into her hands, and she didn’t care that it stung as she splashed her face. 

Her eyes finally found themselves in the mirror’s reflection. The green and gray slid from being her own to the sorrowful ones of her brother’s.

_ “Come on sis, you gotta get out of your head. Look, how about we go out to that restaurant you like so much.” _

_ She huffed at his offer as she buried her swollen face further into her covers. “I really don’t feel like it. Maybe another time. I just- I just can’t right not.” _

_ She felt the bed dip as he stiffly settled beside her. _

_ “Come on, help me out here. I’m not use to being on this side of the comfort. You’re going to have to tell me what to do.” He laid a heavy yet comforting hand on her back. “...Is this okay?” _

_ A wet chuckle snuck out of her throat. “Yeah, that feels nice.” _

_ He gave her an awkward pat. “Should we… do you want to eat in? I can order us something- like food and I think that documentary- that one you were talking about- I think it got released to the net. I bet I can find it for us.” _

_ She sniffed, whipping at her wet face as she sat up. “Yeah, that sounds nice.” _

_ Her brother perked up, relieved to be on the right track. _

_ “Yes! Yeah I can do that.” He jumped up. “Just wait here-” He tucked her sheets around her and scooted her tissue box closer to her. “I’ll be right back.” _

She listlistly watched her eyes as the fog slowly engulfed them.

Sara shook her head, trying to dislodge the sludge that threaten to weigh down her heart. This was her first mission, if the death of one person was enough to break her then her team and the rest of the Initiative were doomed. The angara’s eyes, scared and desprit, tired to surface in her mind but she pushed them back down. She thought of her brother and forced her thoughts to remember his face and his voice. She used his weight to push back her memories of the blood and gore, the sick wet noises, and the eyes that looked out- dull and lifeless. She wrestled with the images until she backed them into the deepest corner of her mind where her box of unwanted thought quietly rested and stuffed them inside. There, they would sit with the images of Prodromos and the bodies left to rot in the sand and dust. There, they could rot with the images of Fisher begging for his life as the kett executed him on his knees.

She wiped at the fogged over mirror, her palm swiping a clear path. A face stared back at her- tired, yet firmly set- undaunted. The eyes that looked back at her now, they weren’t the mournful eyes of her brother. No, the ones that looked back at her were cold storms and hungry seas.

The hard eyes of her father stared back at her and reminded her that she had a mission and she was not done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this was suppose to be a fun smutty story. Where’d all this heavy shit come from? It’s coming, I promise. We just have to get through the angst first.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The response to this project has been so amazing! I’ve loved hearing your thoughts and I can’t wait to see what you think about this one. It took the most editing but might be my favorite one so far.  
Updates will, unfortunately, be less frequent after this. This story is so much fun to write but I’ve had less and less time to work on it. Don’t worry though. I still plan on working on this, Sara and Jaal are just too sweet to stay away from, but these massive chapters take time to write and a ton of time to edit.  
In between updates, I plan on posting my little test chapters as oneshots and will hopefully tie you over until the next chapter ;)

The fist came too slow and Sara easily side stepped it, watching as Suvi toppled forward onto the mat with a yelp.

“You're leaning into it too much.” She chided as the officer got back up. “You have to keep your weight low and centered.” Sara bent into a simi-crouch and rocked her knees to demonstrate. “Try again.”

Suvi nodded as she copied the stance, taking the chance to try and catch her breath before she threw another punch. Sara brought the training mit up to absorb the blow. She carefully watched the officer’s stance.

Two nights after they left Havarl, Sara had caught Suvi nervously pacing the hall outside her door. The science officer explained that she couldn’t sleep and couldn’t work without thinking someone was behind her. She apologized for her nerves but confessed that she was terrified. 

She was seeing ghosts of attackers in the shadows and still feeling the cold press of the gun barrel at her temple.

She wanted her safety back.

Sara, tired from her own lack of sleep, let out a sigh but finally told her to change out of her uniform and meet her in the cargo bay, she knew what the officer needed.

“Come on, keep it up.” Sara spurred as she circled around the mat. “Don’t settle into one spot. Move.”

Suvi nodded with a winded huff as she hesitantly felt out her steps.

The science officer was slowing down but didn’t ask for a break as Sara moved her around the mat. She pushed Suvi back a few steps and saw the exhaustion in her eyes as the officer threw her next set of punches.

“Come on, one more set. Don’t slow down!”

Suvi’s breath came in ragged gasps as she grunted with every swing, but each had weight behind it.

“That’s good for now.” Sara ended the session as the redhead sat heavily on the mat taking in huge gulps of air, her energy complete drained.

“You’re getting better.” Sara praised as she slipped off her mits. “You got in another set this time.”

“I- I can’t imagine- what you have- have to go- through- for your- training.” Suvi puffed out.

Sara let out a thin chuckle as she put away their equipment. “It’s a little different.” She then nodded to the small, silver sphere at the top of the bay. “I’ll set you up with the training holo when you’ve gotten the basics down.”

“I’ve seen Cora- train with it before shifts- but I- never see you down- here.” 

Sara shrugged as she helped Suvi unwrap her knuckles. “I prefer the sleep cycles. Less traffic.”

She nodded then shyly looked away. “I ah… would you mind- if its not imposing- if I… just… watched?”

Sara saw the tightness in Suvi’s shoulders and the nervous clinching of her hands. Sara forced her eyes to soften as she patted the officer’s shoulder. “I would love the company.”

Sara wasn’t blind to the growing dark circles under the woman’s eyes or deft to the hushed conversations that came from the med bay. Suvi had survived a hostel situation and sleep was the first of many things she would lose. If Sara’s nightly sparing helped distract the officer from her own nightmares then who was she to turn her away.

Suvi gave her a small smile. “Thank you, Ryder. For… well… everything.” Her eyes fell back to the floor. “I know…  _ this _ ... hasn’t been easy for you either.”

Sara suddenly felt uncomfortable as she busied herself with tidying up. “You don’t need to worry about me.” 

“I know, but I… I feel like this whole thing has been… cruel to you and… and I just want you to know that…” Suvi nervously rung her hands together. “That we don’t expect you to be like... that we aren’t…  _ disappointed _ or- or  _ mad _ at you for-“

Sara placed her hand gently on her shoulder, stopping her. Suvi wasn’t talking about what happened on Havral anymore and she didn’t have the energy to handle what the officer was about to say next. 

Not now at least.

“Suvi, please...” Sara met her eyes, pleading for her to understand, before turning them away. “Let’s finish this up and see if there’s any of Drack’s roast left in the cooler.”

Suvi’s sorrowful eyes brighten up at the mention of food. “Why Ryder,  _ roast _ for breakfast? I thought you Citadels folks were a cultured lot.” She tisked at her.

Sara let a little smile pull on her lips, something she felt like she hadn’t done in weeks, and was happy for the lighter air. “Oh, we are most  _ certainly _ finely cultured people, my dear.” Sara flipped her hand exaggerating the joke. “But no person, no matter how fine, could miss the opportunity to partake in such a  _ delicacy _ .”

Suvi’s face finally split into a full smile. “We’ve been on meal bars for too long if we’re considering _bug_ _roast_ a delicacy.” She let out a soft laugh.

Sara’s chest felt lighter as she let the officer’s contagious laugh wash over her. “I’ve never understood why grounders have such a hang up with bugs.” She shook her head as they made their way out of the hold. “I’d give  _ anything _ for a bag of spicy  _ kholl  _ right about now _ .” _

She laughed when Suvi shivered in disgust. “Strange spacer. Now what you really need it a good old-fashioned-”

The officer suddenly stopped in the doorway, her body going stiff and Sara saw why as she nearly collided with her shoulder.

They’d missed the bubbly conversation that come rolling from the mess hall as Liam waved his hands around, dramatically telling a story to the person who sat across from him. Which happened to be the very angara she’d been avoiding for the past few days.

Sara’s blood froze as their conversation stumbled and enormous blue eyes fell on her-

_ -and the kid’s impossibly wild eyes turned back to her, hooded as his face turned stony. Determination had hardened them as uncertainty and fear drained away, leaving them dark and hollow. _

_ His intent was clear. _

_ She’d lost. _

_ The echoing shot rang out before the realization could squeeze her heart- _

“-normally up at this time.” Liam’s words finally reached her.

She forced her mind to come back to the present as she ignored her souring stomach and seating palm. Two Initiative officers were watching her. They looked to their Pathfinder for guidance and at how she treated their new alien guest. What she did and said mattered.

She couldn’t lose herself. Not here.

“Sorry Liam, I zoned out. What were you saying?” She forced a smile on her face as she apologized.

The man hesitated, giving her a searching look before deciding to let it go. “I was saying that it's odd seeing you up at this time.” His face pulled into a wide, if not a little insincere, smile. “Not quite awake yet?”

He could clearly see that Suvi had been training and it was no jump in logic to assume that Sara had been helping her, but he was ignoring all that to give her an out from her blunder.

Perhaps she hadn’t given the bombastic officer enough credit before. Maybe he did know how to read a room.

“I’m still on Milky Way time, I think.” She tried to joke.

Jaal’s deep grunt almost made her jump. “You will need to be well rested and at full strength if you are to face the challenges of Vold.” His piercing eyes had yet to leave her but she kept her head as she met them this time. “You will need your energy.”

She forced herself to not look away as she gave him a curt nod and a tight smile. “We’ll exit FTL soon. Will Evfra still be briefing us?”

She could feel Suvi move about the kitchen and Liam fidget as the room’s heavy air pressed on them.

Jaal took a slow gulp of his rationed paste and nodded. “He is due to alert me at any-“ His omnitool lit up, notifying him to a new message. “... moment.” He finished as he skimmed the screen.

He took one last mouthful of his meal before standing and nodding to her.

It was time to speak to the general. 

* * *

Sara stood in a fresh uniform, hair neatly rearranged, and her shoulders squared as the image of Evfra flickered in front of her. He’d skipped the pleasantries as he immediately addressed Jaal, who didn’t seem phased by his leader’s short patience. She barely had the chance to feel offended at being ignored before his scared face turned to her. His sharp eyes felt absolutely piercing as they bore into her own, but she held them, refusing to turn away.

He was silent and his stony exterior told her little of his thoughts, but finally he spoke. 

“I do not trust you or this Initiative of your’s.” His voice was low as he growled out the words. “I have no doubt our people will shoot the other in the back the moment resources and territory come into question. My people already struggle. Our war with the kett demands everything from us, yet you come to us asking for more. I do not trust you, but…” His scrutinizing eyes shifted. “I’ve seen the reports from Havarl. You were true to your word.”

_ That _ caught her off guard. 

“The science team noted your competent handling of the Rokar and have confirmed your success with the Reminet. You moved fast and come out victorious over an enemy with greater numbers.” He’s gaze turned hard again. “I do not trust you, but, for the moment, we share the same enemy and that will have to do for now.”

The hologram of him turned as he swiped over his console. A familiar map of Vold pulled up but unfamiliar markers and routes dotted it.

“My scouts believe that the Moshi is being held here.” The image of the map flickered as it was replaced by a snow covered landscape with an intimidating complex in the distance. “The kett take prisoners in, but none come out. An energy field protects it. We’re on the verge of cracking the encryption but with our forces spread so thin, we don’t have the numbers to devote to such a task. Other pressing matters on Vold need-“

Jaal slammed his fist down on the table. “What is more pressing then rescuing our people? Are you giving up on the Moshi?” He bellowed disbelieving. “Evfra, you can not be serious!”

The general turned back to Jaal, and though his body stayed tense and rigid, his eyes looked almost… tired. “I have not given up on her, but I can not send my soldiers away on another suicide mission. We’ve lost enough men and resources obtaining the information we  _ do _ have. Would she want us to throw away more lives to try and reach her?”

Jaal snarled in frustration as he threw back harsh words that Sara’s translator didn’t understand. 

She looked back and forth between the two, angry and weary with loss. She’d never known war, never had to fear for the future of her species until waking up in this galaxy. Their sorrow though, the way they were already morning this Moshi- she knew loss and the aching emptiness it brought.

As the two argued about impossible rescue plans, Sara silently tapped her leg.

_ “Yes, Sara?”  _ SAM’s synthesized voice played through her personal channel.

_Can you do something about that shielding? _She tapped out, pleased that the AI understood the old human code.

He was quiet for just a second.  _ “It is likely a similar system to those we’ve seen before. If I can access the algorithms they’ve already formulated, I have 76.09% chance of temporarily bypassing the security.” _

Sara kept her face neutral as she weighed the gamble.  _ If _ they could get to the facility and  _ if _ they could find the Moshi was a tactical problem all its own, but revealing SAM to her less than friendly allies would lead to questions, ones she would rather not answer. The hardwired chip in her skull now weighed constantly on her mind as she thought of new scenarios in which someone could use the AI to get to her. SAM was well protected and the program had ways to defend itself, but no one was infallible, not even her father’s pet project.

The angara’s arguing turned into shouting as her presence was, again, forgotten. 

She could think of a cover for him. Tell them just enough without jeopardizing herself, but as soon as her mind started fabricating stories, she stopped herself. Her gloves pulled tight around her knuckles as she gripped her fists, mentally scolding herself. They had one shot at this, if she screwed it up by being caught in a lie to save her own skin… her stomach soured at the thought. 

_ Selfish child _ , a voice hissed in her ear, one that wasn’t SAM.

Sara took a deep breath as she felt her heart begin to race out of control and her fingertips tingle with her biotics.

No, the angara hadn’t had a choice when she crash landed in their city. She’d taken their peace of mind that day by endangering their last safe harbor. There wasn’t any way to give back that knowledge, but maybe… she could level the scales. 

Mentally returning to the conference, Sara found that things hadn’t improved. Their shouts echoed off the ship’s walls and her translator didn’t know what to do with the few words she could make out. 

She stepped closer to the display table and clearing her throat, to no effect. Her “excuse me” was similarly washed over as their anger only seemed to gain more momentum. 

_ You gotta think like Alic. Like a Pathfinder, idot. _

Steeling herself, Sara let a small ball of energy collect in her chest then released it.

The crackling wave washed over the room and she watched, with some satisfaction, as Jaal jumped with a startled gasp. His words were cut off as he spun and pinned her with a look of mixed surprise and fury.

She’d worry about his temper later, this was her only chance to get a word in.

“General.” She tried to sound firm as she addressed the hologram. “I apologize for interrupting, but I believe I may have a way to help bring down that shield.”

That caught his attention. His body turned fully towards her.

She continued before she could be stopped. “It would not be a large opening or for a long time, but I believe it could be enough to get a small team inside quietly.”

His eyes narrowed with doubt. “And what miracle are you claiming you can perform now?”

She licked her cracked lips. “We have a…” she clasped her hands behind her back to hide their trembling. “We have an AI that, together with your team, may be enough to break the kett’s encryption.”

Evfra’s eyes snapped back to Jaal, looking for confirmation she knew he wouldn’t find.

“The Milky Way has a… less than pleasant history with artificial intelligence. We… don’t like talking about them, so you’ll have to forgive our… hesitancy on the matter.” She swallowed the lump in her throat.

Jaal threw his arm out, snarling. “I have heard no talk of such a thing and have seen no evidence of-”

_ “Permission to speak Pathfinder?” _ SAM’s artificial voice hummed from the overhead coms.

Sara saw Jaal’s body tense but refused to meet his glare. “Go ahead, SAM.”

_ “I can more accurately calculate our chances of success once I have access to the data collected thus far.”  _ The general’s face was unreadable as SAM continued.  _ “It is the unidentified variables inside that I am most concerned about. I highly advise you to proceed with caution.” _

Evfra nodded grimly as he silently stared off, contemplating. Jaal moved to talk but was silenced as the general raised his hand.

The quiet room felt heavy as they waited for the angara to speak.

“... You will go to the eastern base.” A new point pinged on the displayed map. “I will inform Commander Do Xeel of your arrival. You’re AI will be given what information our team has gathered and  _ if  _ it can break the code…she will know what to do with you.” His eyes then snapped to Jaal. “And I will speak to  _ you  _ later.”

The image of the general blinked out without a farewell and without his overbearing presence, the room suddenly felt too quiet and too large. A hand engulfed her arm before she could give a sigh of relief.

“What is the meaning of this Pathfinder!” Jaal jerked her around and snarraled in her face.

She tried pulling her arm away but his grip only tightened. Energy crackled hot against her skin.

“That hurts.” She forced her face to stay neutral and her voice calm. 

“Tell me what you are playing at! What is this!” He growled out, ignoring her. 

“You’re getting your chance to rescue your people. Isn’t this what you wanted?”

He bristled. “Not with lies!”

“I’ve not lied to you”

“No.” He scuffed. “You have just kept this-“ he waved to the com speakers, “from me.”

“As I said, AI’s are a difficult subject for us. We don’t discuss them openly.” She met his burning eyes and forced her voice to stay diplomatic. “It was not my intention to hide this from you.”

“Yet it was hidden!”

She tried to keep herself from wincing as his grip became crushing.

“I apologize if that’s how it seems. That wasn’t my goal.”

He scuffed but finally released her.

“You would do well to remember that you are here  _ only _ because of our generosity.”

Jaal gave her one last burning glare before turning and storming away.

Left in the wake of his anger, Sara leaned against the console rubbing her bruised arm. She tried to calm the trembling energy in her chest as her biotics reacted to his threatening words. Sara took a deep breath in through her nose, held it, then slowly released it through her mouth. With each exhale the static slowly settled back into its passive hum, but one thought kept beating itself against her skull. 

_ Stupid girl! You should’ve just kept your mouth shut. You thought the truth would be kind? That you were being kind? Ha! Haven’t you been paying attention? This is a war, and there is no room for kindness here! _

The sharp thoughts cut at her heart and she suddenly felt the weight of her sleepless nights as she slowly pushed herself up and descended the stairs. 

A rumbling huff met her at the bottom.

“Want me to take care of him?” Drack ground out.

The old krogan’s eagerness to defend her would have normally brought a smile to her face, but she was too tired to put any real effort into it.

“Don’t worry about it.” She kept her eyes forward as she walked past him, not wanting to meet his concerned look.

He let out a sigh. “If he gives you any more trouble…” The unsaid threat hung in the air as he caught up to her.

Sara really didn’t feel like analyzing the old man’s hovering as they moved to the lower levels of the ship. She had to keep her mind straight for whatever was going to meet them when they landed, because this miserable galaxy had taught her that it had no shortage of creative ways to kill them. Letting the anger of one person distract her could get her and her entire crew killed.

And she was done with seeing people die.

* * *

Vold, as it turned out, was hell frozen over.

The short walk from the icy landing pad to the angara base had only exposed her to the planet’s elements for just a few short yards, but the wind had torn through her armor and had immediately triggered her support systems. Though her mind was focused on making her shivering limbs work, she didn’t miss the glares and scrutinizing distance the resistance soldiers gave them as they entered the base.

The planet wasn’t the only thing that was going to be hostile to her and her team.

Shaking off the ice, Sara quickly follow Jaal as he silently lead them further into the station. But the chill lingered in her bones as she realized they were being led underground.

Hallways had been carved out of the icy hillside and adorned with odd bits of technology. Pipes and wiring peeked out of the frozen ceiling while sheets of paneling sporadically lined the more populated walkways. Other pathways branched off, what she could only guess, to other levels of the station. 

Sara forced her breathing to stay even and slow. The low ceiling and crowded hallways threatened to suffocate her. The way the walls shuddered as ships landed above them made her mind numb with fear and the need to run, to get out, was overwhelming. It was too easy to feel like she was back  _ there.  _ Back to being a scared child, trapped and hurt. 

Her scars burned with phantom pain.

_ You are here. You are not trapped. Just breathe.  _ Sara chanted to herself trying to ground her mind as panic threaten to wash her away. She focused on the cold that pricked her skin, the crunch of gravel under her boot, and the smell of gun oil and unwashed bodies. Anything to keep her memories from stealing her mind.

The narrow corridor finally opened to a wide, bustling room that buzzed with chatter as orders were shouted and received. Large terminals blinked with unfamiliar maps and unreadable text while the angara seated in front of them shouted into headsets.

Sara was so focused on her mantra that she almost missed movement to their right as one of the technicians twisted around. The woman’s face light up when she saw Sara’s group. Her skin was a beautiful pale violet and golden markings decorated her face giving her a regal air, but as they got closer, Jaal stiffened in front of her.

Though she couldn’t see his face, his body looked tense, muscles coiled as if he wanted to leap at the woman but struggled to hold himself still. Sara realized they knew each other, but before either could say a word a booming voice silenced the room.

“This way aliens!” a grim faced woman waved them on through the crowded room. “I’ve got a war to win and you crowinding my halls isn’t going to help!”

Jaal hesitated for only a second before he followed, leaving the technician to stare longingly after him. Sara, having witnessed the strange encounter, forced her bubbling questions down before she could blurt them out. 

Now was not the time.

They were led to a round terminal where the commanding angara waited impatiently. A younger, nervous looking scout stood beside her holding a data pad and scanned Sara with a skeptical eye.

“Right, let’s get the pleasantries over with.” The woman sighed. “I’m commander Do Xeel and if you think you can do something about that  _ skutting  _ barrier then you better prove it to me right now or get out of my satiation.” 

Sara nodded, unfazed by the gruff commander. “May I see what you have of the encryption?”

“Rail, give them what they need.” Do Xeel roughly slapped the scout on the back, nearly knocking the boy to the ground. 

“The code changes every half cycle.” He explained after righting himself. “We received the refreshed code just moments ago.” He gestured to the small team of angara behind him at the terminal. “I was told that you think your AI can help?”

He sounded so anxious, so scared to hope that she had the answers, but hopeful nonetheless.

Sara stepped forward, resting her hand on the computer and opening her omnitool’s interface. “SAM?”

_ “I will do everything I can, Pathfinder.”  _ The screen blinked before the program spoke again. “ _ Processing _ .”

Alien text and coding crowded the screen and Sara was nearly knocked over as Rail pushed past her to stare open mouthed at the display.

“You’re already past their second firewall?” He questioned, unbelieving. “How are you- that’s… that’s- stars above!”

He slid into a chair and began furiously typing at the console and his team soon followed. Sara watched their faces switch from frustration to surprise to determination as the seconds ticked by. 

Sara forced her face to stay neutral while her gut twisted itself into knots. This wasn’t an enemy she could fight or a person she could out think. She was completely out of her dept, but Scott would be right at home racing the AI and talking code with the angara. He’d have theories on the kett shielding and be devising ways to dive further into its data. Right now, Sara felt like she was nothing more than a human flashdrive. SAM was the one who did the real work, she just made sure she survived long enough to get him to the next kett computer or the next terraforming network. If the AI had been lucky enough to have been placed in her brother’s head… the whole Initiation would’ve been better off.

She was brought out of her thoughts by a gasp.

The scrolling text stilled, the screen now a soft orange as the room grew eerily silent.

“Is that…” Do Xeel breathed out before the station erupted into shouts of triumph. The commander’s hand came down hard on Sara’s shoulder as defining laughter rang in her ears.

The entire station roared to life as Do Xeel drug her along shouting out new commands. Sara was caught up in a whirlwind as strategies and plans were made while troops and vehicles were reassigned.

They had just 26 hours to cross 657 kilometers of frozen badlands undetected.

It was time to get to work.

* * *

The Nomad crawled over the steep snow bank with ease. Her passengers rocked with the tilting vehicle, the cabin silent except for the howling wind that beat against its sides. Sara sat, solemnly staring out the window as Liam manned the wheel. Jaal and Peebee lounged quietly in the back, having run out of subjects for small talk hours ago. 

Sara had divided her crew to better work with the resistance. Cora and Vetra would be leading their extraction while Drack waited with the diversion team. Sara would be coming in low and quiet with the Nomad once she met with the angara scouts from the resistance’s southern base. They were to rest and restock at a hidden supply station in a few hours, or rather, that  _ had  _ been the plan.

Until the call came.

She watched the snow banks drift by, exhausted from her panic under the confining base and just enjoying the freedom of the open landscape when Jaal suddenly snapped to attention. She twisted in her seat and saw him frown as he put a finger to the side of his head, concentrated on listening. When he finally spoke into his communicator, she couldn’t understand his words, but she could clearly hear the panic in his voice.

She shared a worried glance with Peebee who shrugged. Her translator wasn’t picking anything up either.

Jaal took a deep, grounding breath before speaking again. “I will take care of it.” Jaal leaned heavily on his elbows staring blankly at the floor of the Nomad.

Peebee shifted nervously beside him, obviously unsure how to address his distress. “Uh… everything okay?”

He remained silent for an uncomfortable second. “That was…” his fists clenched and unclenched with… nerves? “That was Do Xeel. A kett message was intercepted detailing a base not far from here. They have…” Though his face was turned down, she could still see his shoulders stiffen as he struggled to find words. “They have captured a scouting party and they… they are scheduled to be... transported...  _ soon.”  _

_ And we are the only ones who can stop them in time, _ Sara filled in the blanks.

She felt sorrow lodge itself in her chest but a persistent thought pushed past the discomfort.

Was the general really willing to risk this entire operation just to save a scouting team? Sara felt heartless for the thought, but they were racing against the clock to meet with the others. This plan was riding on each moving part’s perfect execution, so why risk it? It didn’t make tactical sense.

Sara started to open her mouth to voice her doubts but then snapped it shut. They were already on thin ice here and questioning the officer’s orders would only cause them more trouble. 

So she gave Liam a nod and silently settled back into her seat trying to push down the worry that churned in her gut as the Nomad drove on to its new destination.

* * *

Crouching in the snow, Sara slowly looked through the scope of her rifle as she came to the top of the ridge. Below, nestled against the edge of a cliff and the mountain side, a small supply ship sat on a snowy landing pad that jutted out from an unmarked bunker. A tall fuel tank stood among blinking radio towers that shook in the blustery winds. The wide walkways held containers in various stages of unloading and the handful of Kett soldiers who were tending to them.

She saw weapons and supplies but no angara. 

_ Probably keeping them further in. _

“Peebee, SAM.” She tapped the side of her helm and her com chirped to life. “Are you picking up any radio chatter?”

“Yeah and it’s not awesome.” Peebee’s voice came through.

_ “There appears to be another ship inbound.” _ The AI said.  _ “They are approximately twelve minutes out and it is likely that they will be heavily armed.” _

“Any idea how many they’ve already got down there? I’m seeing eight on the runway from here. Are you getting anything from inside the building?”

“I can’t tell over here, temperatures are all over the place.” Peebee cursed. “I can’t get an accurate read. Maybe four maybe twenty inside?”

Sara did  _ not  _ have a good feeling about this.

Liam whistled. “I’m seeing  _ big  _ guns.” 

“Jaal, what kind of defenses am I looking at?” She asked.

The channel was silent for a few seconds before he finally spoke. “I… do not know.” 

“You’ve seen one of these before, right?” 

“... No, I have not. These bases are… new.”

She closed her eyes and slowly let her breath out through her nose.

There were too many unknown variables here. She didn’t know how many enemies were waiting for them down there or where they were keeping the prisoners. She didn’t know if they would be able to fight once they were released or what condition they would be in. If there were any injured they’d only slow them down and, with that incoming ship, their time was quickly slipping away.

If they messed up, this could completely ruin their main objective. She would lose the only fragment of trust she had with the angara and that hidden volt on Aya would be lost to her forever. She couldn’t afford that risk and neither could the Initiative.

She let out a heavy sigh. “I’m calling this off.”

Jaal shouted. “No! We can st-”

“We don’t have the resources or the intel to do this. I’m sorry, but it's too dangerous.” The channel was surprisingly quiet as Sara put her rifle away. “We’ll meet back up at the Nomad. We still have time to hit that refueling station and-”

“Mate what are you- No, wait! Stop!” Liam’s panicked voice came through.

“What’s going on?” Her blood began to pump with unease. “Liam?”

“I- shit! It’s Jaal! He just ran off!”

_ No, no, no!  _ Sara whipped her gun back out and scanned the snowy ridge to try and convince herself that he was wrong, but then she saw it. Jaal was clocked but she could see the telltale shimmer and the cloud of snow his mad dash was making.

_ He’s going to get us all killed! _

_ “Khovek ma’hall!  _ Peebee, Liam, watch my back!” She snarled as she too activated her cloak. Her biotics launched her forward as she carefully picked her way between the bits of rock that stuck out of the hillside, leaving the snow completely undisturbed. 

She could hear gunfire and shouting on the platforms below as she tucked and landed with a silent roll. Sara came up and saw Jaal stab a kett soldier in the side before darting around the corner out of sight. Two more raced past Sara’s hiding spot, weapons drawn and aimed at the angara. She fired off three shots, one hitting the left one in the head and the last two hollowed out the right’s chest. Both crumpled to the grated walkway, dead.

“Jaal, stop!”

Her cloaking timed out as she tried to follow Jaal around the corner but stumbled back when bullets whizzed past her head.

“Jaal! You’re going to get yourself killed!”  _ And us, you reckless bastard! _

But the channel remained silent.

_ Fine _ . “I’m pinned! Peebee, Liam, whe-“

A grenade went off sending debris flying past her.

“The pathway’s clear.” Liam’s voice rang in her helmet. 

“Careful with those! There’s fuel lines everywhere!” She cautioned as she sprinted down the now smoking catwalk scanning for any signs of where Jaal went. The metal door to the bunker was wide open, swaying in the icy wind. Sara took the chance and raced inside.

The lights were dim and the gray walls moaned and creaked. She didn’t slow down as she jumped over fallen kett bodies and the pools of blood they laid in. 

There was no doubt that Jaal had came through here.

She followed the carnage down a level taking the steps two at a time. The landing was identical to the upper deck, but grim coated the floor and discolored water seeped from cracks in the wall. She was glad her helmet filtered the air.

Slowing her frantic pace, Sara made her way carefully around the darkened hall giving each passing room a quick sweep before moving on.  Finally she heard curses echo down the hall.

“- _ skutting _ kett!” She saw Jaal hunched over a panel in front of an orange energy field. “Na’har, just hold on! I will get you out!”

“I can’t believe you’re here!” A younger voice spoke from the other side. “We didn’t think they’d send anyone for us.”

“I...I will explain later.”

Sara started jogging down when movement in the shadows behind him caught her eye. 

“Jaal! Get down!” Sara shouted as she raised her rifle.

He twisted just in time to see the gleam of the gun in the dark and dove to the floor. A blaster bolt light up the hall and she shot into the darkness. A pained grunt was her only sign that her bullets hits its mark, but they weren’t done yet. She threw up a barrier as she slid in front of Jaal catching the next round. When their attacker saw their shots had missed, a furious bellow rattled the walls and something  _ big _ charged towards them from the shadows.

She felt the hit to her barrier before she saw the snarling face of the kett that towered over them. It was almost twice the size of any kett she’d seen, and its fists came down like a Thresher Mawl.

“Get them-” The fist crashed down again. “-out of here!”

He hesitated.

“Now!” Sara pushed her energy into one last burst. A massive shock wave rocketed forward shaking the walls and sending the monster flying backwards.

She didn’t look back to see if Jaal moved as she charged forward. She could barely make out the beast’s outline in the dark as she fired. She wasn’t going to give it a chance to get to its feet, but the bullets bounced off its bony armor like pebbles.

It was back up and Sara bairly ducked in time as its tree trunk arm swiped at her head. It roared and charged at her. She activated her omni-blade with a flick of her wrist and narrowly dodged as the kett crashed into the wall. Saliva dripped from its snarling teeth and it’s milky eyes were wild with fury. Her blade struck out and it howled as the sharp edge connected. It clawed at its face as blood bubbled out of the slash where its eye use to be. It swung its fists blindly, rampaging.

Sara managed to dance just out of its reach, trying to lead it away from the cells.

The kett thrashed wildly but she was faster and slid out of its reach. She slashed at the space between its plating but the artificial blade bounced off harmlessly. She missed. A whoosh of air left her as its leg kicked out at her and caught her squarely in the chest plate, sending her flying further down the hall.

Wheezing, Sara forced herself to her elbows just as monstrous arms grabbed her. They lifted her off the ground like a doll and squeezed her. Forcing the small amount of air out of her lungs in a pained gasp, she was slammed back into the wall. She kicked out only to met empty air and her fists beat uselessly against its armor. Her head spun and her mind couldn’t focus enough to pull at her biotics. She began to panic as her vision blurred.

_ I’m going to die if I didn’t think of something. _

Grasping at the last of her strength, she pulled her knees up and kicked that the socket. Her boot scuffed it the first and second time. She clawed for any scrap of power and pushed it out with her next kick. The weak wave of biotics was enough to cut into the soft flesh of the joint. It bellowed in pain, dropping her to the ground as it clutched its limp limb.

She had just a second to greedily grasp in air before rolling away as a foot came crashing down, denting the floor. The roll turned into a crouch as she focused her biotics into the balls of her feet and hurled herself at its back. She grappled for a perch as it twisted, trying to fling her off. It’s arm was too thick to fully reach her and she used its disorientation. Her omni-blade shimmered in the darkness as she brought it down, plunging it deep between its armored plating. The monster gave out a gurgling howl as it throw itself back against the wall, but Sara shifted her weight, twisting the blade deeper while avoiding being fully crushed under its mass. She could feel the heat from its blood as it gushed out, threatening her grip as it flowed over her gloved hand. Gritting her teeth, Sara gave her blade one last thrust before letting her biotics collect in her fist, then released it. The sound of bones crunching and heavy wet splattering filled her ears as the beast took two stumbling steps forward before its body grew limp. It crumpled to the floor, dead. 

Sara pulled the blade out and stumbled away. Her stomach threatened to come up, but she swallowed it down before falling to her knees. She let her broken body sink further to the floor, letting the cool metal seep through her armor as she gasped in air.

But her silence was broken when her earpiece chirp to life.

“ _ Pathfinder _ ,” SAM sounded almost hesitant in her ear.

Sara gasped out. “Go…ahead”

“I regret to inform you that you have broken one of your ribs and have fractured three others.”

She’d figured that from how painful breathing was.

“How's the… rest of the team?” She winced as she rolled over and stumbled to her feet.

“The base’s occupants have been neutralized and your ground team has sustained no injuries.” She nodded, walking down the hall using the wall to keep herself upright. “But, Pathfinder I should warn you-“

The entire hall shook as she heard a booming explosion outside.

“-your twelve minutes are up.”

* * *

A band contracted in his chest as he ran up the grime coated stairs. He hadn’t made it this far just to lose his nephew now. He prayed his ancestors would forgive him as he jogged to catch up to his scouts, forcing his eyes to stay forward and his hands to stop shaking.

He could no longer hear the fighting and fear filled his heart. Ryder had proven herself on Havarl, but to take on a kett three times her size without backup…

He might’ve well killed her himself.

The scouts moved quickly, ascending the stairs two at a time, only pausing to spit at the kett bodies he’d left on the ground. The sound of gunfire and shouting could finally be heard as they made it to the upper level and Jaal finally reactivated him communicator.

“Liam, I have the scouts. Have you secured the entrance?”

A humorless chuckle rang through. “Oh ho,  _ now  _ you decide to pop back in the conversation?” The human scuffed. “Crazy alien just running off, doing as he likes-”

“Liam…”

“-scaring the bloody hell out of us-”

“Please-”

“-and making me freeze my balls off on this god forsaken planet-”

“You may lecture me  _ after  _ we are out of here.”

“Oh you can count on that, pal.” Jaal could hear the taunting smile in his voice. “We’ve drawn them away, but-” an explosion shook the building as Liam’s curse came through Jaal’s earpiece. “-their friends decided to join the party.”

Jaal baird his teeth as he mentally punched himself for not being faster, but there was nothing he could do about that now.

“We are coming.”

He pushed his way past the soldiers, blinking as the snow covered yard peeked through the swinging door. The white blanket would normally be beautiful if it wasn’t littered with mangled bodies, patches of blood, and black smoking debris. Gun raised, Jaal cautiously crept out onto the walkway before signaling the others to follow. They fell into their training quickly, moving out and gathering what weapons the kett had dropped or what could pass as one. Seeing them arm themselves took some of the worry from his heart, but he still took point as he picked up his pace and followed the sound of gunfire, only pausing to duck as the airship passed over.

He found Liam and Peebee huddled behind cover as the kett’s reinforcements moved in, their rifles lighting up with their barrage of bullets. Their escape had yet to be noticed and Jaal intended to take full advantage of their element of surprise. He let a wave of electricity out, warning the scouts of his plan.

Dropping down to a knee, Jaal ignored the biting cold and the rustling of the young soldiers behind him as he raised his rifle and lined up the crosshairs. His current pulsed once, twice, and then his gloved finger squeezed the trigger. Their guns fired in unison and five kett dropped lifeless to the ground. He sprinted to new cover as the guards turned their guns on them.

He settled into his old rhythm easily as he fired, moved, and reloaded. It was as familiar as breathing to him now. 

_ Inhale _ , line up a target.

_ Exhale _ , fire.

Though his scope, Jaal watched another kett drop, staining the snow a putrid green before he snapped his head up as he felt something heavy shake the ground behind him. 

A kett laid at his feet, a bullet hole between its eyes.

“You’re losing your edge, old man.” Na’har laughed through tired puffs of breath as he slid in beside him, gun smoking at his side.

Jaal let a proud wave ripple across his current as he let out a deep chuckle. “Hum, perhaps...” His arm snapped up and the kett sneaking around the corner fell to the ground, dead. His  _ firaan  _ buried deep in its chest. “...or perhaps not.”

His nephew huffed. “Mother Yal is right, you’re insufferable when you’re in a good mood.”

Jaal clapped him on the shoulder, ruffer than necessary. “I will be in an even better mood once I have gotten you back the Resistance.”

Giving his arm one last squeeze and a current that begged him to be careful, Jaal retrieved his blade and led them deeper into battle.

The blistering wind nipped at him as he moved swiftly between cover, his alien allies just in sight. Jaal watched, his stomach clenching with nerves, as Liam fended off two guards with his strange synthetic blade while Peebee’s biotics rippled the air. He signaled his nephew to cover him as he pulled out his sidearm and took aim at the kett.

The one about to strike at Liam’s open side stumbled back as Jaal’s shots hit it in its soft shoulder and before it could recover, Liam twisted around, driving his blade deep into its chest.

“Well it’s about damn time mate!” The human huffed out as Jaal took point at his back.

“We need to get out before that airship comes back.” Jaal fired as they retreated back to cover.

Peebee ducked in beside them, exhaustion clear on her face. “And how do you suggest we do that? We weren’t really expecting to carpool!”

“There.” Liam pointed to the cargo ship that rested in the far corner of the platform. “We should be able to-”

Liam's words ended as a wall of heat crashed into them. Jaal was thrown into the air and landed hard on the tarmac, his head ringing and his bones crunching as he crumpled to the cold ground. He tried to lift his spinning head but the world was a blur. Someone shouted at him and spinning shapes pulled at his arm, but his blood roared too loudly in his ears to pay much attention.

The shapes began to swirl and shift until they came together and almost looked like Na’har’s face above him.

The Na’har shapes were smeared with grime and smoke, but Jaal could still see  _ them  _ in his soft eyes and proud cheekbones. He could see his brother’s face, teasing him for asking one of his endless questions.

And he could see  _ her _ .

Kind and noble.

Strong and gentle.

Her ghost haunted his heart, but why was she here now? To sing to him as he joined his ancestors, to tease him for his weakness, or to watch him finally pay for his failures?

For failing her son.

For failing her husband.

For failing  _ her _ .

Black spots swarmed his vision as the Na’har shapes dropped him, hard, as new shapes crashed into them. Jaal smelled gunsmoke and blood. He desperately grasped at his senses, trying to claw through the fog in his brain. White hot pain shot up his arm as he tried to get his limbs underneath him and he tasted blood as he bit back a scream. The pain cut through the haze just enough for him to find himself and push his body forward. 

As he pulled himself though the ash and snow, his world slowly came back into focus. The roar of thrusters ripped through the air as the kett’s airship hovered above the cliffside, raining bullets down on the base. He chest filled with panic as he heard them tear through the metal, their screams growing more shrill as they drew closer.

And he let out a cry of horror as he saw his nephew on the ground, pinned under a kett in the bulletstorm merciless path. Deaf to his yelling, Na’har struggled under its weight as the armored alien loomed above him, their hands clawing at the other as they grappled for a gun that laid beside them. Jaal’s body tried to move but his arms buckled under his weight. The kett reached for the weapon again but it’s claws only found snow, until it curled around something beneath the white powder. It raised it’s arm in the air and Jaal’s heart stop in his chest.

“Na’har!” He screamed as it brought the rock down on his nephews head.

Blue blood stained the snow as the boy’s head snapped back. The rock came down again and again with Na’har trying to cover his face.

Ice filled Jaal’s veins as he desperately drug his body through the rubble. He felt tears freeze on his face as he screamed, begged it to stop.

Na’har’s arms grew limp. The rock was raised again-

And green blood painted the ground.

The Pathfinder stood above them, her armor blackened with blood. The swift arch of her blade had severed the kett’s hand and, before it could register its lost, she buried the blade into its chest. As it’s limp body hit the ground, Ryder threw up her hands, covering them with her crackling energy. 

Jaal barely noticed the bullets hailing down on them as he drug himself to his unmoving nephew.

_ No. No, no, no, please starts- no! _

His current snapped over his skin as he reached Na’har, hands trembling as he searched for his energy. He laid his hand on the boy’s chest and let out a broken sob. A light flutter brushed his palm. Relief shook his body, soobs ripping out of him.

“We have to move!” The Pathfinder urged him, laying a firm hand on his shoulder.

“I- I… he-h” His words couldn’t make it past his broken sobs.

Though he couldn’t see her face through the black glass of her helm, something about her softened as her grip on him tightened. 

“Can you carry them?” 

He nodded.

“Good.” She pointed at the smoking landing pad. “Get them to the ship.”

This time he didn’t hesitate, he gathered the boy in his arms and pushed his body forward. He heard Ryder close behind him as she fired her pistol and shielded them from stray bullets. 

Jaal could finally see the kett ship through the smoke and as they drew closer, he could hear the whirl of its thrusters as its engines warmed up. 

“Sara!” Peebee cried as her energy surrounded them, allowing the Pathfinder to drop her shield and sag into the asari’s waiting arms. “Goddess’s tits! You look like hell!”

“Is everyone here?” Ryder grunted as they pulled themselves up into the ship, Liam gave Jaal a grim look as he helped him secure his nephew.

“Yes. We’re all here.” A scout confirmed, but as Jaal looked over them, he saw several on the ground, bloody and unmoving. A comrade clutching them to their chest, sobbing.

He had to turn his eyes away.

“Everybody hold on!” A young angara shouted from the pilot's seat. “This is going to get rough.” The ship shuddered as the thrusters roared and they began to lift off the ground. The freezing air whipped against his face through the open sides and a violent jerk nearly threw him off his feet.

Alarms blared as they shook again. The ship cut through the air and Jaal saw the kett circle back around. The walls trembled as their shields absorbed the fire, but a ship this size could only take so much. The small hull tilted as the aircraft tried to pull away from the blasters but they were pinned between the gunship and the steep cliffside. The pilot bite out a curse as the kett’s fire forced the ship dangerously close to the towers.

The blaster fire followed them in a line of blazing lights. They hit the ships shielding again and the Pathfinder jumped from her seat.

“Stop! They’ll hit the fuel tan-”

The plane was violently thrown sideways as a billow of fire crashed into them. The cabin was filled with shrieks of terror and his stomach was in his throat as the ship spun out of control. Jaal pitched forward and his world became a kaleidoscope of bodies as they knocked against each other. He felt his side hit the wall and something grunted as it dug into his ribs before the world shifted again. 

And suddenly he felt nothing but air.

He squinted, blinded by white as his body became weightless. It was when he saw the blur of the ship that he realized he was falling.

His mind was too dazed to feel fear. He felt as if he was a spirit, merely watching this body get tossed in the wind as death grew closer. 

_ But what of Na’har. _ His heart squeezed in his chest. Would he even make it through the night? Could he accept death without knowing what became of-

Something gripped his arm and it felt like his mind slammed back into his body. He suddenly felt all too aware of how the wind stung his eyes and how the cold drove daggers into his flesh. His mind stupidly stuttered as he saw the Pathfinder cling to his side.

How- wha-

“Jaal! Hold on!” She shouted over the wind.

He felt his skin prickle as her quiet current suddenly roared to life. It washed over them in a crackling wave and he had to swallow a yelp as its fire traveled down his spine. He heard her strain as her strange power slowed their fall but panic gripped his throat as her arms loosened around him. Cursing, his freezing hands struggled to find any kind of grip on her armor as she began to slip. He twisted his body and curled himself around her just as the ground rose to meet them.

Even with her biotics and the loose snow, their landing pushed the air from his lungs and rattled his bones as they bounced and rolled to a stop. He laid there, his lungs struggling to pull in the freezing air as his blood roared in his ears, but he was alive.

_ He was alive. _

The rumble started small but soon grew to shake his aching body. Roaring laughter rippled through him as he gripped his side only to find the Pathfinder still clinging to him.

_ I must sound mad. _

It was a struggle to calm his breathing and untangle their limbs, but he managed to get control of himself and slowly rose to his feet. She didn’t accept his offered hand as she stood silently and began to shake.

“I apologize.” He managed between gasps. “Now might not be the best tim-”

Something hard collided with his face and he was knocked to the snow again. He blinked stupidly, holding his aching jaw.

Ryder stood above him, her clenched fists pulsing with energy. She was silent for too long and Jaal began to feel uneasy. 

“You-” Her voice was low and he could barely make it out over the wind that was picking up. “Commander Do Xeel didn’t give you orders, did she.” 

She wasn’t asking.

Jaal swallowed. 

No.

His mother had been the one to radio him. He had been thrilled to see her when they’d arrived at the base, but when he heard her voice through his coms, ragged from crying, his heart plummeted. She’d been monitoring the kett signals when the call came through. She begged him to do something, anything. She couldn’t lose any more family.

He didn’t regret what he’d done, he’d do it a thousand times over if he had the chance to save his family, even if it endangered his commitment to the Moshi. He wished the others didn’t have to pay for his actions, but even then, he couldn’t find it in himself to apologize and his silence must have been all the answer the Pathfinder needed.

“You- you-“ Her small frame trembled. “You  _ lied _ to us. You put  _ everything- everyone  _ at risk.” Her voice stayed level, but it felt as biting as the air. 

Jaal moved to stand. “Ryder, pleas-” 

She shoved him back down with her biotics.

“And look where we are.” She swung her arms out at the icy valley they were now in. “How are we supposed to meet the others now?”

He felt angry words bubble up in his throat, but he swallowed them because she was right, and he hated that.

“ _ Pathfinder _ ,” a synthetic voice chirped up.

_ The _ _ AI, _ his mind growled.

“ I’m afraid that whatever course of action you  _ decide to take you will need to make a decision soon. I’m detecting a storm system approaching and your life support cannot function at this rate indefinitely. _ ” 

She was silent for several breaths. “Thank you, SAM.” Her anger bled from her as her energy faded and her body lost its tension.

Jaal slowly got to his feet, afraid he’d stoke her anger once again.

He cleared his throat, unsure of how to address the AI. “Are you still connected to the others?”

“ _ Not fully. I cannot contact them at present due to the storm’s interference, but their heading and last transmission indicated they intended to land near the refueling station for aid _ .”

“Then… they are alive?”

“ _ No further casualties were sustained _ .”

Jaal let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

_ Thank the stars! _

“There’s a  _ daar  _ that use to be in this valley some seasons ago.” He spoke to the Pathfinder’s back. “It will be enough to get us out of this storm and get a message out to the other bases.”

She nodded but remained silent as she turned to follow him.

* * *

His legs were heavy as he trudged through the snow. The wind grew to a deafening scream cutting between the plates of his armor and throwing up blinding walls of snow. His anger bubbled up every time he looked back to find the Pathfinder falling behind, but he bit his tongue and forced himself to slow to a crawling pace. She hadn’t spoken a single word to him since she’d punched him and he couldn’t decide if he was relieved or irritated by her silence.

But that seemed to be his heart lately.

He had been touched by the Pathfinder’s actions before all this mess; before Vold or Havarl. He had seen a thoughtful and tired woman sitting across from him that night in the mess hall. For a moment, his heart had felt hopeful, that perhaps this alien was the key to a peaceful future. She’d shown genuine interest when he spoke of his home and respected his silence when he didn’t want to say more.

And then it all when to  _ skutt _ .

Perhaps it’d been his fear of her thinking poorly of his home, the embarrassing truth of the Rokar, or her comments of the Milky Way and the privileges they willing threw away. Regardless of his excuses, he’d let his anger get away from him and he’d looked like an ass for it.

_ But they lied about their AI!  _ She _ kept it from you! _ His fury boiled under his freezing skin. 

_ Wouldn’t I have done the same? _

_ But who knows what other secrets they’re hiding from you. _

His waring thoughts paused as he saw a bolder in the cliffside. He recognized the landmark through the snow and knew their shelter was close.

He turned to the slow alien with renewed enthusiasm. “Ha! Pathfinder, we are almost there. Just a few more-” but she wasn’t behind him.

His stomach dropped as he struggled to see through the dense snowfall, but she was nowhere to be seen.

“Pathfinder?” Only the howling wind answered him.“Pathfinder!” 

Panic clinched his throat.

He took a stumbling step in the snow, trying to follow his footprints that were quickly being covered by the blizzard. 

“Ryder!”  _ No, no, no, stars no!  _ “Ryder! Ryder, please answer me!”

The freezing air burned his lungs as he ran, his eyes sweeping the snow covered valley. 

“AI...SAM, are you there?” His radio was silent.

_Skutt, skutt, skutt! _Didn’t she say something about life support? He hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but now…

Surely not.

Vold’s weather could be dangerous, but she’d been well armored and they hadn’t been exposed to the cold  _ that  _ long. Surely she’d just fallen behind in the snowstorm, but she’d been on his heels, hadn’t she? If she’d had a decent field for him to sense he wouldn’t have needed to keep an eye on her. He wouldn’t have-

His panic was cut short as his foot caught on the uneven ground under the snow, sending him tumbling forward. He bit out a curse as he struggled to pull himself out of the dense bank, spitting out the white powder. He was almost to his feet when something in the snow caught his attention.

The ground looked odd, smooth and black.

His stomach leapt to his throat choking off his cry as he fell to his knees again, frantically digging at the snow.

_ Oh stars, please be alive. Please, please, please- _

He could finally see an arm, then an opaque helm.

“Ryder! Ryder wake up!” He shook her but she didn’t respond.

Skutt _ , skutt, skutt! _

He scooped her up and began to run.

The storm seemed to double its efforts, slamming walls of wind into him attempting to push him back. He grit his teeth against the barrage and tucked the human further into his chest, trying to shield her from the attack. It was all he could do to force one foot in front of the other.

_ I’ve killed her.  _ His mind cruelty concluded.  _ I saved my family only to doom my people. _

She was supposed to change the tide of the war.

She was supposed to be their edge against the kett.

She was supposed to save the Moshi.

And now-

He tightened his grip around her.

He finally spotted a gap in the rockface barely noticeable unless one knew where to look. His tired body screamed at him as he stumbled through the crack, but he couldn’t slow his pace, not yet.

The path was dark and barely wide enough for his frame, but after a few bends it widened to reveal the  _ daar. _

Boxy structures filled the large cavern while generators and communication towers crowded the small spaces in between. Jaal rushed up to the nearest building and pushed his way past the stiff door. The air smelled stale and his frantic steps stirred up the settled dust as he passed the empty rooms. He finally found one that had stripped beds lining the walls and lowered the human down. 

Jaal racked his brain to remember his training during his first few rotations on this miserable planet. His commanders had lectured them endlessly on the planet’s unforgiving weather and had been sure to drill them on first aid should they be caught in it. He prayed the methods he’d been taught worked on humans.

He carelessly pilfered through the settlement collecting blankets, dry cloths, and what remained of an old sunlamp. He rushed back to the pathfinder and after a few tries, managed to get the heating lamp to work.

His hands shook as he turned to Ryder, still unresponsive, and looked over her armor. The sleek panels were seamless and there were no obvious latches that he could make out. His fingers felt fat and uncoordinated as he pried at the wet armor.

“ _ Skutting _ human design!” He snarled in frustration. He would have marveled at the intricate work if it wasn’t such a hinderance right now.

Finally, the panel of her shoulder guard gave under his fingers as a hidden mechanism hissed. Now knowing what to look for, he found the other locks and one by one, the plating released. He quickly tossed them to the ground revealing Ryder’s face. Horror gripped his heart as the wrongness of her pale skin struck him. Blue dusted her cracked lips and dried blood painted her nose. She looked like a corpse.

_ Skutt! _

He worked with frantic urgency, pulling off the wet top of the under suit, revealing a strange band that wrapped around her chest, but ignored it as he massaged warmth back into her extremities. He was so focused on his task that he jumped when icy metal touched him. 

He looked down, not understanding what he was seeing right way. A metal hand laid in his lap.  _ Ryder’s  _ hand.

His mind supplied him with the word  _ ‘prosthetic’  _ but his eyes traced the beautiful crafted metal up until it met the flesh of her shoulder where deep scars marred her skin. His eyes continued as his blood ran cold.

Her torso was carved and divided by a patchwork of scars and dark bruises. Deep, nasty etchings told him tales of pain and loss, ones that had no place on a peaceful researcher. His hand trembled as he unconsciously touched her leg below a massive cluster of pitted flesh low on her abdomen. Firm metal laid beneath her clothing.

But he didn’t feel sick until he saw the black and green bruise on her upper arm; the one shaped like a hand.

His mind replayed him turning to her, absolutely furious, and grabbing her after Efra’s vidcall. He remembered thinking how thin her arm was, but regardless, he let himself squeeze it tighter. 

He’d been so angry- had felt so betrayed.

How close had he been to actually breaking it? That thought made bile rise in his throat.

His mind reeled with question as he finished his work and moved her to a dry bed. He tucked the blanket around her and adjusted the sunlamp, careful not to warm her up too quickly.

As he saw to changing out of his own wet armor, he combed through his memory wondering how he’d missed this. He’d never seen her without her gloves, and though he had thought it a little odd when he didn’t see others observing the fashion, he didn’t think much of it at the time. Considering it was common for angara to wear them out in public, he’d just assumed Ryder was more reserved than her crew.

After slipping into the dry clothes he’d found, he pulled an extra tunic over her head and settled in beside her. He let himself sink into the mattress and molded himself to her back so his heat could add to the sunlamp’s efforts.

Jaal knew she was small, but she was completely dwarfed by him and that thought felt… strange. To think the alien that had survived a Rocar ambush, fought a monstrous kett, and saved him from his own foolishness was so meager in stature was… a bit unnerving.

He wondered what else he’d assumed wrong about her as he counted her breaths, terrified the next wouldn’t come.

* * *

Jaal hadn’t realized he’d drifted off until movement stirred him from his sleep.

Ryder squirmed under the blanket, leaning further into him while muttering nonsense and he nearly laughed with relief.

“...ome on...lazy…” She muttered into his arm. “...Imari’s... expecting us.”

He froze when he felt her turn and curl against his chest. “Uh...Pathfinder-”

“Your sister will have your head if…” She let out a groggy sigh. “... if you’re late again Petro.”

“Ryder?” He tried to gently pull his arm out from under her but it had grown numb.

“Hum?” She brought her hand up to rub the sleep from her eye and finally looked up at him.

And he could see the exact moment she recognized him.

Her scream shook his head before her feet came up and kicked him away with a ripple of biotics. Jaal crashed to the ground with an ungracefully  _ oof  _ and he was reminded of his sore body. 

“ _ Un’ha pah hesh!”  _ She gasped, clutching her side as fresh blood began to pour from her nose. “J-Jaal? What the  _ hell!” _

He didn’t answer her as he was too busy trying to remember how to breathe. With a grunt, he managed to sit up, bruised back resting against the leg of the neighboring bed.

“I- where-” She gasped, wiping at the blood with the back of her hand. “- just what the- what the  _ hell  _ happened? Where are we?” She waved her hand around the poorly lit room. 

Until she realized her metal hand was bare. 

Her mouth pulled into a hard line and her eyes suddenly looked… uncomfortable. She pulled the blanket tightly around herself.

“I… uh-” Jaal nervously cleared his throat suddenly unsure what to say. “Humans do not do well in… such temperatures, I assume?”

She had her eyes pinned to the floor and answered in a horsed tone. “No. Not well at all.”

Jaal nodded. “The… storm worsened and you collapsed.” He didn’t mention how close she’d come to being buried in it. Now didn’t feel like the time for unnecessary stress. “We were luckily near the  _ daar  _ and were able to take shelter before…”  _ you died,  _ but he swallowed a lump in his throat.

“Ah.” 

“I… uh- I tried to-” he gestured to the blankets and sun lamp, hoping she’d understand the situation since his tongue had become heavy in his mouth.

He hadn’t thought anything of it at the time, but now, faced with Ryder’s obvious discomfort, he wondered if he’d overstepped a line.

She finally looked up at him, her eyes were unreadable. 

“Ah- I-” She licked her lips and her eyes darted away. “Thank you. Everything’s… still attached, so-uh… that’s good.” Her scarred hand darted out from its warm cover and flexed in front of her face, testing its integrity.

“Yes, it is.” 

Heavy silence filled the room and the weight threatened to suffocate him. His chest felt overstuffed, about to burst with all the words he wanted to say-  _ needed  _ to say. He had so much to apologize for and so many questions to ask. His anger before now sat low and warm in his gut, like forgotten coals and he was content to leave them there. 

His blind anger had done enough and he wasn’t sure he could fix everything it’d ruined.

“So… um, you… dressed me.” Ryder pulled at the too wide collar.

“Yes”

When her eyes darted towards him like knives, he realized she expected an explanation.

“Your suit lining was wet.” He elaborated, unsure of what she wanted him to say. “But your…” He gestured to her lumpy chest, “covering was dry, so I left that.”

That was not what she was looking for. Her face turned red and outrage flashed in her eyes.

He rose to defend himself.“I am sorry if-”

She jerked away from him and he felt his heart twist in his chest. He sat back down.

He’d never hated himself as much as he did in that moment, with her face twisted in anger and her eyes wet with shame.

He’d done something  _ very  _ wrong. Jaal wrung his hands together, unsure what to apologize for but know one was due.  _ Many  _ were due _ .  _ He looked back up at the small alien and slowly bowed low. 

Ryder squawked in surprise as he laid his forehead on the cold floor.

“I carry a knife with me on your ship should I ever get the order to kill you. I knew there was a possibility the Rocar would be on Havarl, but I was ashamed to speak of them so I held my tongue. Your stories of your home angered me and I took that out on you unjustly. I felt like a fool when I realized I had not noticed your AI and wanted…” he hated the words but forced himself to finish. “... I wanted you to fear me so you would never think to hide information from me again. I put you and your relationship with my people at risk to save my family.

“Ryder, you have no reason to trust me or my words, but I am sorry. I’m sorry for accusing you of the very things I, in turn, did to you. I’m sorry for hating you for being something you have proven you are not time and again. I have been hypocritical, hateful, and dishonest. I can not-”

A hand on his shoulder stopped him. He looked up and saw Ryder kneeling in front of him.

“Please stop.” She looked uncomfortable. That was definitely not what he’d wanted. 

His dismay must have shown on his face, because she let out a sigh and settled on the floor beside him. He waited as she tucked the blanket tightly around herself and rested her head back against the frame of the bed.

“Look, I do appreciate you saying all that, but I…” her teeth worried her lip, “Right now just isn’t a good time for it. We’re both hurt, we almost died-”

“Which is precisely  _ why  _ I must say it.” The argument tumbled out. “We have been lucky so far, but I do not know if fate will favor us again. I do not want to leave such things unsaid.”

Her face seemed troubled as she kept it turned up, listlessly watching the ceiling.

“Then are you apologizing for my sake, or for your own?”

Even though they were barely a whisper, her words felt like a blow to his gut. A sharp retort was in his mouth, but he swallowed it back down, playing back her words.

He did feel awful for what he’d done and wanted that weight to be lifted from him, but that wasn’t all there was, was it? Scrutinizing over his own heart, he pulled apart his words and motives fishing for more. His words had been true and he would rather the stars fade out before he wounded her again with his temper. But a part of him felt snagged by her words. 

“I… do not know.” He felt betrayed by his own voice, but felt a nagging thought tug at him.

_ How can I apologize when I do not understand the depth in which I have harmed her? _

She huffed, rubbing at the scar above her eye in frustration. “Look, just… forget I said anything. I’m tired and cranky and it hurts to breathe right now so…” 

Jaal turned and studied her face. Though her color had improved, she was still too pale and something tense laid behind her eyes. 

“There is something still bothering you.” He said.

She chuckled humorlessly, “ _ Everything  _ bothers me. It’s my job.”

He persisted. “I have done something else that has caused you grief.”

“It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t be mad at you for it. I just have to… figure it out.”

“I have done a poor job so far trying to understand you. So please, teach me.”

Ryder turned to meet his look and seemed skeptical. She studied his face, looking for any trace of discite.

“I guess… I...” She turned away and sighed, struggling to voice her thoughts. “On Havarl, when you… shot- I…”

He waited patiently.

“I’m not a soldier… and I know this is a war… but- I…” She growled in frustration. “Just forget it.”

“Killing the Rocar upset you.” He finished for her.

She huffed, but nodded. “I was taught that… words can bridge any gap. That if you can understand the people around you then you can avoid such senseless… loss.” Her eyes stared coldly at her scarred knuckles. “But that is a very unpopular mindset to have, especially for someone in my position. I thought if I could prove to myself that words could work on a scared and hurt kid, then maybe… it could work on the rest of this mess.” Her fist clenched. “But I was wrong. I saw his eyes, saw what he intended to do, and I just…” she breathed deeply, “Suvi would be dead if you hadn’t been there and it would’ve been my fault.”

Her admission hung like a knife in the air. Jaal remained silent.

“So no, Jaal. I’m not angry at you. I’m mad at myself and I’m…I’m just tired.” 

He mulled over her words before speaking, “You said you had-”

Radio statics filled the room.

“-ived, -signa- please respo-” Broken words punched through.

Jaal snatch the receiver up and frantically adjusted its dials. 

“This is Lieutenant Jaal Ama Darav, identification  _ Zah 02087 _ . Do you read?”

The radio was silent for a terrifying moment before bursting to life.

“We -ead you- Lieutenant.”

“Thank the stars.” and then louder, “I was separated from my unit. The human Pathfinder and I are taking refuge at site  _ Na’ah 442. _ We need transport.”

Again, the radio hesitated before responding.

“-nderstood. Extraction will- e ther- oon.”

Jaal let out a breath as he leaned back against the bed frame.

“We can still make it.” Ryder said, almost a whisper. “It’ll be close, but we can still make it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I love the idea that Jaal was the one to vote to just straight up shooting them out of the sky. That would’ve make for a very short game and a very short fix.


End file.
